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  1. #21
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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  3. #22
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    hugs!!!!!!

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    funnymama  (01-01-2012)

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    How are you feeling today hun? Did manage to get some sleep?
    We are all here for you if you need to talk. Feel free to PM me and you can vent your heart out
    Hope you have a good day.

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    Hugs for you in this horrible situation.
    My advice keep the phone & write down everything while it's still fresh. You never know when you will need the info!!!

    If it was me I'd make sure her hubby knew but I'm a bisch, lol

    Other than that just concentrate on getting thru each day as it comes!

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    funnymama  (01-01-2012)

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    So many hugs xxxx

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  15. #28
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    How are you feeling this morning Funnymama?

    I wanted to come back and reply properly...I have been in a similar situation, and to say that it sucks is an understatement. No-one should have to suffer through such grief while pregnant - and that's just what it is: grief. When my counsellor told me that, I was surprised because I assumed grief was just for those who had experienced the death of a loved one. However, the death of a relationship can see you experiencing these stages as well, especially when it comes out of nowhere.

    In the beginning, I was swinging from denial to anger and back again, for a long time. I found that the best way of coping was:
    a) A strong support network. Family, friends, and online buddies.
    b) A good counsellor. You are entitled to six subsidised counselling sessions per year (I believe you can attend a further four (?) sessions after a re-evaluation from your GP). The first thing you need to do is get a mental health plan done up by your GP, which allows for the subsidised sessions. Once you see your psych with the plan, you only have to pay the difference for sessions. There are psychologists out there who specialise in counselling pregnant women - I saw one such counsellor, and she was fantastic.
    c) Take each day as it comes. Cliche, I know. But it's true. Don't try and look into the future, and worry about being a single Mum. Just take each day as it comes.
    d) Organise a support person for your labour. If you don't have a close family or friend who can support you, it might be a good idea to look into getting a doula. If you can't afford a doula, see if there are student doulas in the area who can assist. Organise someone to look after your little boy when you go into labour.
    e) Don't be afraid to ask for help after your baby is born. Looking after a little one is hard enough without a newborn in the picture, especially alone. If people offer to cook you meals, take it
    f) Know that you will be happy again. It might not be next week or next month, but it will happen

    At some point it might be a good idea to look into the practicalities of the situation. You don't have to read this paragraph immediaetly - maybe wait a few days if you are not feeling up to it (skip to the next bit). So...the practical side of things:
    • Ring centrelink and organise an appointment with a social worker, to see what benefits you are entitled to (i.e.: single parenting payment)
    • Ring CSA (child support Australia) to get the ball rolling for payments from your ex.
    • Last but not least, it's often a good idea to contact FDR (family dispute resolution) for mediation, to get some orders drawn up regarding visitation. This might seem a little full on, but it can be reassuring to have something set in stone, as relationships with exes don't always remain amicable, especially with little ones involved. PM me if you want any assistance with the above, it can be very overwhelming to begin with.
    I'm so very sorry to hear that yet another woman is in this heartbreaking situation Honestly, if there is anything you need, or if you need someone to vent to, cry to, or anything, just PM me

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  17. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Organise a support person for your labour. If you don't have a close family or friend who can support you, it might be a good idea to look into getting a doula. If you can't afford a doula, see if there are student doulas in the area who can assist.
    I don't know what to say, all I can offer is & that I'm angry for you.

    I do know a lovely student doula in western sydney if you're interested though - let me know if you'd like to make contact with her.
    Last edited by becandabub; 01-01-2012 at 10:36.

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    funnymama  (01-01-2012)

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    I'm so sorry. I couldn't read and not reply.

    I hope you got a good nights sleep at the least. WW gave you some great advice above.

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    funnymama  (01-01-2012)


 

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