When you never get invited anywhere because of your large number of kids...

**6fornow** · 28-01-2012 21:13

Originally Posted by bgbgbb

Well, I decided to post on my facebook page about my grievances (knowing very well the person involved is on fb) and although I was very general about the situation, they soon realised that I was frustrated at them. They took offence and don't want to catch up with us anymore, which is just fine for me, as I'd rather catch up with people who really want us to visit (it was DH's cousin and he's a pain anyway

)

WELL DONE!!! I have made a similar decision this year that 2012 is going to be truthful and confident! If you dont like what I respectfully say or my life, then dont listen and dont be in it! I may find it hard to start off with because I am usually quite timid in real life, but I am planning on being more assertive this year!

**bgbgbb** · 31-01-2012 05:42

Originally Posted by 6fornow

WELL DONE!!! I have made a similar decision this year that 2012 is going to be truthful and confident! If you dont like what I respectfully say or my life, then dont listen and dont be in it! I may find it hard to start off with because I am usually quite timid in real life, but I am planning on being more assertive this year!

Well done to yourself as well! I am also quite timid, and my husband being Irish is reluctant to confront issues, but even he agrees that we need to stand up for ourselves and stop letting these thoughtless people ruin our lives.

Funnily enough, another FB 'friend' also took offence and although it wasn't directed at her, she had been a culprit of leaving our kids outside before. Amazing how someone can feel guilt without even being accused.

**spideysmummy** · 31-01-2012 07:23

Originally Posted by bgbgbb

Well done to yourself as well! I am also quite timid, and my husband being Irish is reluctant to confront issues, but even he agrees that we need to stand up for ourselves and stop letting these thoughtless people ruin our lives.

Funnily enough, another FB 'friend' also took offence and although it wasn't directed at her, she had been a culprit of leaving our kids outside before. Amazing how someone can feel guilt without even being accused.

That's because children are people and should be treated as such! Did these people think you wouldn't care that your children were locked outside? :-(

Good on you for standing up and I'm glad people are feeling guilty. You want positive and supportive people in your life!

I only have one ds (and a belly babe), but regardless of how many children our friends have they are still welcome to be inside our home when we invite them over.

Mummy & Daddy - expanding our family! Our little man born April 2011 and now expecting another munchkin in August 2012! Loving it!!!!!

**Opinionated** · 31-01-2012 07:39

To be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn't choose to invite a family of 8, with 6 of those under 10yo to my house. 6 of yours, plus 2 of mine

. My stress and anxiety levels would just go through the roof and it's not about keeping my house pristine. I would be happy to visit you at your place or at a neutral place, but not at my own. The noise of all those kids in the house would have me hyperventilating. At least somewhere neutral or at your place, I could leave if it got too much for me. Sometimes, it's not about people being mean, it's about their own issues.

**4underfour** · 31-01-2012 13:19

Originally Posted by Opinionated

To be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn't choose to invite a family of 8, with 6 of those under 10yo to my house. 6 of yours, plus 2 of mine

. My stress and anxiety levels would just go through the roof and it's not about keeping my house pristine. I would be happy to visit you at your place or at a neutral place, but not at my own. The noise of all those kids in the house would have me hyperventilating. At least somewhere neutral or at your place, I could leave if it got too much for me. Sometimes, it's not about people being mean, it's about their own issues.

But remember that it isn't the number of kids that matters. I have plenty of friends with 2 kids that are far more badly behaved and messy than my 5.
It may be your own issue, but it is still mean.

**twotrunks** · 31-01-2012 16:32

We had a Bday party here yesterday, me the only adult with 9 six yo girls plus my four kids - all inside whenever they wanted lol. Through be told we don't get invited many places either, but have at least a couple of good friends who cope with us. And my kids don't sounds nearly as well behaved as yours op.

**Boobycino** · 31-01-2012 17:06

Wow that's really awful

I'd turn and leave TBH if my 'host' expected me to leave my children in the back yard like pets. I'd be so ****ed.

That said I have a very small unit, it would not be possible or sensible for me to have a family of 8 visit and be indoors (seriously when little miss starts crawling we we HAVE to move out, it's too small for 2 children), so I'd plan to be outside, set up tables & chairs for adults, bring out snacks and stuff for the kids and unless someone needs to use the bathroom avoid going inside.

And rain check if needed.

But no way - no way - would I expect someone to keep their kids outside in bad weather! If it starts raining or got too hot we'd just deal with being inside (and I'm sure if 6 kids + parents + myself + my child(ren) were inside my unit I'm sure we could all find enough floor space to stand for a bit. Lol

**6fornow** · 31-01-2012 21:42

Originally Posted by bgbgbb

Well done to yourself as well! I am also quite timid, and my husband being Irish is reluctant to confront issues, but even he agrees that we need to stand up for ourselves and stop letting these thoughtless people ruin our lives.

Funnily enough, another FB 'friend' also took offence and although it wasn't directed at her, she had been a culprit of leaving our kids outside before. Amazing how someone can feel guilt without even being accused.

Ha! So thats what it is then? My Irish heritage failing me

At least now I have a reason for being a bit.. avoidant?! when it comes to issues

**mummabec** · 01-02-2012 06:59

I totally see where opinionated comes from. I have a girlfriend who only has three kids but often has more like 6-8 kids in her house as she looks after other friends kids etc. And to be honest when I am there at those times I can't handle it! I can't think, I get flustered and it just doesn't work for me.
BUT, if you were my friend I would explain that and look at meeting somewhere neutral that wasn't too stressful for to look after all your kids.
I lived in a house of 6 kids for a large portion of my life too, but I just can't handle the noise and chaos, and that is with well behaved kids!
I do think it's wrong that no matter the weather they are made to stay outside though! And am glad to confronted them about it!

**Kiplusthree** · 10-03-2012 13:47

Getting flustered etc is one thing.. But these people were inviting them over then locking the kids outside..

Im sorry but there is no excuse.

Just dont invite them if you cant treat them ALL like human beings.

I have a gf who has 8, but shes in america
last time I saw her she had four, and I would invite her+her four, plus a few other girlfriends with between 1 and 3 each..

We'd end up with about 14-16 kids between 3-5 adults and it was hectic! But It was also so sweet to see them all playing together!

I understand having to plan lots of people over more carefully, but if you are going to get flustered or cant handle it, fine, DONT invite them.

There are plenty of families out there more suited to have as friends for larger families