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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by VintageLover View Post
    Hmm I can relate to this for sure.. My near five year old daughter is a handful to say the least.. I've even been reading a book called asburgers in pink.. It's another spectrum of autism. My daughter is extremely smart and incredibly switched on but very hard to keep occupied at times, other times she will loose herself in play with her animals and little toys. She is clumsy and her fine motor skills aren't the best. She asks questions and talks incessantly to the point of driving me crazy. She thrives at kindy and childcare. Loves outdoors. Never bored where there's sand or water. Could memorize books and read then back to me page for page before the age of two! My family are no help and hubby works lots, the raising is mainly me.. I have waited this long to have another child as the whole thing had been hard yakka. I'm 7weeks pregnant now. My daughter also still wears a pull up to bed and soaks it. I also limit drinks before bed. She was daytime toilet trained by 2 1/2 ... Very very bright intellectual child but very highly spirited needs lots of interaction and attention. She plans her days in advance by asking me each day and what we are doing and she holds me to it! Her memory if fantastic and she remembers times from years ago.

    It can be very draining.

    I understand greatly.

    She also can't handle too much stimulation.. Bring over tired or hungry creates huge melt down..HUGE!

    I have to be prepared at all times. Yes I keep her away from junk as much as possible because it changes her personality. Sometimes I wonder if she's being devious at times.. It's a hard one to fully explain unless you also have a child like this. She is a pleasure but I need time away from her as she with me.

    I am going to grab fish oil today, I used to give it to her every day! Then we moved and I haven't for the last year....now I think that's why she's been a tad more trying lately lol!!

    Good luck and know there are others that care xxx
    Omg I could have written that word for word about my DD1 (she is 4.5). I will admit, I was starting to think that I was doing something wrong.... So relieved to know it's not me! Think I might give the fish oil a go as well!


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

  2. #12
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    Vintagelover, you have just described my ella. Ella is very smart also, but i have to get her to come foreward with it, like she wont give herself a chance to have a go at something, also she doesnt have great consentration as she will start something and then her mind has moved on to the next thing before she has given herself a chance to have a real go. if she is tired we all pay for it, and you can tell from the min she wakes in the morning if she didnt have a good night sleep as the entire day is a drag and it is my 6 year old that pays for it then after school as she just gets pestered until she is in tears. i will get that book and have a look. i wish i had of trusted my instincts years ago and instead of listening to the drs i should have put myself out there and got some info and tips.
    thanks

  3. #13
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    Yes yes yes.. Well I went grocery shopping thismorning and grabbed some fish oil tablets for my daughter.

    It is nice to chat to other parents going through similar situations. Yes I have at times wondered what in the world I have done wrong for my child to act the way she does sometimes. Especially times when she worked herself into such a state that she's coughing a dog bark like cough and can't calm down. Usually because she can't get her own way. I'm fairly strict with her and as she is getting older I can reason more with her. She thinks I'm horrible at times and has just started telling me she doesn't love me when I tell her off. Distraction worked a treat when she was a toddler to prevent the melt downs. The harder behaviors started more when she got to about 3 I believe...

    Good luck to us all!!

    Mine is at childcare today ahhhh..

    I get shopping done and clean house in peace.

    Routine is very important for these kids but mine tends to become stuck in repetitive behavior so I have to be careful to slightly alter things at times. Since she was little she has lined up her toys.. Repeditively.. All through the house would be lines and lines of toys.. Since 2. She would fix the fringe on the carpet at 12months.. Looking back there were little things here and there that I thought were just cute and funny but as she's grown I believe they fit into the scheme of things more !

    At the end of the day I would rather a highly intuitive, highly intelligent child to one who is happy plonked infront of the tv or computer for hours.

    Mine screams a blue fit if she can't get her dolls dress on... Ahh dear.. I have however managed to calm this behavior down and she is learning more and more to keep trying and ask for help if she needs it.

    I also have enrolled my daughter into a waldorf (rudolf Steiner) school as I believe main****** school would crush her and at the end of the day I want to nurture and encourage her freedom not supress it.

    All the best xxx

  4. #14
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    hi MRS TIGGYWINKLE, we had ella allergy tested in adelaide( not allergic to anything tested for possible just intolerence) when she was about 1 ish as she was having issues with milk and it would make her spew and give her a really bad asthma cough. so she was then on soy but that gave her the runs. then she has been on rice milk ever since and we havnt had any probs touch wood. i kept trying to convince her docs that her poo was abnormal as til this day she would have never had more than 5 'logs' it has always been fould smelling and runny all of the time, but apparently that is normal!!!!! i beg to differ. but i think i am going to have to crack down and face all this myself for all our sakes. i have always wanted medical help but never got it. i have outright requested refferal to paed's with refusal, the drs seriously think i am crazy.. if ella gets sick it stays for a long time and a simple cold gives her 8 weeks of asthma cough and still the drs refuse to diagnose her with asthma. i made o point of goint to an ent after demanding a referal to have her tonsils adnoids and ears checked (about 8 infections for 2011), and he said the back of her nose looked to be showing an allergy type condition comon in asthmatics and those with food allergy. back to the gp and tell her what he said and still nothing.. i think i need to stamp my feet a bit harder..
    i do think there are allergy issues or more so intollerence issues but i have always just wanted to have dr help to get to the right point.

  5. #15
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    This thread really helps me, thank god I'm not the only one!

