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  1. #131
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vic35 View Post
    I wouldn't make any excuses for him. It is so very easy to send a text, nobody is that busy and if he was really keen, he would have called rather than text. He managed to hang with you the whole next day so he's obviously not too shy.

    I would just enjoy the fact that this guy can give you butterflies, it's an awesome feeling and really makes you feel alive. But personally I think you should just consider it as one great night. There are so few people we are really compatable with so how very romantic to have a wonderful night with an attractive man and leave it at that. Reality is usually nowhere near as good .

    But maybe I'm not talking to you, maybe I'm talking to my younger self who used to keep hoping and give the guy every possible opportunity to start something more. I think guys are able to just enjoy the moment where we will often replay events and think about 'what if?' We also look for lasting connections much more than they do in my opinion.

    I hope I don't sound like I'm from the 50's but the truth is, those who really want to start something more will make much more of an effort. Even if you were standofish. It's only natural to be guarded in the beginning until they have done something to earn your trust and I don't think that would turn a guy off.

    If he texts again then enjoy the butterflies and catch up again if it pans out that way but if you're looking for something more, then I don't think he's the one.
    Yeah I'm completely understanding what you are saying... but truth be told he's not my first ONS and I'm quite ok with it being that. TBH I'm not actually looking for something more - in general - this was a once off. But I am definitely not hanging my hopes on anything. In fact I just feel a little silly. My last text to him mentioned that I was free a couple of nights this week.... I almost want to send a text and say 'Hey just ignore my last text, I feel a bit silly' .... but then I think nah I'll just leave it be.

    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    there is a book (and now i think a movie) called "he's just not that into you"...please please read it!

    The thing is...if you are into someone...you make it happen...you find the time to text.

    Be yourself...but also, don't chase him. I'm not suggesting that you play games...but if you are losing interest...then just don't text back.

    If he wants to see you...he will make sure it happens. If he wants to hear from you and hasn't...he/ll send another text and he won't wait 3 days. If he is a traditional guy....he might feel a bit off put that you texted him first (not that i think it's an issue but guys are weird...they also like to chase).

    You are worth him making an effort...and contact each 3 days...is not an effort!
    Oh I feel like I must sound like an idiot to everyone on here!! I just got a bit excited cos he seemed like a cool guy - I have only sent him 3 texts and he has sent 2 to me.... I'm not chasing him too badly I don't think. Oh well

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    Yeah I'm completely understanding what you are saying... but truth be told he's not my first ONS and I'm quite ok with it being that. TBH I'm not actually looking for something more - in general - this was a once off. But I am definitely not hanging my hopes on anything. In fact I just feel a little silly. My last text to him mentioned that I was free a couple of nights this week.... I almost want to send a text and say 'Hey just ignore my last text, I feel a bit silly' .... but then I think nah I'll just leave it be.
    Don't feel silly!! I don't think there is anything wrong with a ONS or making contact afterwards and I certainly wouldn't take anything back if I were you. Your response was less than in proportion to the enthusiasm he showed in the beginning so you certainly didn't go overboard. I just didn't want you to let this thread carry you away as we all try to live vicariously through you . It's so easy for someone to get under your skin before you even realise that you've been affected by them and nothing sucks more than a broken heart. Especially if you were minding your own business and not looking for anything serious when it blindsides you.

    I don't think you chased him to badly (Oh I could tell some pathetic stories of chasing ). I just personally don't think he's keen enough and I do think he will text again so you need people to keep you grounded for when that happens so that you can enjoy the experience for what it is if that's what you want.

    Goodluck!! And thanks for sharing xx

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  4. #133
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    You don't sound like an idiot

    You sound like someone having a bit of fun

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  6. #134
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    boysrgr8 is offline living with a constant look of OMG!
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    I am pretty sure you know exactly what you are doing! ONS have their place, I think it is healthy to have a bit of fun and know you are still red blooded and attractive to others. He seemed to be a nice guy who stayed AGES after a ONS usually would, so I would have thought the same as you.

    I was grinning like anything when I read your posts about him texting back the first time. I so remember those butterflies. FUN!

    Don't shut yourself off from the world of guys, it is fun. Dating as a mum is so much more intense, you never know if they are worth the risk, but some fun is SO good, and you seem like someone who would take care of yourself first. Goodluck!

  7. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by boysrgr8 View Post
    I am pretty sure you know exactly what you are doing! ONS have their place, I think it is healthy to have a bit of fun and know you are still red blooded and attractive to others. He seemed to be a nice guy who stayed AGES after a ONS usually would, so I would have thought the same as you.

    I was grinning like anything when I read your posts about him texting back the first time. I so remember those butterflies. FUN!

    Don't shut yourself off from the world of guys, it is fun. Dating as a mum is so much more intense, you never know if they are worth the risk, but some fun is SO good, and you seem like someone who would take care of yourself first. Goodluck!
    Hey thanks Yeah I'm pretty realistic about it all.

    He did end up texting last night - apologising for taking so long.. has been crazy busy at work. We texted for a bit then.... I still think he is a nice guy. We 'may' be catching up this week... we'll see. I'm really hesitant now.

    Yeah I think one day I need to put myself out there - I'm still so guarded... plus I wouldn't let a guy be around my kids until I thought he was some kind of stayer.

    Glad I got a few hearts racing on here though!! I'll be sure to update if anything exciting happens

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    As someone who lives with their phone I do get annoyed when people take ages to reply back, but I guess not everyone uses it as much as me! Sounds like he is also busy if he is teaching AND running a business??? Looking forward to hearing about you catching up with him though

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  10. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by AppelsAndOranjes View Post
    As someone who lives with their phone I do get annoyed when people take ages to reply back, but I guess not everyone uses it as much as me! Sounds like he is also busy if he is teaching AND running a business??? Looking forward to hearing about you catching up with him though
    Sorry he WAS a teacher... he is running a business as something different for the time being. Not 2 jobs But yeah I am definitely a text back quickly person too

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    Subscribing lol! I am a single mummy too so this interests me Aww i hope something wonderful comes from this!!! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, go girl!!

  12. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by AppelsAndOranjes View Post
    As someone who lives with their phone I do get annoyed when people take ages to reply back, but I guess not everyone uses it as much as me! Sounds like he is also busy if he is teaching AND running a business??? Looking forward to hearing about you catching up with him though
    I keep my phone on me all the time... But sometimes I just forget to reply! I guess not all my texts need a reply at the moment and I just forget... Lol or my phone doesn't send them... Then I throw a tanty as to why they didnt reply and there my text is sitting waiting to be sent...

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    This is such a cute topic go you Theboys&me!


 

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