oh beautiful lady .. I dont have any real words of support, but couldn't not post in this thread and at least offer
of course you miss him - he will ALWAYS be part of your heart, and part of your family - maybe E needs to be part of your Christmas celebrations, some new tradition you could do to honor him, and to always make him part of the day??
I cant imagine how much your heart hurts at the idea of Christmas this year, but you are right, the other little ones do need to have Christmas