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  1. #11
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    OP the question is not specific enough. A mother was charged for neglegence causing death because she left her baby in the bath alone (her excuse was that the baby didnt want her in the bathroom) she was too busy playing on the internet or something and did it often and she was found guilty so was to blame. My child has fallen into a public swimming pool when I had walked over to a basket to get a floaty for her and her sister and I was preg and not thinking very well at the time , I made the decisssion that I was not mentally aware enough to watch out for them so stopped swimming lessons and driving for awhile but yeh I was to blame that she fell in the pool but it was not without reasons which I remedied , oh and she was fine by the way she trod water and I jumped in and pulled her out the minute I realised she was in the water. But yeh the Q does not contain enough detail to give a specific response. Sounds more like FB baiting.
    Last edited by lulu 2; 03-01-2012 at 16:30.

  2. #12
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    Really depends. And honestly regardless of who's 'fault' it is, short of obvious negligence or abuse I wouldn't lay blame to a parent. I'm sure it's the last thing they would have wanted to happen.

    P!sses me off when little people are hurt or die in obviously needless ways. Like the toddler left home alone who fell off the balcony window! (in that instance the toddler survived)

    But it did cross my mind on new years day just how quickly things could go badly when jasper slipped over in the pool, can't swim, was standing in only water to his chest but couldn't get his footing to get himself up. I flew the 4 meters to the pool, jumped in, grabbed him, no real drama he was under for 5 seconds tops. My uncle was in the pool with him and his children and didn't even notice anything had happened until jasper started screaming when I had him in my arms because drowning is silent.

    But I was watching him so there was no danger. But I can see how a moments distraction could be deadly for a small child in water. So I think it'd hard to blame someone for losing their child in circumstances that could happen to anyone.

  3. #13
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    Well...I think sometimes people who are caring for children need to consider their surroundings and work actively at preventing anything from happening.

    I get really frustrated when I hear of children who just walked into the pool area/across the road to the lake/on to the road and it results in injury. It's tragic and heartbreaking, but it could have been prevented with supervision and more consideration (such as fencing, gates, locks).

    I don't want to say the care giver is a fault, but a lot of situations are preventable and not really accidents at all...

    (Sorry if I offended anyone, but I have become a major helicopter parent as we live near water and have a pool right at our door...)

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Luna Lovegood For This Useful Post:

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  5. #14
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    I try not to blame people for accidents. I think we are asking a lot of people to expect that they are able to prevent accidents. Humans make mistakes. Humans can't be perfect. We all try, but the last thing we need is to have more guilt and blame placed upon us if something horrible happens.

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    SugarSkull  (03-01-2012)

  7. #15
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Accidents happen and even mothers are not infallible.

  8. #16
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    I think I know the status you're talking about.
    I don't really know how to answer this one...I think that if it's because the carer was irresponsible and not watching/left the pool gate open or something like that, then yes. That's not to say they wanted it to happen or anything, accidents are still accidents...but in the same way that if you were driving drunk or didn't do your child's seat belt up then yeah, technically it is your fault.
    I think it depends on the circumstances and whether the accident should/could have been prevented by common sense eg: leaving a pool gate open.

    What a terrible weight to bear, in any case.

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    I wonder why father's are never considered in these tragedies...

    Anyway, I don't think you can generalise in these situations. Sometimes a stupid mistake is made and bad stuff happens as a result... and in those situations, I don't think placing blame has any point.

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    A dilemma I often have comes to mind reading that - if my daughter goes to her father's and I know that he is less strict/lazy with supervision - if something happens, is it my fault for "letting" her go?

    From past threads on this forum I suspect many of you would say yes, you shouldn't have let her go.

  12. #19
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    You have no real choice but to let her go to her fathers, would he be any different if he lived with you? I know many lazy fathers the mum's still leave kids alone with them as the man is their father whether he lives in the home or not. If they call you neglectful then there are A LOT of those mums in Australia who leave children with lazy husbands/fathers

    And Vis virsa for lazy mothers and dotting dads

  13. #20
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    I think there are accidents, and accidents waiting to happen. If you know something is unsafe but take no steps to fix/resolve it, then yes. I think that the caregiver has to take some blame. Things like people have said above - wedging gates open (especially around pools), knowing your child can open the front door and get out into traffic and not keeping it locked or putting a higher lock on it etc. To me, those sorts of things aren't accidents. Tragedies yes, but not accidents.

    In the case of a true accident where you have done everything you can to ensure your child's safety and something still happens? Then no. The caregiver is not to blame. But I bet they would blame themselves anyway with the "if only's". I know I would.

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