Closed Thread
Page 7 of 8 FirstFirst ... 5678 LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 75
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Queensland, Australia
    Posts
    9,135
    Thanks
    3,609
    Thanked
    2,361
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    My advice/opinion is probably going against the grain but too bad.

    You say you love her, so do the right thing. If you love her (truly) then you'll agree that she deserves the best right? You simply can't give her that in my opinion, and you've already had enough chances. I also don't think there is such a thing as "making up" for what you did.

    I think that realising (and admitting to yourself) that she is a wonderful woman and mother who deserves a partner who will *never* betray her or her/your children and wishing her well is the best thing you can do I think if you truly love her, you need to want the best thing for her and your family. In my opinion, that doesn't involve you in a husband/romantic sense.

    I think trying to be a friend to her and a good dad to your kids is all you can do - and I think that's the fairest thing to do. She's been through enough, mate. Cheers and best wishes .

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Pinkzy For This Useful Post:

    *Cj*  (22-12-2011),changethestars  (22-12-2011),HELPihavea2yrold!  (22-12-2011),Jenga  (22-12-2011),laurea  (23-12-2011),mammyk  (22-12-2011),naebie  (22-12-2011),SugarSkull  (22-12-2011)

  3. #62
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    4,382
    Thanks
    4,454
    Thanked
    1,339
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    Those of us on the hub who know your DW were completely shocked to hear of this situation - so I can't even imagine how hard it was for her.

    She is amazing and I think you are very very very very lucky that she is prepared to engage in any sort of friendship with you given everything that has happened. I am not saying you are a bad person or anything, but I imagine if I was in that situation it would be so bl00dy hard to let you in.

    I have no advice though - the decision is with her.

    As for joining/posting on BH - if it was my ex I would appreciate if they contact me and made sure I was ok with it. If I wasn't I would appreciate they leave.

    Good luck - I really hope you can work it out.
    I agree with Buttoneska. Your wife is intelligent, kind, caring and she's an absolutely knock out so I don't know what you were thinking! After 2 kids she still looks like a supermodel... I can just tell you that you're crazy to have left her. She is a catch. She's the complete package and whatever her decision is, I know that one day she will find somebody who will make her happy. Whether it be you or somebody else. She's too good not to have somebody in her life. The decision is hers at the end of the day.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SugarSkull For This Useful Post:

    Gothel  (23-12-2011),laurea  (23-12-2011)

  5. #63
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkzy View Post
    My advice/opinion is probably going against the grain but too bad.

    You say you love her, so do the right thing. If you love her (truly) then you'll agree that she deserves the best right? You simply can't give her that in my opinion, and you've already had enough chances. I also don't think there is such a thing as "making up" for what you did.

    I think that realising (and admitting to yourself) that she is a wonderful woman and mother who deserves a partner who will *never* betray her or her/your children and wishing her well is the best thing you can do I think if you truly love her, you need to want the best thing for her and your family. In my opinion, that doesn't involve you in a husband/romantic sense.

    I think trying to be a friend to her and a good dad to your kids is all you can do - and I think that's the fairest thing to do. She's been through enough, mate. Cheers and best wishes .
    I agree. She deserves to sleep
    peacefully at night; not wonder just before she closes her eyes if you're going to change you mind again tomorrow or the the next day or the next week or the next year....

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:

    laurea  (23-12-2011),Pinkzy  (22-12-2011)

  7. #64
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Now we know who you DW is... yep you messed up. Don't know her IRL but know she is a kind, smart woman, and she has shown her class by her response here to you. Most partners would be angry you had invaded their place of support but instead she has welcomed you here.

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    AllYouNeedIsLove  (22-12-2011),BH-KatiesMum  (23-12-2011),laurea  (23-12-2011),naebie  (22-12-2011),SugarSkull  (22-12-2011)

  9. #65
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    My DW is the most amazing woman I know. I did mess up and I know that.

    Thank you DW for your support again .

