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  1. #1
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    Default Help!! Losing my mind... Want bub to self settle but DONT want to do CC.

    Well as the title suggests, im losing my mind! Sorry in advance for the length!

    DS is 9.5 months old. He is still in our room, in his cot. He USED to self settle, and would sleep 12-13hrs overnight without waking or stirring from 3 months old. I thought we had it made! THEN... at 4.5mnths, he started teething and its all gone out the window!

    His day naps are fine. He has either 1 big sleep for 3hrs, or 2 small 1.5-2hr sleeps.... Its night times that is the issue. He has a dummy, and is generally rocked to sleep, or held to go to sleep, or if they dont work i lay on our bed till he falls asleep then move him. Usually he has a bottle before his sleeps, and he either feeds to sleep or until he is dopey, then puts his dummy in, rolls over, snuggles into my chest and goes to sleep....

    He goes down around 8pm, and wakes an hour later needing re-settling (rocking) back to sleep. IF im lucky, he will go back in his cot and stay there - after doing the arm drop test and he doesnt flinch....but lately he wakes up and just rolls over, stands up and screams (with tears) until he is picked up again as soon as he is put down. So we repeat the process of rocking, then putting down. After a few attempts if unsuccessful i give up and put him in with us...just so i can get some sleep.

    He also has bottles 3-4hrly overnight, at which time we repeat the whole process over and over again. The bottles dont phase me, and he also refuses them during the day..... i dont mind...its the NOT going back to sleep that is driving me insane.

    Tonight ive started trying to pick him up to settle him, then lay him down with his dummy and rub/pat him...quietly reassuring him that he's ok and im still there...The first time it took me 30mins and he went back to sleep...then woke 20mins later...i tried again and it took 15mins...hoping we've got him down now. (Resettled TWICE in under 90mins of him going down)

    Does anyone have any suggestions??Im not sure what to do, I hate having him cry, have always let him lead the routine by adjusting to his natural routine...but its starting to become more than a joke. TIA!

  2. #2
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    Poor thing - I really sympathise as my 7 month old DS is going through a similar phase. I BF him to sleep (the only thing that seems to consistently work) but recently he has been waking as soon as he is put in his cot, and is instantly alert and unwilling to be soothed back to sleep. If I do succeed in patting him back to sleep he seems to rouse again 5-10 mins later. I know the theory of shushing and patting but it's hard to be soothing when your baby is yelling and clambouring all over the cot!

    I am going to try putting him to bed earlier (currently his bedtime is about 8pm, which is better than the 10pm/11pm it used to be when he was younger), and have asked my DH to help with the patting sessions so that he gets used to having someone other than me (i.e. someone without magic boobs ) put him to sleep. I'm also looking into the strategies in the books 'No cry sleep solutions' as well as 'Helping your baby to sleep'. If I find anything of use I will let you know!

  3. #3
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    My DS (13 months) has never been great at settling himself to sleep and we can't leave him to cry as he just works himself up too much. I have found that having him go to sleep in his cot makes a big difference to night waking. We have found that we have had to take it very slow with him, starting with soothing him (by cuddling or whatever works for you) until very sleepy and then patting / shushing / singing him off to sleep in his cot. If he starts fussing we pick him up again and start again. Eventually the aim is to wean him off help by us to go to sleep. We have done this in the past and are in the process of doing it again after a relapse because of teething / my husband being away / separation anxiety.... A couple of weeks ago we could not put him in the cot awake without him standing and screaming. Now we can put him down but still can't leave the room before he is asleep. It takes time and patience without leaving them to cry but it works. There is a similar method in book the no cry sleep solution but we just do what works for us.

  4. #4
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    What about taking one side off his cot and having it as a side cart to the main bed? You could settle him more easily (while still laying down yourself), but still have your own sleeping surfaces.

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    Thanks for the replies girls. As much as it sucks, and i wouldnt wish it upon anyone else im soooooooo glad im not the only one!

    Good luck Kitty with the books. Our bedtime used to be 11pm too..what a nightmare! SO glad its dropped back to 8.....Im pretty much the only one who puts him down, i dont mind though. DF just doesnt have the patience, if he cries (even if tired) DF will get him up.

    Bin thats what ive planned to start trying in a sense, havent read about it or anything but i know that putting him into the cot is the trigger for him waking so if we can avoid that, we should avoid the hassle. glad to hear that others have had some success with it.

    Bubbles, had thought of that but our bed is heaps higher. At the moment though, the head end of his cot, is next to my head and he always crawls to the end in his sleep, no matter which end of the cot his head is at, or which direction the cot is facing. (its only been moved twice since he came out of the basinette at 12wkss)

    The other night mum noticed he was in pain so we gave him panadol and she put him down for me (I was in tears after 90mins trying to resettle him)...he slept for 6.5hrs!!! We also had him back in his sleeping bag because it was cold, and soft music playing all night.

    Last night he was going 4hrs, no panadol, no sleeping bag (too hot) but had soft music playing all night and he was easier to resettle. I was able to change his bum while his bottle warmed, then feed him and have him back in his cot asleep within 10mins) Trying this again tonight.


 

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