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  1. #391
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    Slinky, great to hear from you Fabulous that all is progressing well with baking your beautiful DD. Good luck with the pack up and the big move. I'm sorry we didn't get the opportunity to catch up in Canberra (We are coming down in early Sept as luck would have it!). Please stay in touch and keep us informed.

    Swede, all the best for your scan!

    Melk, lovely news on team blue

    PinkB, hope all is going well with Isabella

    Fiona, lovely to read how enamored you are with Indy.

    Mum4nay, lovely to meet and have a cuddle with your little beefcake recently. he certainly is divine! You have certainly made another family deliriously happy with your generous gift.

    Millie, August 24th is my sister's b'day a very special date indeed to meet Little Miss!

    Nessie, so glad you did start this thread, thank you! There really is a very special group of women who have been drawn here and I feel so fortunate to have been the recipient of so much love and support on the 35+ thread over quite a long period of time. We are going away mid September. Have decided on Sulawesi in Indonesia. Very much looking forward to the break.
    3 weeks till Wazza! I heard he is no longer retiring, is that true?

    AFM, apologies for the radio silence have fallen into a bit of a black hole since last week. Cycle was cancelled as expected. I threw everything at it and unfortunately nothing worked. FS was great, rang me herself to discuss the situation and she started me on Trental (another medication to improve blood flow) for a couple of months and low dose E2 patches continuously. My AS guru however feels the lining issues are outside the norm of what he would expect and emailed to say that unfortunately he feels I have no option but to have yet another hysteroscopy to see what is going on. Gutted

    I am meeting with Prof V on August 14th to discuss what he suspects is lurking inside (?the return of the scarring) and will probably proceed with a final surgery and with the hope for a transfer before the end of the year. If the lining doesn't get it together after this surgery then I feel I have exhausted all options for carrying the baby myself (and I will have endured 4 surgeries this year alone to address the scarring). I don't think I can give it any more than that nor can we keep throwing $$ into a bottomless pit.

    Making it harder is that I feel a lot of responsibility towards these beautiful chances at life sitting in the freezer, and without their presence it would be easier to start the process of moving on with life without baby. I think also weighing heavily on my mind this week is I finally sent my letter to the CEO of my former clinic (cc'ed to previous FS) outlining all of my concerns re: the circumstances which led to me acquiring AS and the mismanagement of the symptoms over such a long period of time. Will be interesting to see what response I get!
    Last edited by Starf1sh; 04-08-2012 at 09:11. Reason: explaining myself better!

  2. #392
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    Starf1sh: Oh my dear lady! I feel your heartache. I started my first period yesterday since having my surgery, only 11 days late, so naturally I started thinking the scarring had come back because i had several days a niggly pains with no sign of af. I'm so happy to see an almost normal flow, considering my thin lining. I know you are in the best of care with Prof V. I am keeping you in my thoughts constantly and do so hope this can be resolved for you. I am keeping myself busy and have purposely not been on bubhub much since getting home, I really needed some time. My clinic is ****ed at me and is jerking me around so I am getting a 2nd opinion while I wait, and wait, and wait. I had to pull all 4 dissolvable stitches out from my surgery, which I thought was funny seeing as I was told I had no stitches, haha. Take care and will check in on you

  3. #393
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    that sucks starfish,,,i really hope things turn around for you....

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    Starf1sh  (13-08-2012)

  5. #394
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    Hi girls!

    Nessie; thanks for starting thi s thread; its been a life saver for sure....
    How very exciting that you will start very soon...it must be great to finally go to Wazza; I have heard so much about him....xxxx
    Cant wait for your next bfp!!!

    Starfish; yet again another blow; it is just a bit cruel....I hope the stars will have some good sprinkle of good fortune coming your way very soon; you so deserve it. It is time now...for sure...
    If yet another operation is on the agenda, I hope it will the lucky last thing before you can do a transfer and on your way to become pregnant.
    It will be very interesting to hear what the clinic will say to your letter...let us know how you go.

    Millie, getting so close to meet your little bundle....how truly amazing....

    Melk, yay for the half way mark....well done!!!! nd how very exciting with a blue bundle....whoooo

    Pink I hope you are getting better, it seems like every person is sick at the moment, more or less....

    Fiona; how is motherhood treating you????

    Crofty; how are you sweetie????