    Thank you everyone who has offered their advice in this thread. I have definitely received amazing advice and feel I have good direction. I also now know for definite that I can receive support even if I have done the worst thing possible. Once again Thank you everyone and merry Christmas

  10. #66
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    4,382
    Thanks
    4,454
    Thanked
    1,339
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    See... This is why bub hub needs more men! They can take criticism, advice & different opinions and don't get all catty about it. Guys are so much easier to deal with! Lol

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SugarSkull For This Useful Post:

    Azurial  (22-12-2011),Rutabaga  (23-12-2011),Sparklydreamer  (22-12-2011)

  12. #67
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    4,382
    Thanks
    4,454
    Thanked
    1,339
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    P.s. If she gives you another chance... Don't stuff up! She is every guys dream wife.. She's a trophy wife so you better keep her in a special place and treat her with care.
    Good luck!

  13. #68
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Brissy
    Posts
    14,419
    Thanks
    546
    Thanked
    600
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    I think you're very brave to come on here and seek advice specially as your DW is a very valued member here and obviously has many members here that care for her. I give you kudos for that as it can be hard enough seeking advice when you know you've stuffed up big time let alone when many will side with your DW. I hope whether things work out with your DW or not the kids are your main priority which it sounds as though they are. I wish you all the best and goodluck with the counselling etc.

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to V8 For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (22-12-2011),RastaMouse  (22-12-2011),SugarSkull  (22-12-2011)

  15. #69
    Tam-I-Am's Avatar
    Tam-I-Am is offline Winner 2009 - Most Helpful Member Award
    Winner 2007 The most helpful moderator/admin award
    2008 AWARD WINNER - The most polite member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    In front of the computer....Der!
    Posts
    19,561
    Thanks
    368
    Thanked
    1,615
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank You
    Honestly? I agree with so many of the others. I think it's selfish in the extreme to seek your ex-wife's forgiveness and yet another chance at a relationship (I'm not commenting on you as a person, BTW - but on your actions in this instance as being selfish).

    I think if you genuinely believed that you'd screwed up to the degree that you have, you wouldn't be seeking that from her. It's not right and it's not fair and your ex-wife deserves better than to spend her days wondering when it is next that you're going to have another change of heart and set her and your kids aside for a more exciting pursuit.

    Having said all that, I think that it *is* possible for people to change, in fact I know it is - my whole profession is bound up in that basic premise, and I hope that your efforts in that direction are truly genuine. Having said *THAT* - it take YEARS (not weeks or months) to change attitudes, and until the underlying attitudes change - behaviour can only change in the most superficial of ways.

    I agree with so many posters that your best bet is to focus on being the absolute best dad and person you can be - with no hope or agenda of reuniting with your ex wife - and let her come to her own conclusions. If you expect any more from her than that, I think it would just demonstrate how entitled you are and if I were your ex-wife, I'd run a mile.

    Good luck.

  16. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Tam-I-Am For This Useful Post:

    laurea  (23-12-2011),Pinkzy  (22-12-2011),SassyMummy  (22-12-2011),shelle65  (22-12-2011),shockinamillion  (22-12-2011),SugarSkull  (22-12-2011)

  17. #70
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    I would just like to make everyone aware that I only want what is best for my DW. If that isn't me then I accept that. That doesn't mean I can't want it to be me nor do I think it selfish that I do. I know it is her decision and I will respect that in every way. I can understand why people think it is a selfish thing though after what I have done however I still believe trying to be a happy family again is never something selfish to ask for given any circumstance


 

Similar Threads

  1. I made a big mistake :(
    By AppelsAndOranjes in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 17-02-2012, 12:51
  2. Have I made a mistake?
    By NiknDan in forum Stay At Home Mums (SAHMs) Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 03-01-2012, 12:00
  3. I feel like I've made a mistake :(
    By FairyPrincessOf1 in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 12-12-2011, 23:48

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Shapland Swim Schools
Shapland's at participating schools offer free baby orientation classes once a month - no cost no catches. Your baby will be introduced to our "natural effects" orientation program develop by Shapland's over 3 generations, its gentle and enjoyable.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Tribalance
TriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health physiotherapy services. Weekly pregnancy yoga classes are scheduled at the studio on Thursdays 1- 2pm and Saturdays 1-2:15pm.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!