This is a bit off an odd story, and an odd question.
Pre-warning, this may be a sensitive issue for some people, please keep caution while reading
Hubby and I want to TTC early this year, start in April. I've been doing research on different birthing techniques as the house we're in now is absolutely beautiful. Very old, with that lovely peaceful atmosphere that old houses have, lots of wood panelling. The bathroom is large enough that I'm able to wash two Great Danes in it, with room to walk around them and avoid the splatter from shaking. It has stained glass windows and a stained glass skylight, the tiling is cream and soft reds, old wood shelving and I find it beautiful and very relaxing in there.
Previously, I was very against homebirths, but I like to get all the facts on something before I swing against or for it, and I've found that the thoughts I had about it were mostly incorrect and outdated.
I quite like the idea of homebirthing in that bathroom, in the lovely roomy shower with the coloured sunlight.
I love showering anyway, and would adore to have that warm water on me while birthing.
We live walking distance to the hospital, so no issues with getting there in an emergency, and I've added it to my list of "Seriously consider".
However, there's a small problem, and I would be grateful for any outside advice in this matter.
My mother is extremely against homebirths, and goes hysterical when I mentioned the idea of liking to homebirth. I mentioned it once and she burst into tears and said no no no don't do it you'll die the baby will die, it's so unsafe, what if this...what if that...
This is the sensitive warning, again
Now, she has a really good excuse for this. Although she refuses to talk about it, and Dad has a closed mouth on the issue, I've gotten out in bits and pieces that she was at home alone, with Dad on a nightshift, and she had the baby at home. The ambulance got there but the baby was stillborn.
I don't know if this was before or after I was born, I know they had twins before me and miscarried very late in the pregnancy, and there was an early miscarriage before my youngest sister.
She denies it when I try and bring it up, and switches to another subject or just walks away, and I certainly do not want to press the issue on such a extremely tender subject.
I've tried the gentle approach with "You know Mum, they say that homebirth makes the birth easier, and..." but I get that far and she freaks out again.
I would really like to give more thought and research into homebirth, but I'm also tempted to just go the hospital route to soothe my mum. Then, I get into a fuss and think "It's not her baby! It's not HER body!"...and then I think well...it sortof is.
She's afraid that her beloved daughter and grandchild will die, and that's a very valid fear. I'm not in my rights to deny her fear, which is actually valid, because she's experienced what can go wrong.
So, is there any advice from hubbers on this tender issue?