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    What does dating involve

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    I don't think you can stop her dating TBH. She probably just has a much more sociable personality than her older brothers. If she's a bit boy crazy, she's a bit boy crazy and there's not much you can do to prevent her from talking to and about boys alllll the time if that's just how she is right now. If you really want her to concentrate on school, i guess you could limit all of her socialising a bit more, eg, no internet/mobile/whatever until she has done x hours of homework or whatever. But i think if you say "no dating" she will just ignore you. You can't control what she does at school at lunch time for example.

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    My daughter is the same. They are mostly all the same at this age it seems. I keep an eye on it (I check her Facebook etc regularly) and we talk about all sorts of things to do with boys and relationships. It is really quite innocent at the moment, so as much as I don't like it, I'm okay with it.

    I think as long as we are fairly open with each other, at least she is not going behind my back. Banning her doesn't help, so I just make sure I know where she is and monitor the situation, I can try and prevent things going too far. It's really hard when they start growing up and one starts growing up more quickly (my 15 year old son hasn't bothered with girls in that way either, so he's not a worry in that way).

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    Okay, just read your other posts! That is a worry and I would be talking to his parents and possibly the school counsellor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pynk View Post
    he asked her to sneak over to his house at 11pm and was talking about his double bed
    This would not be acceptable to me, and is not acceptable to parents I know with 13yo kids. It is one thing to be having 'boyfriends/girlfriends' at school and possibly 'dates' at normal times and with other friends along also. Just my view, but a 13 year shouldn't be up at 11pm let alone out of the house, let alone sneaking into a boy's bedroom.


    (I'm now shutting my eyes and poking my fingers into my ears - la la la la la)

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    Quote Originally Posted by aLittleLoopy View Post
    Okay, just read your other posts! That is a worry and I would be talking to his parents and possibly the school counsellor.
    ditto. yikes, i would definitely be asking for an expert opinion on how to deal with that one (ie school counsellor) how old is the boy? 13 as well? Is there a chance they are all talk?

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    Yeah, that is a worry. I don't know what I'd do. Aside from limiting/monitoring communication etc so they can hang out at school, but not be able to plan late night rendezvous.

    Also - just myself - I'd be giving her condoms & explain how to use them. Remind her that they aren't 100% and that there's still a handful of STIs that they don't protect against, but IF she is becoming sexually active she needs to be responsible for her body.

    BUT then I'd do ANYTHING in my power to prevent her having any opportunity to actually be sexually active.

    Could you encourage her to have girlfriends over? Try to get her socializing more with girls & less with boys?

    I remember being boy crazy at 13 too though. It's a pretty strong impulse to want to be with boys.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pynk View Post
    if it was just hanging out at school i wouldnt mind...but this boy is being very suggestive and asking her to sneak out so they be in his bed together. we live in a small town and there are already things being said about her as she told a boy earlier this year she was pregnant. She wont tell me if she did actually have sex though....i just dont know what to do.
    Eek!
    I think it might be time to seek some outside help, is there someone at her school you can access?
    I have a teenager, but a boy and he is so into his sports and studying we are yet to face any of these dating type issues...yet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pynk View Post
    she is currently standing on the footpath screaming that we have ruined her life and hates us all. she had promised us that after what happened last time she wasnt dating for a while. she has been telling us she was reading books on the pc but after going through her history tonight she was getting back up and talking this boy on facebook till 1am. i dont know if its all talk...i hope it is....but its too big a risk to take to believe it is i think.
    Oh the joys of 13/14 year old girls - well rather that than her sneeking off to the boy's house right? Can you shut down internet access after a certain time at your house?

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    That's a good idea regarding handing in the technology. I also agree with encouraging her female friends. Have them come over and hang out. But see if you can see if you can talk to some kind of counsellor in case the defiant behavior escalates. The boys parents (if they are approachable) should be notified to, so they can deal with his behavior. *hugs* teenagers are hard!!


 

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