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  1. #21
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    I like your text. It's not rude, but explains your point and you can then leave it upto her to contact you.

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    laurea  (02-01-2012)

  3. #22
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    I'd send the txt.

  4. #23
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    First of all hugs. I think your text is good, you then can feel good that you've got how you feel about it all down and communicated it to her. Hopefully you get the outcome you want.


    Sent from my iPad so pardon the errors!

  5. #24
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    I think you should send the text too.

  6. #25
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    The text sounds perfect and would be constructive if she were able to take it on board and not turn it into another crisis

    But from your desciption of her beahviour- wowser. I have known people like this and your frustration and depairing of it is palpable and honestly a very normal response.

    There is never really any resolution with people like this either is there?

    You pretty much have to just learn a way of dealing with them that akin to damage control~
    You end up having to keep things to a minimum and not really talk too deeply about things- keep it very simple in other words.

    And no matter what, you know what she is like so you need to chose to not buy into it anymore, you have seen how well that has worked in the past.

    Sadly it does sound like you have had to parent your mother and still are to a degree.

    I commend you for drawing the line at her bringing the same drama you have had to cope with into the lives of your children. You might not have had a say with her being how she was growing up but you have every right to protect your children from if she can't respect you as a mother then she can rant and rave all she likes- long distance

  7. #26
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    hi chloeandme, what a horrible way to start the new year, you poor thing

    sorry i haven't read all the replies but i just want to say that your mother sounds EXACTLY like mine. emotional outbursts and lashing out unfairly which stems from her own unresolved issues and possibly insecurity.

    the only way i have found to deal with it is to stop apologising (because you have nothing to apologise for, these are HER issues, not yours) and to set boundaries and keep your distance, e.g. see her only once a week, or once a fortnight, make certain topics off-limits (e.g. if she starts talking about something and you suspect she's working herself up to an outburst or a fight with you, then change the subject or leave), also if she offers to do things (e.g. pick up a cake, babysit) then be very careful about accepting as my mother often uses these things as ammunition later on.

    sorry i know this sounds harsh and i hope i haven't offended you at all, as i said i haven't read all of the replies but i have a mother with similar issues and the things above have helped me. all the best xx

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    laurea  (05-01-2012)

  9. #27
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    Excellent advice aquarius- sadly it does sound like you are quite seasoned at dealing with this kind of thing too. It's so hard to deal with people like this

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    aquarius  (05-01-2012)

  11. #28
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    Don't call and make up with her.

    She is emotionally abusive and you need to either cut ties completely or inform her that you are feeling abused, and will cut all ties unless you agrees to counselling.
    She is taking advantage of your submissive state when she's verbally abused you, and is testing the waters for physical abuse by standing over you and physically challenging you to force her away.

    She might not be aware of this, but she's doing it and it will only end badly the longer it goes on.

    Think of it in the same way as you would if your husband/boyfriend was treating you this way.

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    laurea  (06-01-2012)

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    Massive Hugs xxx

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    Quote Originally Posted by laurea View Post
    Excellent advice aquarius- sadly it does sound like you are quite seasoned at dealing with this kind of thing too. It's so hard to deal with people like this
    thank you, yes it is hard eh, good thing we can come on here and get support

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