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  1. #1
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    Default People's reactions to you pregnancy?

    Hi, I am currently 5 weeks pregnant, and even though it's early on I have told my best friend about the news. To say she was negative was an understatement.. I already have 3 boys, 11, 6 and 3. My 6 yr old was diagnosed with aspergers in December 2010, so I have had ongoing therapy sessions with him. My ex husband and I separated in February, 2010 and this baby is my new partners 1st baby. I have 2 dads already for my 3 children and am well aware of the comments that will be made by people in general that I have 4 kids to 3 different dads. What I didn't expect was for my best friend to tell me the worse thing I could do was have this baby, as I can't handle the 3 I already have!!! I was really hurt by this statement and feel that our relationship is damaged...

  2. #2
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    That's crap.

    People felt totally at ease when I was pregnant with jasper to ask me if he was planned, if I was happy and if his father was still with me. When I'd say he was they'd do this super patronizing 'that's nice' - like he was doing me some big favour. Never mind we'd lived together for over a year...

    People are incredibly thoughtless sometimes.

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    Your "friend" is out of line. Question though, is she trying to get pregnant and having trouble? I only ask this because a person I know had the same reaction to someone pregnancy and it wasnt that she wasnt happy just that she was hurt that she had kids and falls pregnant so easy and the other didnt. I am not trying to justify what she has said. Maybe talk to her. Ask her why she said such a horrible thing. Without talking to her I would think your relationship will never be the same.

    Secondly it is nobodys business which child has the same father and which doesnt. Life deals different paths for everyone and no one should be judging you on you choices. I am sure if you terminated the pregnancies so you only had children with the same dad you would be a b!tch for that too. So ignore them

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  6. #4
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    No she is happily married, has 2 children that she planned to have after getting married.. I sometimes feel that she thinks she is better than me cause I am not married, own a house of been with my partner for 5+ years....

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    I had people tell me I would raise the baby alone. Yep, I am well aware of my relationship status, and the fact it was not about to change any time soon.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kele80 View Post
    No she is happily married, has 2 children that she planned to have after getting married.. I sometimes feel that she thinks she is better than me cause I am not married, own a house of been with my partner for 5+ years....
    In that case it sounds like she was being a b!tch. I would refain from telling her anything about bellybubba again. If shes not happy for you then she doesnt deserve to be a part of this amazing baby growing inside Every relationship, pregnancy, life choice etc is different and should not be compaired. I have a dd with ASD and I can tell you now until you have a child with asd you can not judge a person on how well they cope with their child/children. People only see a snippet of your day. Maybe a great visit maybe a feral one, but it is not an indication of your skills

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  10. #7
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    Sometimes women who have the stereotypical perfect life (marriage to one man only, house, 2 children, and let me guess, maybe a dog and two cars etc etc :P) Seem to think that anyone who falls outside of this catergory or isnt in the "perfect picture" is that way because they decided to be, or dont deserve it, and therefor dont deserve happiness. Not all people, just some. Stuff her. Be happy for yourself and find better friends

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    A friend I went to school with has 4 children to 4 different dads, the youngest is 10 months, and is now with a different man. However, she is a fantastic mum. Cannot fault her! Just because the children don't all have the same father it doesn't mean they aren't well cared for, loved and wanted... Your "friend" is an idiot.

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  14. #9
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    Your friend was way out of line, don't let her reaction rain on your parade, a baby is wonderful news. Congratulations on your BFP

    I got a few negative comments but I knew they were coming, so I told them first to get it out of the way and then made sure I had someone to tell straight after to bring me back up. My MIL just didn't comment and then was ok. My mum said "oh no" and my nan asked "how did that happen?" Then I told my BFF who jumped up and down with excitement for me.

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  16. #10
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    i would be asking what she based this comment on had to have come from somewhere needs to get sorted out


 

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