    My Ds1 is incredibly difficult! He's actually getting slightly better now hes getting a bit older (5) but he is surely no walk in the park still! People have suggested he may have aspurgers syndrome (type of autism) but seeing him behave well on and off has delayed us getting him checked (me and ehH still good friends and try to work together) Other people say that some kids are just more difficult or "spirited" then others, and gosh is that true!! My Ds2 is the most chilled out little bob marley if I ever did meet one! aha! Which was great because I dont know how I would have coped with two crazies! Im really hoping my third will be another Marley type

    Sorry I know I dnt have any advice for you, just wanted to relate, its crazy sometimes, There had been times where I had to hug him really tight just to stop him from bashing his head or breaking things around the house/hurting others during a rage (between 3-4yrs)

  6. #16
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    Wow.. They refused a referral!??!! Ridiculous! I had my daughters pop tested..she also has runny poos frequently... I cut gluten from her diet and noticed am improvement in her temper and poops. I was sure she had a tummy parasite or something!! All was clear but the doctor offered to refer her to a pediatric doctor to evaluate her diet. I though I'd start cutting foods though to find out a bit myself. I try to keep her from the hospital as much as possible as at 16mth she had osteomyelitis and was extremely extremely ill for a while. She to this day is scared of doctors and nurses and when I took her for her 4 year old needles she screamed the place down, genuine fear. It was shocking.

  7. #17
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    Wow, we have a 4 year old who is exactly the same. It sounds terrible to say but it is so nice to hear that i'm not alone!

    I can recommend the fedup website. I've always been so lucky (we'll I thought) our son has always LOVED tomatoes, grapes, broccoli, veges and berries for as long as I can remember however these were causing more harm than good!!!! On stopping these his behaviour improved rapidly. Not as much anger. I don't do the full diet either as I've worked out which things trigger him off and it acts as a build up effect.

    Since the birth of our second son (now 4 months) we've had a massive decline, mainly because for a period of time I didn't watch what he was eating.

    Today was a tough one for me but as I was putting him to bed (in his pullup, which is always soaking wet in the morning too!!!) he lent over and said, I love you mum, your my best friend!!! If I didn't hear that I'd be crazy!

    I've also had a friend inform me that Efelex is very very useful for her. We did try the liquid however it really smells yukky and he just refused it.

    I've also tried the naturesway lolly type ones but after a while he said, no thanks mum.

    Does anyone have any tips on how to get them to take the fish oil????

    I'm also at a loss as where to go from here, most days i'm arrrrrrrr. I just hold out for kindy days!

    My thoughts are with you and your a strong mumma. You should be proud of your little munchkins

  8. #18
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    With the fishy tablets (I'm lucky my daughter loves them, she loves eating all vitamins) you can cut the tops off of those lolly type ones and squeeze the insides out onto a food that you know he will eat.. I give mine two a day.

    Since I've been giving them to her again there's been a huge improvement..

    Thanks for the website I will def be looking at that too.. Didn't know that fruits and veg were triggers!? Is it because of sugar in fruit?

    Build up of sugars always sets mine off... Hot weather didn't help this week and our diet went out the window as I'd had a miscarriage so we were eating crap takeaway..a few nights if this and she had a massive massive meltdown at bedtime Monday night.... Terrible I felt so bad!

    Back on track now though..

    Off to look up fed up now xx

  9. #19
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    Quick reply (sorry) but don't forget you're pregnant. That really changes the behaviour of a 4yo. My Mum said my brother was 4 when she was pregnant with #3 and he barely left her side for about the last 10 weeks of her pregnancy and drove her nuts. My ds was 4 during my pregnancy last year and he was extremely demanding and clingy the whole year. Everyone worries about 'how will I manage my current children & a new baby', but honestly that was easy, compared to the pregnancy. I was tired, emotional, trying to do lots of things 'before the baby came' and combine that with a 4yo who was clingy & struggling with the concept of another baby coming and it was a bad combination.

    We kept things as simple as possible. Don't worry about toilet training overnight - go back to pull-ups. It will sort out in time. Pick your battles. Kinder will help give you both a break. Make sleep a priority (for both of you) and make sure she's got plenty of food (4yo's eat so much!) and make sure she's got toys/activities that she enjoys doing on her own accessible.

    The good news is that as soon as my dd was born my ds was an angel. His Kinder teacher said he was a different boy at Kinder too. I think he was seriously worried about me & the bub and he was so much more relaxed after it was all over & he had a baby to cuddle. Btw have you read books to her about becoming a big sister and what a new baby is like? I know she's already got a younger sibling, but she was 2 years younger during that pregnancy and would have understood a lot less.

    hehe, short reply became long. all the best!

  10. #20
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    Hi
    My 4.5yr daughter is very similar - challenging from the outset, seemingly very bright, great verbal skills from early age etc. Very fussy eater, whinges ALOT, but can be very funny too, which makes discipline tricky at times. I have tried 1-2-3 magic & do find it a helpful strategy as long as you stick to the golden rules i.e. don't fall into the trap of too much talking or too much emotion (hard as that is when my daughter is driving me crazy!) I have found that we have our best runs of days when I take my foot off the accelerator and resist the temptation to fill our day with lots of activities. I try to slow down and let her take the day at her own pace. She is a very imaginative child and can spend good stretches of time playing make believe on her own (just have to keep my 21 month old out of her way!) This keeps her happy, so less whinging or bad behaviour.
    Preschool has helped enormously too - the structure and consistency are great for her, and they have taught her many self-care skills that I found so difficult with her. I also have learnt to recognise what I call my 'flash points' i.e. the situations where she is most likely to send me into a rage (for me, it was the agony of getting her dressed each day) and I learned skills for those particular situations (e.g. I just decided it was okay for us to go out with her in her pi's and stopped forcing her to get dressed...pretty soon after, she started to dress herself more willingly) A final note: my daughter LOVES art. I always have a pack of A4 paper & basket of crayons on the kitchen sideboard, beside the dining table. She can access these herself and now spends long periods of time each day engrossed in her drawing. This is very calming for her, not to mention now starting to interest my younger daughter - keeps her busy too! Good luck!!!


 

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