My BIL has two children, one is 6yrs and one is 4yrs. The 4yr old is a handful and swears, hits, is rude, disobedient. The parents (DH's brother and wife) parent VERY differently to us. They smoke around the kids, swear around and AT the children, smack for little (or no) reason (I'm not a smacker), talk inappropriately to everyone and each other, are not respectful, let the kids eat whatever they want (cans and cans of softdrink, junk food etc).
DH and I used to look after their children from when each was only 2 weeks old every weekend for one or two nights until they were 2 & 4 respectively. Their parents liked to have as much 'time off'as they could possibly get to party, gamble, drink, smoke and spend all their benefits (you know the type.)
BIL and wife have started suggesting regularly that my DS spends the day with them and I have told DH it is not going to happen. BIL asked DH again a few days ago whether DS could go and spend the day with them at a local waterpark. DH said that he doubted I would be ok with it because I'm "a bit weird with other people looking after DS, a bit clingy, you know what shes like..."(I'm not happy about this explanaition but DH said its true and what else was he supposed to say! ), BIL asked why and was a bit affronted saying "what, doésn't she think I can look after him? I trusted her with MY kids!"
I now feel a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing, but I'm not ok with DS spending time alone with them! They have good intentions and would 'look after him', but not the way I would like them to, and they wouldn't be able to not smoke, swear, disrespect each other and the kids around my DS.
BIL is not a subtle type so I expect he will say something when we see them next. What do I say?!