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  1. #31
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    Fair enough... but you spoke your opinion as though it were fact (Will be beneficial to spend time apart etc...) and it simply is not a fact.

  2. #32
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    MyLittleLilacTree

    There is a fantastic book out there by Gina Ford.. Called The Contented Littke Baby .. Have a look it may help you with setting up a bit of a routine for you and baby and help get things more into place.

    Good luck xx

  3. #33
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    The OP also said she is using the No Cry Sleep Solution with some success. She should stick with it, No Cry solutions take a fair bit of time to be effective as they gently and slowly change habits.

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  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    Fair enough... but you spoke your opinion as though it were fact (Will be beneficial to spend time apart etc...) and it simply is not a fact.
    Again.. Read into it as you will. This mother obviously needs her baby to sleep properly in her cot. I suggest you giving the OP as much word for word thought as you have though to give mine.

    All the best xx

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by VintageLover View Post
    Again.. Read into it as you will. This mother obviously needs her baby to sleep properly in her cot. I suggest you giving the OP as much word for word thought as you have though to give mine.

    All the best xx
    And many of us have.
    Ergo, baby gets to sleep with mum and Kim gets hands free.
    Stick with the no cry solution, it will work it just takes time.
    I recommended Babybliss, it's a good middle ground to help baby sleep in the cot without leaving to cry.

    Also I'd check out the Wonder Weeks, your baby might be going through a huge developmental leap which makes them more clingy and sleep goes our the window.

  7. #36
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    Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by VintageLover View Post
    Im not suggesting letting a baby cry to the point of causing damage.. That's just silly. Nor am I suggesting to close a door on her baby to be 'lazy' ..that also is just silly.

    I am suggesting creating some distance for a mother who is obviously struggling with her chosen 'parenting style'.. There are other options that as a new mother she may want to investigate.

    To continue along the same path will not change the situation and it seems that the mother would like something to change to give her some independence back. I am simply offering an alternative and some options for her to consider.

    I never implied leaving her baby to cry so hard it would cause damage neither did I tell her to shut the door and be lazy...

    Creating some distance between her and her baby will be beneficial to both parties.

    Thanks
    Thankyou for your advice, but I'm quite set in being there for her as much as possible. This parenting style feels completely natural to me, and I believe I will raise a daughter who knows how much she is loved and will have an amazing bond with me. That's not to say it's easy, but I feel it will be worthwhile. I bf on demand so strict regimens like 'Save Our Sleep' are not for us. And I would have appreciated a little bit more sensitivity to my chosen parenting style and for you have not used terms like "mistake" etc.

    Thanks

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  9. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by MyLittleLilacTree View Post
    Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions



    Thankyou for your advice, but I'm quite set in being there for her as much as possible. This parenting style feels completely natural to me, and I believe I will raise a daughter who knows how much she is loved and will have an amazing bond with me. That's not to say it's easy, but I feel it will be worthwhile. I bf on demand so strict regimens like 'Save Our Sleep' are not for us. And I would have appreciated a little bit more sensitivity to my chosen parenting style and for you have not used terms like "mistake" etc.

    Thanks
    Dear dear,

    I never used the term "mistake" either.

    I used apostrophes for 'parenting style' as you and others referred to it as this.

    Lots of sleep deprived mothers on this thread I think.

    I really hope you sort something out and get some much needed rest love. Sometimes others with differing opinions who have also been there before can have a lot to offer. Stick with it though and I wish you all the best of luck with your soul not longing too much to sleep all day/paint or go back to uni because you are needing some distance from your baby. Good luck once again xxx

  10. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by VintageLover View Post
    Im not suggesting letting a baby cry to the point of causing damage.. That's just silly. Nor am I suggesting to close a door on her baby to be 'lazy' ..that also is just silly.

    I am suggesting creating some distance for a mother who is obviously struggling with her chosen 'parenting style'.. There are other options that as a new mother she may want to investigate.

    To continue along the same path will not change the situation and it seems that the mother would like something to change to give her some independence back. I am simply offering an alternative and some options for her to consider.

    I never implied leaving her baby to cry so hard it would cause damage neither did I tell her to shut the door and be lazy...

    Creating some distance between her and her baby will be beneficial to both parties.

    Thanks
    Ooops just re-read the post and you are right, you did not use the word mistake. But I feel as though it were implied in your first comment.

    I am happy with my chosen parenting style, incredibly happy. I like being around her all the time, but would just like an hour or so to myself each day. Which many attachment parents easily achieve - their babies sleep, they get their me time. So I know it will come in time.

    I think everyone gave me some great advice, and as many of you, and VintageLover also, suggested, DD and I do need little spurts of alone time. But we're slowly building up to that. Today she has been much better behaved - lol perhaps she sensed I needed a little bit of a break.

    I love her being this small and having someone rely on me so much, because she is my whole world and I am hers One day she'll probably be a teenager that says I'm a terrible mother because I won't let her go to a party, or drink alcohol under 18, but I'm hoping by AP'ing her, we'll have an unbreakable bond.

    Thanks for all your advice - going to research some slings/carriers today xxxxx

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  12. #39
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    Yes it truly is a special time and taking a Little step back will not influence that but may just give you the break you need.

    We all have different views and opinions, I'm sorry you felt I was implying your parenting style was a mistake. I didn't mean for that. I don't have a 'style' as such... I just do what works for me and my child. Baby is only little .. You are a new mum.. There is plenty of time to perfect a style.. There will be many more bumps in the road. I would put your needs and your baby's needs before what any stranger believes. Baby and mum both need lots of rest!

    All the best xx

    Enjoy looking up slings!

  13. #40
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    Oh my god OP I could have written your post word for word (except the ear infection part).My DD is just like yours...gives me hopes with good sleep nights for 3,4 nights and than back to waking nearly every 2hr;horrible day sleeper; very clingy to me ;wont stay with DH more than an hr if im not around and hopeless with anyone else. I've also been feeling that i'm slowly falling apart..I love DD to bits but last night she kept waking every half hr from 2am till finally at 7am DH took her to play so i could rest ..i was a nerve wreck and extremly close to walking out the door and never returning...
    But than i looked at her this morning and despite the massive headache from lack of sleep and ho unmotherly i was feeling..when she gave me her special smile that i know is only for me..i just melted and gave her lots of hugs.
    I know things are hard right now and you feel that all your doing is looking after your LO..that you've lost defination as to who you are.. but it wont last forever...as our DD get older they'll become more independant and will stay with their dads (or other babysitter) longer so we'll manage to go out and have fun.may take a while but just be strong ...this time WILL pass .. and know that your not the only on out there who feels like the way you do currently

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