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  1. #1
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    Default Help with 15mo behaviour

    I recently posted about my 15mo DD jumping/running/standing on the couches, this hasnt changed unfortunately...

    However, we now have a 1mo DS in the house too and she is getting a bit jealous and I dont know how to over come it.

    Yesterday while DS was on his play mat she tried to stand on his head- I stopped her of course but dont want to have to be like hawk eye all the time.

    How can I get her to start behaving better ie start listening when we say no (or if there is any other suggestions please) and stop climbing on the tables/chairs/couches, closing doors etc, I know she is young and wont really understand why she cant do it but she certainly understands no.
    I have smacked her hand (I know, I know and I really dont want to be that type of parent so I keep it to extreme circumstances ie touching the oven while its on after we have said no and moved her away several times) and tried time out in her room, tried moving her away and distracting her, I just dont know what to try next.

    I have told her in simple terms that 'you cant stand on your brother, it hurts him' etc but still it doesnt stop. I growl and it doesnt seem to get through she never listens.

    Sometimew when I really growl, like Im really actually angry at her, she starts crying and all she wants is a cuddle which I give her. But then I feel like Im cancelling out my growling by doing it. But I feel so bad and it upsets me that I have made her cry like that. I hate being a grumpy mum but find it so hard to disipline her.

    Sorry this is all over the place, Im just a bit upset/overwhelmed by it. I just dont know what to do.

    Any suggestions would be appreciated!

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    Wow! Must be really hard having two so young . Apparently it's really common when you have a new baby to suddenly see your toddler as much older and more capable than they really are - makes sense of course cos babies are so tiny and helpless! I think that's what is happening for you to a certain extent. 15 months is really still a baby and the connections between the neo-cortex and the more primitive parts of the brain are not developed enough for conventional discipline to work. Even though she understands "no" it's highly unlikely that she really understands it or has the self-control necessary to totally modify her behaviour. The first two years are so important for brain development and exploring their environment is crucial for young toddlers. Of course it has to be safe and not harmful to others, but I think the best thing to do is to make the home environment as safe as possible and make sure the baby is out of harms way, rather than try to curtail your DD's need to explore and play. Could you wear the baby in a sling to keep him safe while leaving your hands free. I really feel for you and can tell that you're overwhelmed. I think that if you can accept that your DD's behaviour is normal and important for her development it might be less frustrating for you and much better for her. I hope you have plenty of support. These months will be tough but it will get easier soon

  3. #3
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi jess, I agree with wrena. At 15 months it is just a constant repeat of distraction, there is no point in time out. You need to make sure bub is safe, and you are watching the 15 month all the time. Can you get someone to help when the days get too much for you? You have really got two babies to deal with, be patient, it does get better. Marie.

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    Thanks, I know she is still a baby. Im just finding it extremly hard.
    And unfortunately I dont have anyone to help me here, they are all in NZ. I have met a few nice girls who help with the venting side of things but I wouldnt ask them to help me with the kids yet.

    How do I go about letting DS have tummy time and floor play while DD is awake? Today she was very good, she actually got upset when DP took DS away because he was crying. She was very concerned about him and was patting his back like I was. Cute moment

    We are about to move to a house where there is a decent backyard for her and a bigger bedroom. So maybe itll be easier there where she has more of her own space. She will be free to go in and out as she pleases there, it is a very safe backyard and I have full view from inside if need be.

    Fingers crossed.

    Thanks again!


 

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