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  1. #1
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    Default How do you know when your marriage is over?

    I need some advice. I am scared I am just not willing to see that my marriage to my husband is coming to an end. It's more him wanting it to be over then me, he says he's over me all the time, has no desire to even speak to me, he gets home from work and walks right by me without a word. We got together young at 17 and 18 and we are now 25 and 26 with 3 young kids 4 and under. It's been like this for a least 2 years I was just hoping it would get better but has only gotten worse. We own a home together so it's not going to be easy to break up. I can't even imagine the logistics of it all. I will hate to live on my own and it will be soo hard to raise my 3 kids on my own, I'm pretty sure he would be in agreence to have a 50/50 custody of the kids. I can't even believe I M writing this down as we haven't spoken about this as I am too scared to hear him say this is what he wants. Our kids are going to be devastated to not see daddy everyday.
    I have no one to talk to about all this and feel so alone and upset. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

  2. #2
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    It doesn't sound very good but maybe there are other contributing factors. Perhaps he is depressed?
    As hard as it may be, I think you need to sit down with him and sort out what he is feeling, thinking and wanting. You also need to express the same to him. Counselling isn't a bad idea, either.
    At the end of the day, happy parents = happy children. You need to take the first step to either fix this or end it.


  3. #3
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    So many hugs. It must be so difficult for you right now.

    Has he told you why he feels this way? Is it stress, money?
    If he hasn't told you then you need to speak to him and find out. Before you can fix a marriage you have to know what exactly you are fixing.

  4. #4
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    I agree with bell and bug, if you're concerned it may not go well look at doing it with a mediator present perhaps? I'd recommend not having the children home just so you can talk without interruptions / distraction.

    good luck, you may be able to repair it if you both want that. But remember it will take two to go back to where you were.

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  6. #6
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    Sorry you're going through this.

    What I got from your message is that you're just not ready to bring up the subject yet as you can't face what he may say. You also said you don't want to lose the relationship.

    Relationships take work, so if you really don't want to end things (and he isn't putting in the effort to improve things), I don't know, but maybe just to put a lighter note on things perhaps you could just walk around in some sexy attire for the next few days and see if/how he reacts - walk around in some sexy knickers with just a t-shirt on . If he still doesn't react, then you're going to have to have that tough conversation

    Sometimes we just need to spice things up a bit again, to keep things fresh...? Good luck x

  7. #7
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    I'm sorry you are going through this, other posters have given you some good advice already, I'm sorry that i cant give you any advice just plenty of Good luck with whatever happens xoxox

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    Before df left me almost a month ago we were just like that and it got to the point where I burst and he moved out. You need to definitely talk to him before you burst because believe me, it makes it a whole world more difficult and upsetting.
    My df is depressed as well and over this year things have built up and gotten worse because of it, and it sounds very similar to what you said (though of course there is almost no detail to really tell.) Sit down with him and try to talk about it calmly. I know it's going to hurt, even if you both resolve everything, talking about it will still hurt at first. I'm so so sorry that you have to go through this and I really hope he's like my df and just needs a few days to himself before sorting everything out.

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    Thanks ladies, it was a bad point for us both but we talked and we were fine. We are still going through a ruff patch due to my stupidity (money related) but I can see the light and hopefully once I've fixed it we will continue to get on better. Thanks again!!!

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