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  1. #11
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    You poor thing. It's ok to be sad. In a way, you're going through a mourning period and there's nothing wrong with that. Take the time to be kind to yourself and know that you did what you did because it was for the best. I'm so sorry that you don't have more people around you to talk to at this time to share your feelings and emotions with. Know that there are plenty of us here who are happy to be a shoulder to cry on.

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    laurea  (19-12-2011)

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    I completely understand the emotions you are experiencing right now.

    I had a termination when I was 18 years old. I fell pregnant whilst on the pill and the moment my BF of the time (scumbag) found out, he dumped me. Over the phone.

    After a lot of soul searching, I knew that a termination was exactly the right thing for me to do at that stage of my life - I wasn't mature enough to look after a child, I had little to no support network (though my parents were pretty good about the situation, considering).

    Though it was the right decision to make, it didn't mean that it didn't affect me. I slipped into a very dark place after the procedure, which caused my parents to seek counselling for me, and it was the best thing that they could have done. It took some time, but I was able to move on.

    I still think about what could have been to this day, but it doesn't make me sad anymore. It just wasn't meant to be.

    You will be ok, but please make sure you go and find a counsellor to talk to, even one of the hotlines if you can't get in to see someone straight away.

    Look after yourself.

  4. #13
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    Thank you everyone for your lovely supportive messages, I really appreciate them.
    Hopefully time will make this easier but right now I just want to disappear and forget. I knew this would be hard, but the pain is so raw. I can't even descibe it. How can something that I think was right feel so wrong?

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    give it time, be patient and forgiving I hope you find peace soon

  6. #15
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    I just wish this pain would go away
    TRIED talking to my partner yesterday but as soon as I got upset and started crying he told me that I was a 'cry baby' and to deal with it for he has. I don't even know why I am still with him, I am so lost.
    Anyway, I have replied to some private messages but I don't think they have been sent through?? Nothing ever shows up in the 'sent' folder, is that normal??
    Thanks

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    laurea  (19-12-2011)

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    What a horrible thing for your partner to say... I'm not sure it sounds like he's a "partner," at all tbh.

    I'd definitely recommend some sort of counselling - just because termination was the best decision you could make at hte time, doesn't mean it should feel like an easy "good," decision iykwim. Nobody wants to be in the position of having to terminate, so even if it was the best decision for you to make, it still doesn't mean you should feel good about it. Feeling bad about it is probably normal and natural... but it would still probably be a good idea to talk to someone (a professional) about it before it has the chance to grow into something worse.

    By the sounds of your partner, you might need to see one for other reasons as well.

    Take care OP.

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    laurea  (19-12-2011)

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    I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said Be kind to your self though, It will be tough and just when you think it's passing you will get waves of that raw emotion again, but you will get better at dealing with it and with time you will have more clarity that you did indeed make the right decision for you at the time.

    I had a termination when I was 19, I'm now 26 and I still think about the decision that I made and it still makes me very sad sometimes. I know in my heart now that it was right for me at the time! Now that my partner are I are ttc it is in my thoughts a lot...

    Make an appointment with your GP ASAP you need someone to talk to about all your feeling, otherwise they fester and become too consuming.

    Take Care xxx

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    This is completely normal and natural I have had more than a few terminations when i was younger and i remember that feeling well.

    It's also why right now i feel so unable to say anything that will make you feel better even though i so wish i could
    It's a process and you just have to greive through it to get to the other side. I am so, so sorry you have had to make such a heart breaking choice and i wouldn't dare judge you for it as i hope others here wouldn't.

    I don't know of anyone personally who breezes through a termination. It's gutwrenching

    The only thing i can say is that i'm sure you thought this through and did what you thought was best even if part of you doubts your decision now. It doesn't make you a bad person. You did your best with what you had to deal with at the time and that's all anyone can do

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    jaesmummy  (29-12-2011)

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    Stormgirl you have to chose to have your messages saved to a sent folder otherwise they won't be saved by default.

  14. #20
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    Laurea, I tried to reply to your message today but apparently your inbox is full (that is the error message I got!)


 

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