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  1. #1
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    Default A question for parents with a toddler, then had twins...

    Hi ladies, I have a question about having twins after a singleton and I think this is the right area to post. We require IVF to have babies. So far it hasn't been too challenging IVF-wise as we achieved our first BFP after our first transfer which resulted in our DD. We did however, transfer two, but she was the only one that took.

    So we are staring down the barrel of IVF again in January. I asked my husband, how many babies do you really see us having? His answer, 3. I thought I would only ever want 2 but I have this deep down feeling that 3 is for us. This was before I asked him as well!

    So knowing all of this, we are considering transfering two embryos with our next cycle in January. There is part of me that is very scared of the thought of twins (with a toddler), but then the other part wonders if this is the 'blessing in disguise' with IVF. I strongly believe in 'what is meant to be, will be' meaning that if we transfer 2, we could very well end up with a singleton pregnancy again, or unfortunately as IVF can often turn out, a BFN.

    So given my situation, and given YOUR experience coping with a toddler and twins, would you put two embryos back as well?

    I guess I am trying to ask in the nicest way possible, in hindsight if you could have controlled falling pregnant with twins, would you reduce the risk, as best possible by only transfering one?

    thank you to everyone in advance.
    Last edited by nicole83; 19-12-2011 at 16:53.

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    It was extremely tough on both my body, my relationship and my toddler. Given the chance I would not have had two babies together.

    If I were you I would be transferring one. I would be surprised if your FS would tf two anyway given you are fairly young and have a good ivf history.
    Remember, twins are not all cuteness and double cuddles. There is a higher risk of miscarriage, prematurity and it's lifelong consequences and long hospital stays for you which would be tough on your toddler.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4underfour View Post
    It was extremely tough on both my body, my relationship and my toddler. Given the chance I would not have had two babies together.

    If I were you I would be transferring one. I would be surprised if your FS would tf two anyway given you are fairly young and have a good ivf history.
    Remember, twins are not all cuteness and double cuddles. There is a higher risk of miscarriage, prematurity and it's lifelong consequences and long hospital stays for you which would be tough on your toddler.
    Thank you for your honest reply. Yes I am fairly young which in some ways would be good as far as stress on my body etc. it actually surprises me that older women going through ivf more often transfer two for that reason...

    My FS leaves the decision up to his patients and has no problem transferring two if that's what we want.

    How old are each of your kids now?

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    Hi, my DD1 wasn't a toddler (she was 4.5yrs) by the time we had DD2 & DD3. We did start trying when she was only 11mths old though.

    I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I sometimes wonder if thing may have been better for me if it was a single pregnancy. (I had a huge DVT when pregnant and then later a pulminory embolisim.) Then again sometimes I think maybe it was meant to be that way and maybe things wouldn't have been different except for only having 2 of my girls and I couldn't imagine that.

    We needed ICSI. Went through everything possible before we got to the IVF stage. First IVF attempt failed and needed ICSI but first attempt at ICSI with 3 embyros ( but was 13yrs ago and different then) resulted in DD1. We decided to transfer 2 each time.

    So, I guess at first I used to think what if I had the girls in single pregnancies. Especially when we were blaming the mulitple pregnancy for my DVT. But when I had the PE 3 yrs ago with no real explanation I thought hmmm maybe it wasn't the multiple pregnancy. But if it had been a single pregnancy I don't think I would have gone back again. I guess it would have been a possibility if I had had an event free pregnancy but if I still had the DVT then I don't think so.

    I couldn't imagine not having one of my girls.

  5. #5
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    Thanks for your reply dannielle. I understand what you mean, when you say you couldn't live without one of your girls. I think the embryo scenario will help finally determine how many we transfer. For example if we are only left with 2 anyway, then I am pretty sure I will transfer two. You would understand when I say that I don't want to have to face the possibility of having too many left over. It's such a catch 22 because we want plenty of good ones, but then will be upset at the thought of having to let extras succumb (albeit years later when we are sure our family is complete). I also often think that if we only have 2 left and transfer them and one takes, then that's it my ivf journey is over. I can't keep doing this for years and years and yes I am one of the lucky ones only having 1 full stim cycle to get DD. I am scared of the decisions I have to make, and try so hard to believe there will be signs along my journey to tell me what is right. I look back to my cycle with DD and don't regret for a second putting two back, because we'll never know which one she was. I don't want to feel regret with the next cycle either and think I would feel more regret with freezing a potential 2nd embryo than I would putting it back. I did infact have a 3rd embryo from my DDs cycle that we froze but it didn't grow any further post-thaw. I am scared about freezing a potential 2nd embryo this time in case it doesn't thaw properly. What if that was my other baby and how can I live with myself to freeze it?

    I understand some of my thoughts may seem odd. I guess it's just my way of interpreting and coping with ivf. Nothing is black and white or straightforward.

    And after saying all this, what if I'm left with many to freeze?! I am no way prepared to be an octomum, that is for sure! Lol

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    Your thoughts aren't odd at all. IVF is hard.

    When I think back to the time when I fell pregnant with DD1 I think she could have been triplets.

    Second time around I needed to take the chance with transferring 2 embyro's each time to give us a better chance of at least 1 sticking. I think emotionally I needed to know I was doing everything I could so I would have no regrets if it didn't work if that makes sense. And I kind of figured if 3 embyo's resulted in 1 baby then there was a chance that 2 embyo's would be 1 as well. I still did a lot of frozen cycles too and they all thawed without any problems at all but none of them took. I lost count of what number cycle my twins were.

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    Last edited by one4now; 09-07-2012 at 11:08.

  8. #8
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    My cousin did just this and ended up with triplets (one egg split...)
    True story.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    My cousin did just this and ended up with triplets (one egg split...)
    True story.
    I agree with above.

    Like you I have to do ivf to fall pregnant. First transfer resulted in DD (only one enlarged follie so very lucky) second transfer resulted in ID twins while obviously I'm so overly excited I dread to think if we'd transferred more then one embryo and ended up with more because of the added risks.


 

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