View Poll Results: Should children have their father's surname?

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  • Yes, he is the father regardless and deserves that respect.

    6 6.52%
  • No, they should almost always have their mother's surname.

    1 1.09%
  • It depends on what BOTH parents prefer.

    48 52.17%
  • Only if the man is a regular in the child's life.

    9 9.78%
  • Not if the mother doesn't want it to be.

    10 10.87%
  • Not if they're not a couple when the mother has the baby.

    9 9.78%
  • Other (please tell!)

    9 9.78%
  • WTF? This poll has stupid options! (Shut up - I couldn't think of any better ones! lol)

    0 0%
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  1. #41
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    I have my mums maiden name. I am the only one of my siblings (oldest of 6) who has this last name. My mums other children all have my step dads last name and my dads other children have his last name. Our DDs have DHs last name. It was never a question of mine or his- I'm not sure why tbh. I wasn't going to change my name when we got married, but DD1 who is 4 over heard me and DH talking about it and asked very sadly "mummy, why don't you want to have the same last name as daddy and sissy?". Can't argue with logic so I agreed to change my name.


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  2. #42
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    I was waiting for this
    In my particular situation, I was not with DP during my last pregnancy, and so gave DS my last name. I was pretty naive in thinking we were in a really good place last time, so had we stayed together I probably would have given DS his last name. In hindsight, SO glad I didn't! We are together...ish, at the moment, but this baby will be taking my last name also.
    I have told DP that their last names won't be changing to his unless we get married, and I am very happy with that decision. I don't regret it at all
    He's not happy about it...but he really doesn't have all that much to do with DS so...meh.

  3. #43
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    Not sure I know of the thread this came from.

  4. #44
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    oops i selected the wrong option. i clicked 'not if the mother doesn't want it to be' but meant 'only if the father is a regular..."

    I have seen a case where the father wanted to be on and the mother deliberately excluded him as revenge. It was cruel and caused endless heartache.

  5. #45
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    depends what both parents agree on in their situation.

    my boys have my husbands last name...as do i.

  6. #46
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    It really depends on the situation, if he isn't going to be a dad, you know actually be there, then I don;t think he deserves that right. DD has DP's last name but we are together and DP has made it clear that I will eventually have his last name too. Just because she doesn't have my last name doesn't give me any less of a mum

  7. #47
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    i wanted us to all have the same last name, so when the babies were born they got my partners - as i was going to marry him. if i could not imagine marrying the feral then no they would not have his name and i would've kept my own.

    i have made it clear that even if we divorce down the track my name is now my name. i will always have the same surname as my babies (until/if the girls marry & decide whether to keep it or not!)

  8. #48
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    My kids have got dps last name.

    My brother was given his fathers last name and the relationship didn't last, plus the guy ended up being a deadbeat, so even though he had his fathers last name on his bc, he was always known as our last name (mum kept her married name from her marriage to my father). He lagally changed his last name about 2 years ago.
    So I believe it's up to the parents and to not be forced into something you don't want.

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  9. #49
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    I think it depends on what the family want.
    DH is Chinese and most women dont take their husbands surnames, in fact his grandmother was Nyonya, and all her daughters have HER surname (and the sons their fathers names) as her bloodline is important

  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    I knew there would be a spin off! Lol
    Well this is how I look at it.
    If a woman is happy to have her partners surname and the children to have the surname then it fine. No issue.
    However I do not think a woman should be forced, guilted or have the good old "tradition" throw at her.
    A woman's surname is no less valuable then a mans. We are no longer the property of a man nor are the children.
    My surname is important to me. Very important it stands for new beginnings and everything my Mother risked her life for. I will not give up my name. Never. Just to see my mother so proud to have our surname is enough to make me cry. I wouldn't be here without her. I am honouring her sacrifices for me. My children would not be here if it wasnt for the hell she went through.
    The fathers of my children know this and respect it. And I have nothing but respect for them for not putting on a fight and being more then happy with it.
    One day I will tell my children our story so they know why they have my surname.
    I agree.

    My child never sees his father so why should he have his name?


 
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