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  1. #1
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    Default Am I over reacting??

    I recently feel pregnant, DH and I were over the moon. We already had a girls name picked out, just had to work on the boys. We told MIL the name we like...
    I miscarried at 9 weeks, I was devastated but realise that these things happen. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl (I had a feeling it was a boy), so we haven't named the baby I miscarried. We still want to use the girls name picked out. Everyone knows that.
    So I go to my MIL's house and she has a new cat. She calls the cat while we were there and she has named the cat the name we want to use for our future baby girl. THE SAME NAME! I nearly fell off my chair! I'm not impressed, at all. But am I over reacting?
    Thanks for your opinions!

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    Eek! No not okay. Not at all.

    Maybe lay it out black and white to her how deeply inappropriate it is. You lost a baby, her grand child, who was going to have that name. Even if you weren't planning to still use that girls name, it would still be so inappropriate!

    Who the heck does that?!?!

    Unless she feels she was honoring your loss in some way? So maybe start off by asking her why that name? And if that is the case tell her how it makes you feel and surely any person with a heart would change the name of their cat.

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    It's a cat, so she's not even limited to real names... she could call it hairdryer and it'd be fine... so I think I would be a bit annoyed.

    I would ask that your partner have a word with her... perhaps she didn't remember that it was the name you had picked, and just had it in hte back of her mind as a nice name.

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    This is awful. I would ask her why she chose that name for the cat then explain how upset you are.

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    Thats not nice at all of your MIL ,does she have a prob with you? I would ask her to change the name of her cat.

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    That's not cool. At all! Maybe she really wants a baby of her own? = D

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    That's really poor form IMO

    I think you have every right to be upset

    I find it bizarre that her as a mother couldn't see how hurtful this is to you

    I'm sorry for your loss

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  14. #8
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    No, she wouldn't have forgotten. I have no idea why she did it. She loves me, always says in her favourite DIL so no idea why she has done this. I told DH that we'll have to think of some new names. He said no, he doesn't seem to see a problem with his child and his mums cat having the same name!!! Men!!! :P

    She told DH that is had nothing to do with the miscarriage, she just thinks the name suits the cat. Sigh....

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    Firstly I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

    It is definitely inappropriate! I would be having a word, she had probably not thought it through or realised that it might distress you so on hearing your views, (I hope) she would give the cat a different name. If she does would you use the name for your future daughter still?

    ETA I wrote this before reading the above replies, I agree with what everyone has said and am amazed that this has even happened. It has put you in an awkward and weird situation.
    Last edited by Mrs Leto; 03-01-2012 at 16:44.

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  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edward View Post
    That's really poor form IMO

    I think you have every right to be upset

    I find it bizarre that her as a mother couldn't see how hurtful this is to you

    I'm sorry for your loss
    Thank you.

    I don't think she sees anything apart from her own little cocoon. Or aware of any one else's feelings apart from her own!


 

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