DD is 4 and a half months....and my brain capacity is slowly deteriorating, I'm almost positive.
I consider myself basically an attachment parent - babywearing, bedsharing, breastfeeding etc. I just parent her in the way that feels natural to me, and then discovered later that that was the term for the parenting style that I had unknowingly adopted.
Now while it feels completely natural to me, to pick up my child when she's crying, and sleep next to her at night. It is beginning to put my mental state under some serious stress.
Lila won't sleep through - she started to at 10 weeks - did for 4 nights straight, and then an ear infection tripped up our excellent progress. Then she started again, and then another infection. Again, and then 4 month growth spurt. Again and now teething. I feel like she won't ever sleep through.
She'll only feed to sleep, I've been trying the Elizabeth Pantley "No-Cry Sleep Solution" and have seen some improvement where every now and again she'll fall asleep in her cot to her mobile, or in her pram or on her playmat - this is still probably 1 out of 10 times. This results in me having to take naps with her three times a day.. I know it's easy to say "just let her sleep by herself" but if she doesn't nap well, she sleeps much worse at night.
She's clingy and often fusses being held even by her dad, but the happiest cheekiest little girl when I hold her. I feel like I can't leave her very often with anyone because she will cry hysterically and I CANNOT bear the thought of that. I have been trying short stints though so I can do food shopping etc. and this seems to be improving,although it's much worse when I'm in the house. (Like if I'm trying to cook dinner and DP watches her).
I feel like I'm slowly losing my identity as an individual because my whole day revolves around trying to manage housework and my beautiful daughter. I love her so incredibly much, and I everytime she smiles it makes me forget everything above. But as I sit in the dark, feeding her to sleep once again, I can't help that part of my soul yearns to lie in bed all day, or paint, or go back to uni full-time.
And that's when I know, there has to be a solution....