Last edited by AndrewTheEmu; 20-03-2012 at 14:24. Reason: privacy
Jeez I am so grateful for my dh. I'd divorce a jerk like that. What's the point if his only use is paying the bills?
Hugs for you! Will he do relationship counseling?
You'll have to excuse the iPhone auto correct. It sax!
He sounds alot like my ex. I use to work nights, 6pm-7am as well as every second weekend. He worked normal fulltime hours. In his eyes i was still responsible for all the housework, ensuring he had clean work clothes, everthing for the kids because i only worked nights. He didn't care at all how hard it was for me.
He was useless with the kids. His idea of looking after them was to sit down with a drink and play video games all night while they entertained themselves. I even got a phone call at work one night saying that DS was missing. It turned out the ex had fallen asleep and DS had gone down to sleep beside him, yet stupid ex didn't relise.
He wouldn't even help out with the kids in the morning. I got home from work in a chronically sleep deprived state and had to get them out of bed, do breakfast, get them ready for school/daycare.
It so wasn't worth the stress! Being sleep deprived is an absolute horrible feeling. I think you were doing the right thing when you went to leave. If there is any decency in the guy he will relise how horrible he has been treating you and want to change. Maybe leaving will make him appreciate what he had?
Maybe if you sit down and write a chores list with him.
For example on Sat you sleep in and on Sun he sleeps in.
Then maybe tell him that after dinner he does dishes but you cook or something along those lines.
Will he turn it into an arguement?
*Dear iPhone, stop autocorrecting all my swear words you piece of shut.
DYAC...go to he'll*
I would either leave, or get him to. Whatever is easier on you and the kids. Then do some counselling together and hopefully he will see the error of his ways and become a partner in your relationship and parent to your children. But I think he needs a wake-up call, which is why I'm saying leave for a while.
Urgh! You poor thing. You sound utterly frustrated and fed up and rightly so.
His behavior is revolting. I know it's easy for us to say 'leave', but..... leave!
Why don't you?
be careful deciding to leave for awhile ... when I was going through relationship counselling my therapist (we were having ind appointments as well as together ones) mentioned that she has seen this backfire .. females walking away (with kids) expecting that the partner will miss them and want back in, but often the male discovers his bachelor lifestyle and barely WANTS to see the kids/ ex at all .. so tread carefully - only walk away (even for a short break) IF you can handle the fact that it MIGHT be a permanent arrangement.. (make sense??)
I do feel your pain - I could have written much of your post myself, I'm juggling two kids and three part time jobs .. while he works one part time job .. yet he is up till late playing his computer games (with his online mates .. who he CANT NOT let down or disappoint) .. but then he sleeps during the day to catch up on the sleep because HE (not us .. HE ) is on holidays
GAH .. and its not worth me getting angry either .. because he LETS me sleep ( I had a nap yesterday ) ... but the difference is .. while he slept today, I did three loads of washing, did the dishwasher, cleaned out two drawers entertained the kids, made the kids clean their room etc etc .. while I slept yesterday the kids played the wii and he played the computer ( I swear he only lets me sleep so that I dont give him jobs to do )
anyyyway .. just letting you know that I feel your pain its not easy .. its not easy to be single .. and its not easy to be in a relationship .. both are hard work, just different work ..
I feel grateful for my DH as well reading these threads. He's slack with the housework, but he works, studies and does heaps with the kids.
You are both working almost the same hours, but you are doing evening work which really stuffs up your body clock. I worked at a pub a couple of years back and the late shifts then getting up to kids, dealing with the all day really took it's toll.
I would spell it out to him - same working hours yet you do everything... how is that fair. You should be married to an adult, not another child
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