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  1. #11
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    My EX MIL would separate from her son

    My current MIL was desperate to be let in as her ds doesn't like her, I had helped but then she started on me and I refused to take it so now I don't bother and she is barely involved again

  2. #12
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    i love my MIL to bits, but on occasions we are not on the same page. She is fijian and has hence been raised in an entirely different culture and with an entirely different upbringing to me. but at the end of the day she means well, we don't fight and we both love her son

  3. #13
    Sparklydreamer's Avatar
    Sparklydreamer is offline I might lack sleep, but I can dream...
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    I really wanted to love my MIL and be one big happy family. And I tried so hard. And thought we got along great until DH told me she hated my guts, has done from the start and told him she wants him to leave me and move back in with her.

    And ever since then its been in the open that she hates me, blames me for her son moving out and she won't call our house, or visit while i'm here. And she won't give our children gifts.

    My Dh had been like a surrogate partner to her, the more I find out its frickin inappapropriate, and she was jealous when I came along and he moved out and I was destined to be disliked unfortunately.

  4. #14
    Mrs Molly Coddle's Avatar
    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    is there a power struggling in your dil/mil relationship?

    do you instantly have a problem with what your mil does/says regarding your husband/relationship/children?

    why is it this way? is it the mil refusing to let go of the control she had over her son? is it a natural type of thing? someone wanting to be the alpha etc?

    hmm
    Yes I do instantly have a problem. Even if she does something my own mother would do (and it wouldn't bother me), I have a problem. I look for reasons to hate her.
    TBH, I think it's because I feel guilty for taking her only son away from her.
    I know deep down she is a good person, but she doesn't always show it. I used to cringe at how she treated my kids. I still do and I need to constantly remind myself that her heart is in the right place. It is haaaard though

  5. #15
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    My MIL will never be happy unless I agree with her on everything and tell her she is right etc. when we got engaged she was against it. When we announced we were expecting DS1 her and her husband sat us down and told us to expect to get divorced in the next few years. her response to us announcing we were expecting #2 was 'oh another one' and to this day she still pretty much ignores DS2 (he is 17 months old)

    My DH cant stand his family. Until recently I pushed him and bugged him to go see them, call them etc. he refuses. I have since stopped pushing him to after some of the horribke things MIL has said to him about me.

    She has said to us more than once 'when you get divorced' not if etc, WHEN. She is a pot smoker and I do not want drugs around my children, not to mention they refuse to respect my wishes about no one smoking cigarettes around my children.

    I tried for 7 years to please the woman, in the last year I have just giveb up because it became clear nothing was ever going to be good enough.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  6. #16
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    I've definitely got friends who look down on their partners families as if they're below them and I find it quite sad.

    I'm a huge believer in treating both families the same ie I'm pregnant and when we announced we told my parents at exactly the same time we told his. When we go into labour we will call both mothers and let them know. Both of our mothers have strained relationships with their own mil - not their fault in either case. As a result my mum sometimes forgets that we have and want to maintain a good mil/dil relationship and mil sometimes holds back when she thinks she might intrude on mother/daughter stuff which saddens me a little (but this also isn't helped by BIL wife who does not treat the families at all the same).

    So i think it can be the case but either it's not in my case or mil has long since thrown in the towel and handed over the reigns.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I get irritated when my MIL infers that I'm not as good at looking after her son as I am. Or when she goes on and on about him as if she's the only one who knows him - but she talks about how he was when he was 6 as if that's exactly how he is today. I'm sure some of him remains the same (his stubborness), but he's still grown up a lot since then!
    Yes this!!!... But it's his Nanna not so much his mum... Even on Christmas day I got a comment of ' don't u forget I've known him longer than you'...umm okay I didn't realize it was a competition? We have lived together for over 7 years now to so its not like I'm a new comer... But she gets so frustrating cos it's always comments that mean I know him and can look after him better than you!!



    Me and he = DD 18 months and belly bub ( May2012)

  8. #18
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    We don't argue at all but I don't agree with a LOT that she does. She has always favored her SIL over DH and now SIL's SD over DD. I hate it!!!!

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I love her, but I freakin' hated her at times. I'm fairly certain she feels exactly the same way about me.

    I have to keep coming back to the thing we have in common, even after nearly fifteen years - we both love the same man. She was his mother and I'm his wife - respect.
    So true. It's time to let go, move on and respect. My fiancé, soon to be wife, she feels because her mum, my mil has separated, has no partner, that she has to fill tht spot. She feels that as tho on Xmas morning she has to wake up at her mothers house, cuz she will be alone. I tried to explain that someday all kids grow up have their own house and move away. She feels like she has to spend new years up at a caravan with her mum cuz she won't have anyone on new years. I can see that my mil is alone, and by her self, but my fiancé should ditch me cuz of it.... Right. She says that she won't have her mum forever and she won't live forever but I say to her " well r u just going to put me first when something happens to your mm" ..... Arghhhhh and yes ..... All MIL think that their daughters,sons, can do no wrong, and always stick up for them. ... Wouldn't it be nice to have a mother in law who takes your side not theirs lol

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    My MIL will never be happy unless I agree with her on everything and tell her she is right etc. when we got engaged she was against it. When we announced we were expecting DS1 her and her husband sat us down and told us to expect to get divorced in the next few years. her response to us announcing we were expecting #2 was 'oh another one' and to this day she still pretty much ignores DS2 (he is 17 months old)

    My DH cant stand his family. Until recently I pushed him and bugged him to go see them, call them etc. he refuses. I have since stopped pushing him to after some of the horribke things MIL has said to him about me.

    She has said to us more than once 'when you get divorced' not if etc, WHEN. She is a pot smoker and I do not want drugs around my children, not to mention they refuse to respect my wishes about no one smoking cigarettes around my children.

    I tried for 7 years to please the woman, in the last year I have just giveb up because it became clear nothing was ever going to be good enough.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    At least ur partner doesn't agree with it and can't stand them .... My partners family is the same, and my partner tells me to suck it up, and that blood is thicker than water and agrees with them.


 

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