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  1. #1
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    Default Hurting so much :-(

    Firstly I am not writing this to be attacked by anti abortionists and will not read comments if they start to imply that way. I am writing this because I am deeply hurting and am desperate to talk to someone who has been in a similar situation.
    I had a termination a few days ago. Some of you may have read my posts from a week or so ago when I was undecided on what to do. I made the decision based on what I believe to be the best for myself right now and what I would cope with better in the long run. However, the decision has hurt me beyond what any words can describe and even though it still was probably for the best, I am still feeling incredible emotional pain, guilt and even regret. I have not slept for three nights for I had nightmares the night before my termination.
    My head tells me I did the right thing but every other part of me tells me I didn't, is this normal? It also didn't help that when they did my scan right before the termination they had the screen in full view of me and I saw a glimpse of my baby (I was 7 - 8 weeks on).
    Now I can't stop crying, I can't sleep and I feel like I will never feel like my true self again. I feel so lost and alone. I can't talk to my partner for his reactions to my pregnancy were part the reason for this termination. My counsellor is away until mid January and I have nowhere else to go.
    Someone please tell me if they have ever had these feelings after a termination and how they coped??

  2. #2
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    it will get easier. Maybe try calling your GP to see if there is anyone you can talk to ASAP. Sounds like January is too long.

  3. #3
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    I'm not much good at these threads but wanted to say that your body will be still dealing with baby hormones and that once they settle down and leave your body you might feel a little better.

    You might be a person who will always regret the termination but I think it would be very normal to feel the worst in the days straight after.

    ((hugs))

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    first off this will settle, your body is mourning a loss as are you and unfortunately this can make it a bit more full on as all those hormones are regulating again and at the moment everything feels it.

    You know you made the right decision for you at the time, unfortunately these decisions aren't always made without guilt but hopefully in time you'll start to feel more ok. As pp said you may always regret it but hopefully not so much you're unable to sleep.

    It sounds like a trip to your gp may be in order, maybe some sedatives (it's really important you get some rest) and ask about seeing someone you can talk things through with. I'm sorry I'm not more help, I hope this passes for you soon xx

  5. #5
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    I agree that talking to your gp of specialist might be a good start in lieu of your counsellor. There are so many aspects of this for you to face and its best if you don't do that alone.

    coming from my phone. excuse typos. i'm much too lazy and uncoordinated to fix it

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    Firstly hun I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time. I know exactly how you feel. I had a termination 2 years ago and was feeling precisely how you are at this point. It will get better, I promise. The only thing that will heal you is time and unfortunately that's the one thing we can't control. In the meantime you NEED to sleep. Go and see a GP and explain your situation. Try and see a female or a young doctor at least. I always feel more comfortable talking to younger doctors about this sort of thing. As someone else suggested, get some sedatives, you need to sleep. Anyone who hasn't slept in 3 days would be feeling rubbish and on top of the heartache you're going through of course you will be feeling completely lost.

    I'm so sorry that you can't lean on your partner, again I know how you feel. My boyfriend at the time thought that once I had the termination, it was over and we never had to speak of it again. Go to a GP and see if you can see another counsellor before yours gets back? I know that I held it in and tried to be tough and it ended up hitting me like a brick wall about 4 months later. Even talking to the GP might help. Do you have any friends nearby that could help you out?

    I think that once the dust settles, you get some rest, and your hormones are back to normal you will start feeling better and more at peace with your decision. 

    I know it's not easy. Like you, it took me a couple of weeks to decide what to do. I was so torn and it was hard. For a lot of people the decision is clear from the start but that wasn't the case for you so it's understandable that you'll be having "what if" feelings. I'll be honest, they might not ever pass completely but they WILL become bearable. 

    Right now what you need to do is take care of yourself physically. Your mental state has no chance is your body isn't looked after. Go and see a doctor, get something to help you sleep, EAT, get plenty of fluids. Talk to someone, or sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself.   

    And then you need patience. You need to accept you are not going to feel great and at peace immediately. It will take time. But it WILL happen, I promise. Focus on the future xxxxxxxx

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    Im sorry I haven't been in this situation and I know you wanted people to write who have been.... But I wanted to say that it's important you find a friend or a person to talk to on the phone so you can talk about your feelings.
    You must not beat yourself up for this, you obviously chose this for very serious reasons, is there some kind of telephone service you can tap into through your gp?
    I feel so sorry for you but please try not to feel so guilty, it sounds like you are getting no support from your partner, I'm sending you a hug x

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    Im sorry I haven't been in this situation and I know you wanted people to write who have been.... But I wanted to say that it's important you find a friend or a person to talk to on the phone so you can talk about your feelings.
    You must not beat yourself up for this, you obviously chose this for very serious reasons, is there some kind of telephone service you can tap into through your gp?
    I feel so sorry for you but please try not to feel so guilty, it sounds like you are getting no support from your partner, I'm sending you a hug x

  10. #10
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    When I got pregnant at 19 to a horrible ex, I also made the decision to have a termination. For me it was def the best decision as I was almost finished my UNi studies, the ex was a total douche (I would never have wanted to be tied to him forever) among other reasons. Afterwards I knew I had made the right decision. There was a little sadness so I rang a hotline (that deals only with women after terminations) I found this very helpful. I wish u all the best and hope that the sadness u feel goes away soon hugs


 

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