View Poll Results: Should children have their father's surname?

Voters
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  • Yes, he is the father regardless and deserves that respect.

    6 6.52%
  • No, they should almost always have their mother's surname.

    1 1.09%
  • It depends on what BOTH parents prefer.

    48 52.17%
  • Only if the man is a regular in the child's life.

    9 9.78%
  • Not if the mother doesn't want it to be.

    10 10.87%
  • Not if they're not a couple when the mother has the baby.

    9 9.78%
  • Other (please tell!)

    9 9.78%
  • WTF? This poll has stupid options! (Shut up - I couldn't think of any better ones! lol)

    0 0%
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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gandalf View Post
    wow, bossy bossy

    i'm the one who thinks they should always have the mother's name. Because i think automatically giving kids the fathers name (plus mum taking on dads name when they get married) is patriachial.

    That said, i didn't read all the options fully because at the time of taking the poll, i had one kid pulling on my arm wanting me to do some baking with him, and the other toddler shrieking in my ear because she wanted 'pretties' and so i answered the poll half-assed.

    I stand by what i said though. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, and everyone can make their own rules. But i think the kids should have the same name as mum, no matter whether thats her maiden name or her married name. *shrug* i'm allowed to be contrary, thanks.
    I'm sorry you took it that way, I just wanted to see if anyone would care to explain. No problem with it but none of the people who picked the first 2 optioms had given an explanation, so thank you for taking the time to answer

  2. #82
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    Im an 'other', i was going to say 'It depends on what BOTH parents prefer' but thats vetoedif mum is single & dad is no where to be seen.


    Trio have DH's name, i didnt want them to have my name cause i wasnt keeping it. Even if we didnt get married, i wouldnt have kept my name. Would have changed it to DH's anyways.

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I'm sorry you took it that way, I just wanted to see if anyone would care to explain. No problem with it but none of the people who picked the first 2 optioms had given an explanation, so thank you for taking the time to answer
    no harm done.
    Just a casual reminder that often polls are answered on the fly, and that not everyone has as much time (that's no dig at anyone - clearly i've been a prolific poster myself even if that's slowed down lately).
    I wish i still had as much time for bubhub as i used to

  4. #84
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    I think there is no right of wrong. It's an individual thing. I have my mothers surname because I never knew my dad. DS has his dad's because I like it better, how superficial. XDP really wanted him to have his surname, and I wasn't overly fussed.

  5. #85
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I think it's completely dependent on the situation at hand. I don't agree with just giving any child it's father's surname willy nilly just because it's the done thing though.

    I had my mother's surname when I was younger because my bio dad wasn't in the picture, I changed it to my step-dad's when he married mum because I wanted the same last name as my future siblings.

    I am planning on changing my surname to DPs (or combining the two together) so when we have kids we all have the same surname. This is important to us mostly because we want all our children to have no doubt we are a family and they are their siblings regardless of the fact that they won't all share the same genetics.

  6. #86
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    I think it depends on the situation, I voted it depends on what both parents prefer. My children have both mine and my ex's last name (hyphenated), while their father isn't a part of their life anymore they do still have a part in their paternal family's life. I have sole parental responsibility so I could change their name and drop their fathers last name if I wanted to but at this stage I don't see a need to do that.

  7. #87
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    DD has her fathers surname, if i wasn't with him at the time she was born she would have had my surname though. She currently goes under a - surname of her dads and DH's surname (she wants to be identified as both!)

    If DH and i have a child together then it will have his surname but same goes, if we split up before the child was born, it would have my surname.


 

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