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  1. #21
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    That is just horrible. I agree with others, did you give him cash or pay the bills yourselves?

    "Neither a lender nor a borrower be; for loan oft loses both itself and friend."

    So true, Shakespeare, so true.


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  3. #22
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    Ok just to clarify things a little because some people don't know the situation...

    *I personally paid all the bills no money actually changed hands
    *My Uncle stated as a loan but I made no mention of that and never even intended for the money to ever be repaid
    *My Uncles financial position is bad yes but not due to any fault of his own...he had an accident which caused him to be unable to work and is getting no income, his GF works but doesn't earn enough
    *When giving my help with money I never asked if he had money put away for Christmas which is quite possible he did
    *Due to my uncles accident he may not be able to fully comprehend how this has made me feel or what we have put off to help him

    I'm not mad that he spent so much on Christmas nor am I mad that I gave him money. I'm mad that we paid his bills when he obviously had some money put away that had he been completely honest he could have used to part pay his bills and then had us pay the remainder and the kids Christmas. But he probably wanted to provide his kids Christmas himself, in which case all he had to do was say hey I have this amount but I would really like to keep that for the kids Christmas and I would have been fine with that. I think it pi$$ed me so much because it came as such a shock. If I had known in advance I wouldn't have cared.

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  5. #23
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    You sound like a wonderfully generous person, kmetius.


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  7. #24
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    Could it have been stuff he's been paying off for months? (ie layby)

    Or is it possible he's come into a bit of cash and wants to spoil his kids when it sounds like he cant normally?

    You never know, he might have had a windfall and he might have every intention of paying you back when he sees you.. Maybe he hasn't mentioned it as perhaps he wants it to be a surprise for you..

    I dunno..

  8. #25
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    Sometimes it's a pride thing, maybe he needed to do this to feel capable and worthy because hes feeling worthless. He could be feeling depressed coming Christmas, not being able to work and relying on his niece/family to help him with money.
    Although its not right what he did, maybe confront him with caution and talk about why he did this and how it's made you feel. And his kids don't need him to spend so much money on them for him to feel like he's providing or still in some control

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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Sometimes it's a pride thing, maybe he needed to do this to feel capable and worthy because hes feeling worthless. He could be feeling depressed coming Christmas, not being able to work and relying on his niece/family to help him with money.
    This is exactly what I was thinking.

    I know he hasn't come into any money as the only money he is entitled to is his super and they won't release that until after the 27th of this month.
    I don't know if he had lay-bys although considering the amount of time he has been in hospital this year I highly doubt it as he wouldn't have been able to make the payments. Christmas is special to everyone in our family and we all do everything we can to make sure the kids get the best christmas ever each year which means topping the previous year etc so I think it's more likely that he has been putting money away all year to save for Christmas....I know he has had to stop drinking (he still does but only a 6 pack a week compared to what he was drinking) so even if he just saved the money he would have spent on drinks I think it would add up or at least come very close.

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    It would frustrate the hell out of me! He didn't have to buy that much wether hes been saving or not!

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    I would copy and paste what you just wrote and send it in a letter to him. You can do it anonymous so he doesn't know what family member it is. But yeah, I'd be seriously pee'd off too.
    If you have his credit cards, maybe a little trick to teach him a lesson? Rack him up a bit more debt?

  13. #29
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    I'm with Lily on this. If pride is all that you have left, you do whatever you can to maintain it.

    Eg: I could have asked my parents to loan me money last week to buy DS2's Christmas present when it was 20% off, but am instead paying full price now that I have been paid. Pride makes us do silly things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Misschief View Post
    I would copy and paste what you just wrote and send it in a letter to him. You can do it anonymous so he doesn't know what family member it is. But yeah, I'd be seriously pee'd off too.
    If you have his credit cards, maybe a little trick to teach him a lesson? Rack him up a bit more debt?
    so not appropriate that's not a trick that's cruel.

    I'd possibly have a talk but really not alot that can be done

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