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  1. #1
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    Default Friendships & Being a new Mum

    Well, its been a big year for me, with a now 14 mth old.
    But what a year (or 2 if you include the pregnancy) its been in my friendships.
    Friendships just dont feel the same anymore. I feel so much pressure to still be the old me, and make an effort to catch up with everyone... but its not as easy when you have a baby to work around.
    Every conversation that I start or a friend starts gets interrupted because I have to chase the baby or sort the baby out.
    I feel like noone really cares about me and what Ive been up to... or really asks how I am.

    Its so much easier to hang out with the other mums with bubs my age, because they just get it. BUT.. we still never get to finish a conversation.

    It makes me sad, and I feel a bit lost.

  2. #2
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    Kids sure are hard on our friendships! I was dumped by a couple of friends after I had DD1 and I was pretty devastated at the time. It made me more dtermined tho to invest time and effort in my mothers group friends

    Have you got a good circle of mummy friends? Honestly, if my friends don't love and invest in my children then they obviously don't want to be friends with me. Might sound a bit harsh, but that's just how I am

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    Manny  (12-12-2011)

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    Having kids definitely changes your friendships at least for a while. I was guilty of letting friendships with people with babies slide before having DD because I didn't know how to relate to them. I'm now finding that my old friends are starting to have babies and that it is bringing us closer together than ever. Could you start a babysitting group so that you can get a bit more kid-free time to nurture your friendships.

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    I found the same thing as soon as I fell pregnant and couldn't go out every weekend, or just go out to dinner on 30 minutes notice I felt like all my "friends" just couldn't be bothered, especially as none of them are anywhere near having kids.

    I've since met a couple of girlfriends who are great and understand that it's not always easy to organise things having a child, so they always give me plenty of notice or organise something child friendly which I appreciate given I hate being away from my daughter too much.

    It's tough I know, I think when it happens you just need to find the friends who understand and hang on!


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    Manny  (12-12-2011)

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    Me too. All my friends nowadays a mum friends with similarly aged children.

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    I had the same thing happen to me when I had my DS. I had a large group of friends. Only speak to 2 of them on the phone now every few months, and everytime I make plans to see them, something comes up at the last moment, and it's not me that cancels.
    I have 2 friends I have become closer to later on, that are either becoming a Mum for the first time, or already have a couple of kiddies.

  9. #7
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    rachbrown is offline Everyone has a right to be stupid... some however abuse the privilege!
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    Hi ladies.
    I'm finding the same thing.
    I had a lot of friends which have since the birth of my DS in Dec '10 all dropped off the face of the earth. Even mums group and playgroup are becoming scarce.
    So here I am alone with a child and no onto even talk to. The loneliness is palpable...

  10. #8
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    I find the same thing myself. Whenever I mention that I have the girls all invites get cancelled. I have the two cutest little girls, why on earth anyone would NOT want to spend time with them is beyond me. Ok, so I don't do the Friday night thing anymore (I have them every Friday night) they could ask us over for a weekend BBQ or whatever.

    *Grumbles some more about cr@p friends*


 

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