I have been through this with my DS! My best advice is just offer whatever you are eating, don't make separate meals. Then you won't be upset if some goes to waste because you haven't gone to any extra effort IYKIM? (as long as your meals you make are generally healthy).
For snacks - homemade savoury mini muffins are good, you can hide bacon and veg etc in there. Homemade pikelets are good too, you can hide grated apple and berries etc.
With my DS, he is older now, we can negotiate. He HAS to ty everything on his plate (as least one mouthful) and then after dinner he is allowed a treat (yoghurt or a biscuit or a drink of juice etc). So it does get easier when you can negotiate with them.
Have you tried baked beans (salt reduced) as a finger food?
As long as whatever they are eating is healthy, then thats all you can do. Don't offer white bread or white rice/pasta, try to stick with wholemeal and try to offer more natural yoghurts rather than the really sugary kids yoplait-type ones.