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    1. Does your OH complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesnt fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    No, he would never complain, he even ate the worlds WORST pumpkin soup I made once without saying anything until I cheekily asked if he would like seconds bahaha poor man.
    And he doesn't ask me to cook anything in particular, if there is something he really would like he'd cook it for dinner

    2. How much does your OH "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    As we both work we do 50/50
    Normally if I wash he'll dry, I'll put on a load of washing and he'll hang it out. It's very even. But if I didn't work I would take on more then him.

    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your OH. For example your OH goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from OH and OH staying home looking after kids?

    Yes, no problems there, but we do prefer to go out together

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    Janesmum123  (05-01-2012)

  3. #12
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    In my house it's mostly equal.
    I do all the cooking but I get home first. There are a couple of things that I like to eat that he doesn't but he eats it anyway. He always compliments my cooking. He cleans up after dinner and often empties dishwasher.
    In terms of cleaning we are shared (we both work full time too though. I do think this will change if a baby comes along). He cleans upstairs and does all toilets as well.
    We probably have shared me time if that makes sense. He doesn't have many friends where we live but plans a yearly catch up with his best mate over a weekend.

    I think marriage is a lot of negotiation. Especially when it comes to household duties.

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    Janesmum123  (05-01-2012)

  5. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    I have a few question for you guys. I'm trying to sort out a few past issues with a certain someone and would like to know how things work for other people.

    1. Does your OH complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesn't fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    Nope. He'd happily scoff a dirt sandwich! I do enjoy cooking meals for him that I know he really enjoys, but he never requests or expects it.

    2. How much does your OH "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    He has his "zones" he's responsible for dishes after our evening meal, washes his work/farm clothes (not all the time, but at least once a fortnight) he also has the office as his responsibility. I'm responsible for all the other washing, ironing, putting away, cooking, meal planning, food shopping, bed making, lunch making etc... Though I was away for 8 weeks in hospital just recently and he did all of the above - plus doing our six year old DD's hair for prep Oh, I'm also a SAHM

    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your OH. For example your OH goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from OH and OH staying home looking after kids?
    For sure - we encourage each others me time.
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 05-01-2012 at 21:35.

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    Janesmum123  (05-01-2012)

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    1 - DF can be a bit fussy, there's things he won't eat & things he requests/suggests. I flat out don't like his cooking and generally rarely eat anything he makes so its fair enough.

    2 - he does more of the cleaning cleaning, like vacuum, mop, dust, wiping around type cleaning, as well as yard work. I do the daily house work stuff, cooking, dishes, grocery shopping, laundry. Things like changing sheets is about 50/50. They seem to annoy him first so he does it first. Also he's a lot tidier than me and feels he picks up after me a lot. (though he often includes Jasper's mess as MY mess; because if HE didn't do it it must have been ME )

    3 - reasonably even though I tend to organize jasper to stay at my mums for girls nights out because (though not pregnant) I plan to drink & be somewhat hungover the next day so don't want jasper at home. Though I plan things well in advance, whereas DF just decides that day he's going out and decides as the day/evening/night progresses whether or not he's having a big night or not. (whereas I do think if I just didn't message, call or answer my phone and then hours later said 'oh yeah I don't know, probably late' and left DF home with jasper he'd probably cracked the poops too! )

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    Janesmum123  (05-01-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by janesmum123 View Post
    i have a few question for you guys. I'm trying to sort out a few past issues with a certain someone and would like to know how things work for other people.

    1. Does your oh complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesnt fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    he has previously, but in all fairness they were failures...he doesn't any more though, but that probably is because he is thankful for a meal he doesn't have to cook (he is a chef).

    2. How much does your oh "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    he only helps as much as i nag him. It's painful.

    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your oh. For example your oh goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from oh and oh staying home looking after kids?
    no. But that's my fault. He wouldn't complain if i asked him to look after dd more while i did things alone.

    Last edited by Luna Lovegood; 05-01-2012 at 21:42.

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    1. Does your OH complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesnt fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    No so much complain, he will ask for things at certain points but generally we chat about what we both feel like. Mostly I cook, but I enjoy it. And he cooks sometimes when I can't be bothered. I cook for the kids and they eat first, then we eat later. But we tend to do lunches if possible more than dinners, I don't really like eating after 6:30pm.. and I can't eat with the kids... too hard so it's always after they're in bed if we do have a 'proper' dinner.