    Mum4nay- glad little bubba is beefing up! How absolutely wonderful of you to donate your embryos....got me all teary!!!!!

    Slinky....wow...that is a lot going on...WOW...and well don on being half way...ho w very exciting!!!!Ah, I didn realise your middle one was a natural miracle...amazing isnt it????

    AFM, i decided to do the scan on Friday instead, I was totally convinced that it wasnt going to be a non viable pregnancy as I just dont feel pregnant what so ever, no sore boobs and practically no nausea what so ever and spotting every day......but i did the scan and to my surprise there was a heartbeat...I cried so hard that the lady must have thought i was a fruit loop. I have to say that the spotting is driving me bonkers.....It is so different to the last pregnancy, feel so different all together. I know it is early still and things can change....and funnily enough this morning I felt a bit nauseous....So I am 7 weeks today, hoping for the best......
    Thanks again to everyone with your lovely messages....

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    Starf1sh  (13-08-2012)

  7. #395
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    HI girls,

    Lochnessie - wow, I didn't realise it was you who started this thread, well done. It's been a HUGE support for me too! To answer your question, surprisingly, Nathan is starting to like Tom better despite being jealous. He's so gentle with him too, that I no longer feel I have to 'supervise' every minute so that's a load off my mind. Funny that with N's early intervention for Autism, both N and T are kinda on the same level socially already!! So hopefully they'll grow together and might ???I hope end up being really close... that's my big hope!
    Good you've had a bit of a break from IVF - lets hope Wazza will NOT retire and bring you your long awaited 'prize'!!!!!!!

    Starfish - so sorry lovely, can't believe this is still going so wrong for you. I think of you often even though I don't get online much nowadays.... I'm glad you're considering surrogacy though - I know 2 gay couples that obviously had to do that and honestly, down the track it sort of becomes water under the bridge.... you'd be SUCH a gorgeous mum from whatever means. I don't mean to sound so negative though... your FS's aren't giving up yet, so hang in there, miracles can and do happen (just look at my little tom ).

    Swede - sounds like a GREAT pregnancy with no symptoms!! I can relate though, it's nice especially for us IVF'ers to have lots of nausea, vomiting and cankles

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    Starf1sh  (13-08-2012)

  9. #396
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    Hi everybody!

    It has been quiet in here lately ....

    I have been reading along but haven't had time to post until now.

    Starfish, my first post on BH was on knowing when to quit. I was answered by the wonderful Mum4Nay, who gave me the excellent advice that she herself followed which was to keep going until it was harder to continue than it was to stop. It was advice that gave me a lot of peace of mind in the two years that followed until I got the BFP that gave me DS2. IVF is the most difficult road imaginable, and I respect utterly anyone who makes the decision to cease. However lovely until you make that decision I will continue to have faith that the steps you are taking will lead to that much deserved pregnancy and baby for you. I still believe this will happen for you! I think the fact that both of your doctors - FS and Dr V - still think there are more steps to take is a huge positive. I'm continuing to think of you and hoping that this last cycle was just a hormonal glitch and your endometrium is continuing to regenerate in a healthy way I am in awe of your courage in sending that letter to your old clinic. Hopefully they will review their procedures and save any other woman from going through the misery of Ashermans.

    Swede, hope that pregnancy is treating you okay! I hope for lots of symptoms that reassure you that all is going okay, that your precious miracle baby is growing healthy and strong.

    Mum4Nay, Hope all is going great with you!

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    Starf1sh  (13-08-2012)

  11. #397
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    Hello Ladies,

    I haven't been here for some time, needed a break and we also went home to the UK for 6 weeks. It did me the world of good, it was great not to think about IVF all the time while we were there and have some time to relax. Now we're back, I've seen my new FS and will start my stim cycle when AF arrives. I feel more prepared this time around, FS has told me my chances are 25% per embryo. She wouldn't want to go to egg collection if we have less than 3 eggs although if we want to she will do it. As I only got 2 eggs last time I am not holding out too much hope that there will be more. She also said if there were less than 4 embryos she would recommend a 3 day transfer but otherwise a 5 day, again we could ask to wait to 5 day if we wanted. This will be our last stim cycle. Financially and emotionally I have realized my limit, I can't keep doing it. It makes me sad but I think going away has given me some peace with decision.

