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  1. #1
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    Default Gifted children

    Hi,

    My Son is 5 and a half and has special needs of a different kind and was hoping i could find mothers here that are going through the same thing.

    R is labelled a "gifted child" he has been tested by child physcologists and given a high IQ. Many think that this is a brilliant thing....which in one aspect is but it is also a double edged sword which not many people realise.

    A lot of "gifted children" can suffer from mental illness as their brain works to fast for their age. They over think things and as a result can develop high anxiety. They need to be parented in a different way which can be challenging.

    They develop things called over excitabilites, there are 5 of them and can be veiwed as mis behaviour but its just because of ther mind and the way in which it works.

    He has a 9/10 year olds mine trapped inside a 5 year olds body.

    I would love to know if anyone else here had a child like our R so i had someone who understands.

    Thanks

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    No I don't have that problem but I do wish you luck. I've heard it can be very challenging to raise gifted children. May he be a mastermind of amazing things in the future.

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  4. #3
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    bgbgbb is offline To think, I was only going to have 1 child!
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    My #2 was tested with a high IQ and has many of those excitabilities you mentioned (not surplus energy, that is left to her ADHD brother!) Her overreaction to things emotionally can drive me batty and she was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder a few years ago, which has also had its ups and downs. She's now finished grade 1 and has topped the class easily (well, except in sport, ha,ha).

    Whilst I'm so proud of her achievements and know that she will be successful in any career she chooses, I do have to walk on eggshells a little as she does overreact to any criticism (does it at school as well), which can make it hard for her to maintain friends. Her constant questioning of EVERYTHING can also be exhausting, but I try my best. We live for BBC & David Attenborough documentaries!

    I'm suspecting #4 (also a girl) also has a very high IQ, although she's so much more confident and couldn't give a toss what other's think about her, so she might be losing friends for the opposite reason to her sister.

    We're still battling our way through this new minefield in our children's lives, but rest assured, you are not alone!
    Last edited by bgbgbb; 08-01-2012 at 14:56.

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    I do not have a gifted child (dd2 is very smart, but I don't think she'd be classed as 'gifted'). I did, however, have a friend who is considered gifted. He is a man who in his 40's and for him it's been a struggle. He is depressed because he cannot be understood by a lot of people, yet he feels he understands things of the world that most of us are ignorant to. He became a recluse a long time ago and unfortunately we lost touch. For him it was difficult as they didn't know much about how to deal with someone like himself while he was growing up. Thankfully these days we understand it more and are able to offer support to both child and family.

    I feel for your boy. Being gifted can be a curse as much as a blessing. I feel for you too, as trying to help him through his maze of thoughts an emotions will be a hard trek at times. I'm sorry I have no solid advice. Just wanted to give you a :hug:

    Are there support groups or something similar you've been in touch with? As a mother of a child with Aspergers I understand how much being around people who understand helps. My daughter also loves the interaction with kids that are on her level.

    I hope you find people in similar circumstances and can share your journey.

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    We're getting our daughter tested officially this year. We know something is different; the way she speaks isn't the voice or thoughts of a five year old.

    We visited the maternal health nurse last year and she reads at a grade 5/6 level, I learned to read aloud at age four, my parents are big readers, so no surprise there to me, but the nurse said get her IQ tested before she starts school.

    I know there are groups for gifted children, I went to one very briefly as a teenager {I was tested in Year 7 with a 148 IQ level}, but I don't know how young they accept them in.
    I'll have a look around and see if I can find something, I'll even give Mum a call and ask where she sent me.

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    bgbgbb is offline To think, I was only going to have 1 child!
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    Wow, Toughlove, 148 is impressive! I got tested at 132 and like my daughter, suffered a lot because of my differences in school (I was always 2-3 years above my peers in primary school). I accelerated quickly but when I got to HSC I was too young to deal with the emotional impact of it all and nearly failed! Fortunately I managed to qualify successfully as an adult, loving the challenge and learning more than anything. I'd love to speak with someone who can give me daughter direction so it doesn't get too much for her as she gets older.

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    I grew up on the central coast and went to a special 'opportunity class'... but that was only for years 5/6.. i don't know of any programs for younger kids? And there are high schools for gifted kids as well, although i still never felt like i fitted in there either, i think i was just an awkward teen tho lol!

    I never considered myself gifted though, i was smart yes,but not a genious. My best friend through primary school was a genious though! And he did get very anxious over mid year exams etc, to the point where he would vomit etc because he would work himself up so much

    The only suggestion i have is lots if extra-curricula activities to stimulate the brain, i used to go to art classes etc, play games like chess, as well as play a lot of sport, which i think helped develop my coordination and social skills to make me a somewhat well adjusted adult lol. Sport also requires thinking within a team etc which i also think is beneficial

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    I tested at 143 and was sent to gifted children's programs which are highlights of my schooling, being challenged was novel and comparing myself to other gifted children humbled me. Research these programs for your kids, they're worth every dollar.

    I struggled in main****** school, teachers either loved me or hated me, I got bored easily and found being given a loose assignment, creative freedom and the tools to complete it was ideal, many teachers struggled with this and I struggled with mundane repetition of things I grasped much earlier... Around 9 I got very bored (same time my gifted children's retreats stopped due to us moving) and became a problem student who was defiant, aggressive and unpleasant. I was frustrated. It wasn't until the school system matured in prep for uni that I became interested again.

    It definitely isn't an entirely wonderful thing and the drawbacks can be horrible for all involved.

    I personally would make a big effort to ensure your child is stimulated and in an appropriate learning environment for them.

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    Oh blissedouts post made me think i should add that the late primary school/high school programs were all through public schools, didn't cost mum and dad a cent

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    Quote Originally Posted by bgbgbb View Post
    Wow, Toughlove, 148 is impressive! I got tested at 132 and like my daughter, suffered a lot because of my differences in school (I was always 2-3 years above my peers in primary school). I accelerated quickly but when I got to HSC I was too young to deal with the emotional impact of it all and nearly failed! Fortunately I managed to qualify successfully as an adult, loving the challenge and learning more than anything. I'd love to speak with someone who can give me daughter direction so it doesn't get too much for her as she gets older.
    The thing that annoyed me most, and which I was constantly told, was "You should be doing better, look how smart you are" Or "Why did you do that? Look how smart you are" "You should be looking into big career options, look how smart you are"

    It is absolutely the worst thing to tell a kid that is already struggling with themselves.
    The mind may be a buzzing hive of information and thoughts and processes, but the biology is of a child that just wants to be a child.

    The best interaction I ever got was from my high school English teacher. My mum wanted me to do a Literature course that was offered by the University, this was ont op of the three extra classes I was already doing.
    I didn't want to, and the final decision rested on my English teacher. If he said no, she isn't ready, the school wouldn't bother with it and my mum would let it rest.
    He called me into his office and asked me what I wanted. I said the usual spiel, I want to get a good score, go to University, get a good job, this class would be great. Then he stopped me and said "No, I mean what do you want. What would you do if it was up to you?"
    I started talking again and then I just broke down. I didn't want to get a high score on anything or go to University or get a degree or write a novel or anything. What I really wanted of was a nice house and 10 children and learning to sew, but I'd never been given the chance to want it.

    My entire life it was "All options are open to you because you're smart" but what that really meant was I only had one option, and that was: you must succeed. You must be the best.

    An A instead of an A+? Haven't lived to my potential.
    Only two extra classes? Failing my future.
    Not wanting to be a lawyer? But you're so smart!

    My best advice is do not pressure. Everyone around her is going to be doing it. Let her find her true potential by not forcing her to find it.

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