I am no stranger to individual counseling, but do not have much experience with couples counseling, so I am after some advice from those of you who have attended with your DPs/Ex-DPs.
A little background history:
During the last two years, My DP and I have gone through some really tough times, which I believe contributed to me developing severe PND. We are now both on antidepressants which has helped immensely, but are still not out of the woods.
My DP is a very, very private person and really reluctant to share our personal affairs with others, whereas I am the polar opposite. I really find it useful to share things with others, particularly an objective third party.
I did get him to come to two couple counseling sessions during my pregnancy, but it was so exhausting for me, as I was severely depressed and always had spend so much energy getting DP to come with me. We also had to bring our toddler along, which was really distracting. In my opinion the counselor was not the most competent and we did not get remotely close to talking about the issues at hand. For example, I had AND and my DP was quite emotionally abusive at the time, which was never discussed (although I tried)
I am reaching a point in our relationship where I do not want to endure more heartache. Surely it is not supposed to be this hard? It feels like I am carrying a lot on my own two shoulders, and unless he is willing to work on our issues, I don’t think I have the strength to carry on like this. Sometimes I wish I could leave and create some space between us (even if it is only temporary) but I am not a permanent resident and am required to live with him until I get my residency.
Anyways, I would love some feedback from the ones of you who have attended couple counseling. Was it useful to you? If not; why not?
And what strategies did you take way from the experience that my DP and I may implement on our own, if he is reluctant to go?
Any feedback is much appreciated!