It is really hard to calm and wind down one with a baby! I have a two year old and 5 month old and we have found a routine that seems to work for us.
We do dinner by 6 -6:30 then bath for both with Dad (while I clean the kitchen yay!)
Then it's pjs and ds1 picks his toy he wants to take to bed.
Kisses and cuddles for the family (we have extended family living with us at the moment).
Df puts ds1 to bed. Then I take ds2 in and they say good night to each other (well ds2 dribbles on ds1). This is the most important time of the night. Ds1 seems content that he isn't missing out on anything when ds2 is getting ready for bed.
I then bf ds2 and he snuggles in bed until he falls asleep them he goes into his bassinet.
I try to be flexible, because there are always just bad nights, or df comes home late. But I try to maintain the little things.
Consistency is what works for us. It also helps that ds1 self weaned while I was utd with ds2.