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  1. #1
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    Unhappy DP has NO $ex-drive- Please heeeelp!

    Ok, so I have a quite personal question to ask the ones of you in here who are males with low libido or have experience with males with low libido.

    A little background history:
    My DP first started antidepressants over two years ago, and was quickly affected by the common side effect of low/non-existent libido. Even when he weaned off after about a year, the low $ex-drive persisted and has never improved. He is now on antidepressants again and I can see a great improvement in his moods, however he has NO $exdrive whatsoever. I’ve pretty much had back-to-back pregnancies for 2 ½ years (with both antenatal and postnatal depression- so it is safe to say that $ex has not been on the forefronts on our minds) But now it is starting to become yet another issue in our relationship. I don’t want DP to go on medication to counter-effect the low libido if it is potentially harmful to him, but I am also concerned that our future is completely platonic. It is difficult to talk to DP about this because I do not want to put added pressure on him or effect his already low self-esteem. But something needs to be done. Before I have another talk to him, I thought I would hear about others experiences so that I can address the issue with more information.

    Does anyone find themselves in the same situation? Can someone tell me if something can be done about it? Are there relatively safe medications or alternative treatments that might be effective?

    Heeeeelp!

    Love from the sultry “virgin”.
    Last edited by MuminMind; 04-01-2012 at 12:47.

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    I have experienced it with a past partner. He got much better when he had holidays, slept more, ate better.

    Diet and relaxation really were the key. Exercise and general well living also helped him. I do think it was the depression as well as the drugs that effected him and the sleep/eat/relax helped his depression more than libido directly.

    Hope that makes sense...

  3. #3
    MuminMind's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for your reply, Izy. Thanks for sharing.

    So you are saying that him looking after his physical health and wellbeing improved his depression and consequently also his libido? Did his improved libido happen as a result of decreasing his does of ADs or weaning off them as well, or did he remain on the same dose?

    Thanks again!

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    MIM - I have to say that DH started to overcome his low libido (and me too) through exercise. In fact I blame the exercise on us falling pregnant this time because we were at it like rabbits after we started exercising and feeling better about ourselves! Lol.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bellie View Post
    I blame the exercise on us falling pregnant this time because we were at it like rabbits after we started exercising and feeling better about ourselves! Lol.


    Ok, that answers it. We WILL have a platonic relationship for the rest of our lives. I highly doubt that I can get him to exercise, unless I dangle a beer of can in front of him. And we all know what alcohol does to ones libido!

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    I dont know any male who went through this. But I personally went through what you are talking about. I was on anti deppresents (Effexor XR) and it made my sex drive non existing and me and my partner went months without touching each other and it took a toll on our relationship. I would suggest going onto another anti deppresent or try some natural medications to kick start it again. Natural medications will not interact with the anti deppresents. I have heard horny goat weed is good.

  7. #7
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    No advice, just . I know how this affects you. You still haven't spoken to him?

  8. #8
    MuminMind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lollie1990 View Post
    I would suggest going onto another anti deppresent or try some natural medications to kick start it again. Natural medications will not interact with the anti deppresents. I have heard horny goat weed is good.
    DP has already been on a few different ADs so I don't think changing medication is going to be very helpful. But I will definitely look into the horny goat weed! Thank you

    GFP: I have tried to speak to him about this issue quite a few times, but although he acknowledges that it is a problem, he sort of dismisses my attempts at improving our situation and changes the topic. It must be so hard for him, and it is really affecting my self-esteem too.

    I thought I might do a little bit of "research" here and elsewhere to arm myself with more knowledge before initiating further discussion with him.

  9. #9
    MuminMind's Avatar
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    Bump.

  10. #10
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    Bump here for this lovely lady!


    You'll have to excuse the iPhone auto correct. It sax!

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to GluttonForPunishment For This Useful Post:

    MuminMind  (04-01-2012)


 

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