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  1. #1
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    Default How do I stop feeling this way?!?!

    I'm 15 weeks today and i had to go for an ultrasound due to getting really bad pains... anyway... while we were there the lady asked if we wanted to know the sex and we said yes...

    I have a 10 yr old son and I desparately wanted a girl... but today the lady said it was pretty prominant that it was a boy, but obviously double check at the 20 week scan... I am devistated... and I feel bad for feeling this way, but I didn't want another boy!!!!!, i had my heart set on a girl... my husband is mad at me for feeling like this... i held it together in qld xray, but as soon as i got in the car to come home i was gone, absolutely balling my eyes and sobbing out the whole way home...

    I know this is wrong to feel this way, I know it's always a 50/50 chance... but I'm sooo incredibly dissapointed.... :-(

  2. #2
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    no advice sorry just hugs.

  3. #3
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    I bawled on the way home from the ultrasound when I found out I was having a boy too! I was convinced I was having a girl and I didn't want a boy! Heck, you couldn't get cute boys clothes could you?? Seriously, I was really upset for 2 days, but like you I wasn't happy with myself for being upset cause bubs was healthy, so what was the problem. But, it was a real problem and I just needed time to adjust. Personally though I think 15 weeks is pretty early to make a definitive call on gender and I'd be waiting for the 20 week scan.

    Being upset about something isn't something you can just 'turn off' like a tap. You're feeling a real emotion. Accept that you are upset. Reflect on why you're upset and then try & focus on the positives. I went out to the shops & bought a cute boys outfit a day or so after I found out and ironically that helped.

    The funny thing is that with this last pregnancy I found out I was having a girl and I got frustrated when I went to the shops & found all these cute boys clothes and nothing that was particularly cute in the girls section!

  4. #4
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    Oh Webby - No advice but huge

  5. #5
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    I was actually quite dissapointed when I found out that my first was a boy. Yes, I felt bad too for feeling like that but the dissapointment eventually just wore off.

    Now I can't even imagine swapping him for a girl! I do know that next time round (when I actually have a PLANNED pregnancy) I will definitely try for a girl though.

    If that fails I'm not sure how I'll feel but I'm sure I'll still love him the same

  6. #6
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    thanks for your thoughts everyone, i'm still not feeling any better today, i even tried looking at boys clothes and names to try and get excited, but it just made me cry...
    my husband is still mad at me, he doesn't understand how i'm feeling and said i need help... i don't know what to do... i know i shouldn't feel like this about having a baby, but i just had everything in my heart set on a girl... :-(

  7. #7
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    Hi again... so im still not feeling any better about this issue... I've tried turning a blunder eye until my 20 week scan, but I'm carrying exactly the same as I did with my son and a midwife guessed this morning that it was a boy going by the heart rate... I'm trying to just accept it but my heart just doesn't want to let go of pink...:-(

  8. #8
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    Hi Webby,
    Sorry I have no advice either but I just want to let you know you are not alone! I absolutely had/have my heart set on having a boy, but we found out at the 20 week scan a couple of weeks ago that the baby is probably a girl. I didn't know how to feel at first, and then I cried in the car all the way to work! I kind of held it together at work, and then came home and cried all night
    I love my baby just as much as I did before we found out she is probably a girl, but I never pictured myself with a baby girl. Every time I imagined our lives with a child, I guess I just assumed it would be a boy. I have no idea how to braid and I am hopeless at girl stuff like make up And the thought of having a teenage daughter one day terrifies me!!
    I am feeling better now (most of the time) but my heart still aches when I see mums with baby boys and when I think about all the boys things I wont have.
    I am sure that when my baby girl comes along and I am holding her in my arms and marvelling at the miracle we have made, that all my wishes for a boy will disappear and I will be smitten by my girl

  9. #9
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    Do you cry whilst watching ads on TV? Remember how many crazy pregnancy hormones are pumping through your body at the moment. You may not be as upset as you think. I hope that doesn't sound like I'm dismissing your feelings, I just wanted to wish you lots of luck in working through it.

    If nothing else, at least you don't have to worry about her sexting when she's older!

  10. #10
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    Exactly, its the hormones exagerating everything.

    Dont feel bad about your dissapointment, men just dont get, my husband was always "as long as it is healthy" and made me feel bad for wanting a girl.

    Hope you feel better soon


 

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