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  1. #1
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    Default How do I convince her?

    In October I helped a friend leave her abusive husband. Anyway she's found a home and in another relationship and she's really happy but still trying to heal from it all. It's not over, he ex is still out there. He's been diagnosed with borderline personality, narcissistic, psychopathy.

    Anyway the DVO she has out on him is still pending, meaning it hasn't yet gone to court, and it won't be till Jan (which he apparantley plans on contesting), however the conditions are still enforced in the meantime. But....he has been contacting her, in breach of the DVO. He's been talking to her on the wall of his fb...so technically not contacting her directly, but he's spoken to her by using her name, then asked people to give her a message....all on his fb wall which he then deleted but not before she made a copy of it. So she's got a copy of the 1st breach.

    I've been telling her she needs to report this and she still hasn't done it. Then yesterday he's become more brazen in that he contacted her directly through fb messages begging her forgiveness and how wrong he was (all BS BTW). She's sent me the letter pluse the copy of the fb page. I've then told her again last night that she really needs to report these breaches...there's 2 now!

    I have a feeling that he's going to do something, that if she doesn't report these breaches that it will go against her at a later date. I've really stressed this to her but without 'telling' her what to do. Last thing she needs is more people 'bullying' or 'controlling' her....but she REALLY needs to do this. It's vital to her happiness and that of her new relationship.

    She told me this morning that she hasn't done it because she can't work out how to put the info onto a usb and get it to them.....but she doesn't even need to do that...she can just email it. I'm not sure if she realises how easy it all is.

    So what else can I do? How can I word it in such a way that it hits home how important it is, but without F'ing with her already F'ed up head (she's so messed up). I don't want her to feel pressure in anyway, god knows she's had enough of that. I'm just afraid for her, he's becoming more confident when he messages her, it's like at first he was testing the water to see if she'd do anything....well she didn't do anything....now he's more confident, and I'm afraid what the next step will be if she doesn't report it. I already know what one step is....but I can't say anything to her about it ugh!!!

  2. #2
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    Could you maybe offer to do it for her (put them onto a USB or whatever), and them email them yourself? I know it's sneaky but it really sounds like she isn't capable atm of making sound decisions and therefore may need someone close to act on her behalf.


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    Could you maybe offer to do it for her (put them onto a USB or whatever), and them email them yourself?
    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)
    That what I would do.

  4. #4
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    But she still has to put the report in....I can't really do that. I have no problem in emailing it to them once she's put in the report but she really needs to do up the report....that's the hard part!

    Also I don't want to do anything without her permission, I think that this would be a betrayal to her in a sense that her ex did things like this to her and for her with or without her knowledge. He had her exactly where he wanted her.

  5. #5
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    Well as hard as it is, and as frustrating as it is, you can't really help someone who doesn't want to be helped.


    Me + He = DD1 (2007), DD2 (2010) & BellyBaby due August 2012
    Angel Baby 1 (July 2008) & Angel Baby 2 (October 2011)

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    MilkingMaid  (20-12-2011)

  7. #6
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    She does want to be helped but she can't because her head is so messed up.

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    Maybe you could offer to help put the info on the USB and take her down to make the report, so you could be there for moral support??


 

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