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  1. #1
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    Default How to help a child with separation anxiety

    My daughter will be meeting her bio father for the first time at the end of feb. she will be 15 months. This will be at a contact center. She has separation anxiety and has never been away from either myself or my husband. Any ideas on how to make this contact a little less stressful for her? She has a few health issues and never took to a comfort toy or dummy. I am not allowed with her during the visit.

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    Why can't you be with her???

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    I cant believe they wont let you in the room with her !!!
    That is so unfair.
    Surely if you let the father know that she gets sep anxiety, he will let you come in if she gets upset ?

    To get her ready I guess you might need to let some people mind her ( while you are still in your house) for a bit at a time.
    Different people like a grandparent, a friend, a sister, a brother of yours, just to get her used to the fact that if you leave her in a room you will return.

    I think it sucks though that you and her are being put in that situation.

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    I've tried many times to have family she knows very well watch her but it's been the same since 8 months old. She screams the whole time I'm gone. From 5 mins to 2 hrs. I'm always getting phone calls to go get her. I know it dosnt help that she's breastfeed. I don't know how to help her and it upsets me.
    And the reason I'm not allowed in with her is the contact center won't allow it because it's HIS time with her.

  5. #5
    Nmgb's Avatar
    Nmgb is offline No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm ♡
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    Surely if you explain the situation they should let you try and ease her into it. He's a stranger to her... Sorry I have no advice. Just hope it's not too traumatic for her, or you

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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Wow that sounds absolutely ridiculous! I thought the childs best interests were always put first? If I were you I'd be cancellling the whole thing until it was arranged so that you were sure that your daughter was happy and relaxed throughout the whole senario.

    Is this some kind of court ordered visit? Are they aware that this will be the very first time your daughter meets her biodad? I'd be talking to as many OTHER people about this issue at the contact centre or whatever as it takes to get someone sensible, just keep climbing the ladder of management. I'd also put a strenuous complaint in writing about it, and try to get some supporting evidence such as from a GP or something...

    It is NOT FAIR for them to put your child in this position. Separation anxiety can be at a peak at this age, she needs you or your husband to be there, fullstop.
    Last edited by MilkingMaid; 28-12-2011 at 23:59.

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    Thank you. The plan which he refused to sign was partly agreed between us. But I was not aware at the time of the centers rules.
    I will be making more inquiries before then and try to get to her pediatrician to get a supporting letter.
    After that I have to try to get around the fact he is pushing for over night when she turns 2. Which I have refused as, if it goes as agreed he would have spent less than 12 hrs in supervised contact with her. We live 3 hrs apart.
    Damn stress. He has no interest in doin what's right for her. It's been that way from the second he knew I was pregnant. We split when I was 7 weeks preg.


 

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