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  1. #21
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    I think the fact you have realised your mistakes is a good start, however I still think you have a long way to go. I see your actions as immaturity, I don't mean that in a nasty way but the thoughts of wanting to go back to life before commitments, the lying and sleeping around, just screams at me that you weren't mature enough to deal with your actions. I think it's a normal 'feeling' for guys to sort of become frightened especially pending the birth of their 1st child and have thoughts of fleeing to avoid the responsibility. But to act on it is another thing altogether.
    I think the best thing you can do now is prove yourself, be a loving, commited father. Be a support to your wife, be HONEST. When somebodies trust is broken it can take a long time to be mended and the only way that is going to be mended is for her to see you're serious and commited, no backing out, no lies and then she might consider taking you back and becoming a family again.
    If you're serious about wanting your family back then I can see it working but you said before you kept changing your mind, doing that is just hurting her more and it will only make things worse, not better. Goodluck

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by MisterSmith View Post
    As for single life "not panning out the way I wanted it too"., this is not the reason for me wanting to fix my marriage. My wife said she couldn't see any faults in our marriage and it was a shock to her. I can't find any either. I just lost sight of my morals and judgement and made huge regrettable mistakes.
    Sometimes people make mistakes because life just gets bigger than it should and overwhelms us.

    Kudos to you for owning your mistakes and doing everything you can to make it right.

    As GFP said, she may never take you back but if you can prove to her that you've made yourself a better man than your ex wife will have so much more respect for you and even if you guys never get back together, you'll still be able to have a good relationship as parents.

    I wish you the best of luck.

  4. #23
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    You sound like a very selfish man and until you outgrow that trait and prove it to your ex partner repeatedly I think she is making a wise decision to keep her distance.

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  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    You sound like a very selfish man and until you outgrow that trait and prove it to your ex partner repeatedly I think she is making a wise decision to keep her distance.
    Wow... I'm all for telling the truth but that was just harsh!


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

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  8. #25
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    - Talked her into having a family with him
    - Got bored with family, lied, ended relationship, left woman alone to raise one child while pregnant with another
    - Slept with other women, lied about that
    - Decides he wants her back, then changes his mind again, abandons her again
    - Now decides AGAIN he loves her and wants her back...

    Poor woman. I could be harsher!

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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    - Talked her into having a family with him
    - Got bored with family, lied, ended relationship, left woman alone to raise one child while pregnant with another
    - Slept with other women, lied about that
    - Decides he wants her back, then changes his mind again, abandons her again
    - Now decides AGAIN he loves her and wants her back...

    Poor woman. I could be harsher!
    And has owned up to his mistakes and is trying to rectify them. And is now taking steps to sort himself out when it would easy (for lack of a better word) to wipe his hands of everything and continue down the same destructive path.


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
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  12. #27
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    Good-oh. And like I said: once he has proven repeatedly that he is no longer putting his own short term pleasure above the needs of his wife and children, maybe she should consider being with him again. Surely no one would disagree with that?

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  14. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    Good-oh. And like I said: once he has proven repeatedly that he is no longer putting his own short term pleasure above the needs of his wife and children, maybe she should consider being with him again. Surely no one would disagree with that?
    Not at all.

    For the record I meant the calling him a selfish man was a bit harsh, not the proving himself bit.


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

  15. #29
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    Maybe. But I just can't help putting myself in "her" place. Imagine if my husband did that to me. How would I feel about it? So I guess that's where my harsh answer comes from.

  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by BornToBe View Post
    Maybe. But I just can't help putting myself in "her" place. Imagine if my husband did that to me. How would I feel about it? So I guess that's where my harsh answer comes from.
    I have been in her position. My husband has done what he did, and worse.


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

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