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  1. #21
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    I am a bit emotionally spent at the moment myself so all I can do is offer you this and this .

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to funnymama For This Useful Post:

    FloatingFairy  (03-01-2012)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by punky View Post
    DH actually suggested counselling, hopefully we will do that ASAP.

    I know that we can get through this, I just hope he can see that too.
    Take the counselling suggestion as a positive, he is thinking about how to solve the problem.

    Punky can you get him to sit down and talk with you? It is doing neither of you any good if you cant talk about what he is feeling. Yes it will be difficult but you can also help him focus on all the good things about your relationship and new bubba so he can see that you can get through this.

    Take care.

  4. #23
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    ...
    Last edited by FloatingFairy; 21-02-2012 at 09:34.

  5. #24
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    Loving6, your relationship sounds lovely, I hope we can end up like that.

    Shannanigons, I hope you guys can get that spark back.

    I finally got a text this morning telling me where he is and that he will be back tomorrow. He has also arranged counseling.

    It is do hard to not feel angry. Trying my best not I send him a spiteful text because I know I will regret it.

    I'm so thankful for my bub at the moment, he is being lovely and I can't help but smile and laugh with him.

  6. #25
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    Don't have any advice, but just wanted to say what a great job you have done with your approach to this. I wish you and your husband the best

  7. #26
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    I think I already know what most of you will think about this but I have to get this out there. DH has been going to counselling to see if he can work out why he feels the way he does. Depending on how that goes we will then go to couples counselling.

    I found out last week that he has been using online dating and chatting to women online...I caught him out by pretending to be one of them. He has done this in the past and he knows how I feel about it, I didn't like it but I'm a pretty open girl and was ok about it as long as it wasn't hidden and he was honest.

    I just feel that this is a big contributor to our relationship troubles. I cannot live up to photoshopped women and online fantasy. I don't know what to do.

    I have no family or close friends here, I'm on mat leave, I can't get child are even if I did need to go back to work to earn an income.

    I love DH and I know he hasn't physically cheated. But when he stays up till 2am doing this and then sleeps in while im dealing with a baby that hates sleeping, I'm beginning to feel a little resentful. Maybe I've been a doormat? I guess I probably knew deep down this was going on the whole time. I just don't know. Aaaggh men!

    Any ideas? Anyone been here before?

  8. #27
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    Wow.....

    Um. Are you really ok with your partner feilding his options with other women on internet dating sites untill 2am Punky? Honestly???

    If you are then i question your self esteem. I say this with kindness and not judgement hey

    It's a sad, sad situation to find yourself saying ok when your partner is showing you that he's looking for something better and you're trying to go with it.

    Have things allways been like this?

  9. #28
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    Thanks for your honesty Laurea. To be honest with myself, no I'm not ok with it. I guess it has just taken a while for me to realise how much it actually affects me.

    It hasn't always been this way. It's been a few years and I guess I've just blocked it out. I'm pretty sure it's a just bit of entertainment for him, that is no excuse though. I don't feel like this should be a reason to end our marriage, but maybe this should be a wake up call to me.

  10. #29
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    I know a lot of women who would see it as an end to their marriage to be honest. But i guess it depends on what your idea of marriage is. And what your expectations were from the outset.

    Is this what you signed up for on your wedding day?

    To me it's you and your DH against the world, you love and support each other. I can't understand where bringing random women from the internet comes into a healthy, happy marriage

    I am trying to understand but no matter which way i look at it i can't find a way to feel like you are being treated well under these circumstances.

    Are you sure nothing has happened with anyone he has spoken with on line?
    Regardless every action starts with a thought, then intention then action.
    Your DH is allready acting on his desire to be intimate with other women whether that be emotionally or physically. It could easily be more than just talking.

    Are you even privy to all he is saying and doing with these women??

    My god what am i saying. How can you be ok with any of this??!

    How can you possibly have intimacy with your husband when he's spending hours on end looking elsewhere for it?

    I don't get it

    And, ok what if you started doing the same thing? You know whats good for the goose and all of that.. What does your marriage become then? Two adults with children dating other people?? That's hardly a marriage.

    If you could wave a magic wand and have things the way you would like them to be ideally what would your marriage look like?

    Would it be the image of what's happening right now?
    Last edited by laurea; 25-01-2012 at 12:28.

  11. #30
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    Hi Punky,
    I have just sent you (a really really stupidly long) pm.


 

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