    Starfish - I am so sorry that things have been so difficult for you. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. How did your meeting with Prof V go? I hope that you have some answers. Hugs and love to you.

    I will have to read back and catch up on everyone else, hope you're all doing well xxxx

  12. #398
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    Amps, a missing or poor AF is always my first fear also that the scarring has returned, however not to be for me either (see my update below). Will be good to put our most recent updates on the Asherman's thread too. I have had quite a number of girls contact me after I started it and several of them have now had surgery with Prof V (and every single one had some degree of scarring! , usually cervix closed hence little or no period). Hope you can get again soon!

    Swede, Yay for your little jellybean , what a magical sight that must have been. So happy for you xx

    Mum4nay and PinkB, thanks for thinking of me.

    Millie, so close now!!! Can't wait to hear of little Miss' arrival

    Littlefeet, welcome back! Lots of time to think and return with renewed energy for what is to come next. Just a thought, on the no. of embryos collected there are PLENTY of gals here who have had less than 3 eggs collected and are now at home nursing those bubbas. Mum4nay and Drmummy immediately come to mind. Completely get where you are coming from with feeling you have nearly come to the end of the road. I loved Trying's last post about the enormous courage it takes to say when enough is enough and I completely agree. Keep us posted on your next cycle and

    Trying, as I said to LF the idea of stopping is definitely becoming less frightening than it has been in the past. I do feel that my poor body is at the limit of what it can take in terms of surgery, medications and intervention.

    AFM, I had my 3rd surgery with Prof V yesterday (4th this year!) I did a mental calculation while waiting to be admitted yesterday and I have actually had 12 GA's and surgeries in the last 3 years! And i just don't recover as well from them these days.

    The good news from yesterdays surgery is that the cavity has remained open and relatively scar free since the last surgery 3 months ago. There were a few very minor adhesions which Prof V described as "tidying up", the cervix was mostly open so we are at a bit of a loss to understand why the lining isn't responding. I'm guessing I didn't get an AF due to my hormones being messed up from the medicated cycle. Prof V could see lots of thick lining at the top of the uterus, however the bottom not looking as good and a bit 'fibrotic' in appearance, so the implications are it would be better for an embryo to attach to the top of the uterus rather than lower, but of course we have little control over this. So we will be giving it one final shot after we get back from our diving trip to Indonesia at the end of Sept and will probably attempt a transfer even if the lining is suboptimal. Figure we have nothing to lose!

    I have started learning a bit about altruistic surrogacy arrangements in NSW (and excluded overseas as an option for us due to the legalities). We have talked to friends about our situation and I have been astounded and overwhelmed by several offers to consider being a surrogate for us. Whether this will translate into reality is another situation all together but regardless we feel very loved and blessed to be surrounded by such amazing support

    I received a phone call from the CEO of my former clinic last week in response to my letter. He was apologetic about the "incredibly difficult time you have had with your treatment" and agreed to include an education session to nursing staff of the clinic about the signs and symptoms of AS. However, he was also at pains to separate the clinic from the actions of my FS and has offered DH and I a meeting with our previous FS and the Medical Director. I feel incredibly anxious about this but feel it is the best option for us as we have limited chance of being successful taking it further legally, nor do we have the emotional or financial resources. My hope would be to ask them to examine their practices around performing blind D&C's and also show the very personal face of the devastation of these decisions they make everyday to wield the scalpel without a 2nd thought.

    So we continue to ride the crazy ups and downs for the time being with some hope in our hearts that one of our frosties might eventually make us parents, but even if it does not happen it will forever be a sadness in our hearts but I know we will be ok

  13. #399
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    good luck starfish with your next xfer and with your appt with the clinic...i still follow your updates and hope u get your miracle very soon. xxx

  14. #400
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    Starf1sh - I keep reading your posts and hoping for a BFP, which I feel is going to happen. I'm glad your surgery found your cervix open etc. I know so many women with lining problems who now have babies. They tried everything from a stim cycle (without EPU) to thicken the lining to all sorts of drug regimes. It's really frustrating when the lining doesn't perform, but I know it is rarely a permanent problem. Enjoy your LAST holiday overseas for over a year. It's hard traveling with a new baby

    Heaps of to everyone here. I'm checking in and keeping my fingers for you.

    Mx


 

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