    2. How much does your OH "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    DH does a heck of a lot. He does most of the dishes, almost all actually. We split the washing half-half, whoever hangs it doesn't take it off, he is continually tidying and wiping down benches, we take turns making the beds.. usually we have an unspoken deal that whoever is home while the other person is dropping off or picking kids up they spend the drop-off/pick-up time tidying the house and preparing for the kids to walk in the door.

    There are things which we don't share, he mows the lawn, I clean the windows. But our basic house cleaning rule is - if it's bothering you, clean it yourself. And we both like a tidy house.


    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your OH. For example your OH goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from OH and OH staying home looking after kids?

    He has more time to himself than me... but he needs it more than I do. I socialise more than him, but I need it more than he does. Dh doesn't have any 'mates' but I wouldn't have a problem with him going out with them, as long as he left after the kids were in bed and was home at a reasonable time, and still up at 5:30 with the kids so I could go for my bike ride/swim. Our understanding is that we can both do whatever we please as long as it doesn't interfere with our responsibilities to each other or the kids.

    Except if it's for exercise.. I wouldn't have a problem with him going to a fitness or martial arts class even at crazy hour (5:30-6:30) and he wouldn't have a problem with me going to one... but there is no way either of us would go out before 7:30pm if it wasn't a timetable dependent activity.

    All extra time is reciprocated. We have understandings in place to.. In the July holidays I take the kids to my Mum's for a week, and when I get back he takes the kids to his mum's for a week. Same in the Christmas holidays. I took the kids to my Mum's for a week in December.. and he left with the kids yesterday... so I have a week to myself till next Wed. We need that time to ourselves. It's nice

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    1. He never complains about my cooking and will eat pretty much anything I prepare. He doesn't really make requests either, I would be open to that because I hate meal planning.
    2. I do most of the cleaning. He is very slack with housework, but will do it if I ask/nag enough
    3. I think our me time is equal - we both work weird hours so don't go out a lot anyway.

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    1. Does your OH complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesnt fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    DH rarely complains when I cook. Even if I make something simple (ie tonight I made lasagna, salad and garlic bread) he'll be like..omg this is amazing lol. Probably cos his mum is the worst cook ever!! DH cooks when we have friends over as he is a much better cook than me, although he rarely cooks..go figure!

    2. How much does your OH "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    I feel like it is my job to do the cleaning etc as DH works long hours as a lawyer and I'm a sahm. He will often do the dishes after we've had dinner and he always irons his clothes (none of mine ever need ironing ha), he often does vacuuming and sometimes cleans the bathroom. He also does all the work on the garden.

    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your OH. For example your OH goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from OH and OH staying home looking after kids?

    I hang out all week with my friends during the day so I don't feel the need for more 'me' time. Also all of DH's close friends married my best friends..perfect! So when he hangs out with his friends, we all hang out together. If I do go to the movies or something at night, DH will be happy to stay home with DD.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post

    1. Does your OH complain about the food you cook? Maybe not so much complain but doesnt fancy what you cook? And asks you to make certain dishes? In particular ones that take a long time to make?

    No he doesn't complain. He is honest if he doesn't like anything but always thanks me for the effort.

    2. How much does your OH "really help" with cleaning. Excluding kids just cleaning/ washing dishes/ laundry that type of thing. I am meaning on a regular basis not just here and there.

    DH will wash up occassionally, will vacuum at times without me asking him, and does all his own laundry (He will even wash the towels and sheets if he is on a roll!). As i am not working at the moment our rolls have changed. If I too was working full time then I would expect him to do more.

    3. Do you have "me" time the same amount as your OH. For example your OH goes out once a week with mates does that mean you can do the same without any confrontation from OH and OH staying home looking after kids?
    Yes he is quite happy to look after DS if I need him to. We tend to go out together or have gatherings at our place. DH has 2 annual trips away (blow outs he calls them) weekends with his mates and he does the same when I have girls trips away.

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    1. Dh is happy to eat whatever I cook, even on CBF nights. He will also cook too. The other day I crashed out in the afternoon and woke up to the smell of dinner.

    2. Jobs are equal in our house. Dh doesn't help because they are not my jobs, we are both responsible for chores. Dh doesn't do dishes or clean toilets, I don't mow lawns or put away folded washing. All other household chores are fair game and done by anyone who has time/is home.

    3. With work commitments and starting our own business, their isn't much time for me time. Sunday is family day we all spend it together doing something. Other time out is negotiated around work commitments and caring for our kids. We have both taken seperate holidays.

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