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  1. #1
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    Default Really need help- 14 month old sleep issues

    Hi, hoping someone on here can offer some advice please?

    My DD has always been a terrible sleeper. She fell into a good routine (good for us) when she was about 6 months old. This was only waking 7-8 times a night, but would settle again with the dummy so after how terrible she was as a newborn, this was fantastic for us. (Prior to 6 months she was a nightmare sleeper no routine at all, would rarely sleep at all)

    She still is similar at nighttime but is reluctant to sleep during the day, even though she needs to.

    The problem we have is getting her to sleep. It takes me 45 mins to 1hr, sometimes longer for her to fall asleep.

    Nightime routine

    (After a bath, bottle, story at night) say goodnight, she kisses her dad, she picks up her sleeping bear, put her down. Her room is always the same, lamp on, I check she'll be comfy not too warm etc. Then it starts, she's quiet for 5ish mins, then starts screaming. I leave it about 10-15 secs, go in give her the dummy. As soon as I go in she's usually bouncing up and down in her cot, stops screaming- big smile on her face. Give her the dummy, put her back down, tuck her in etc. This continues for about 45 mins to 1 hour, sometimes longer.

    I've tried to leave her for longer before I go into her, 30/45 secs but she works herself into a state and the following days are much harder again. Tantrums, screaming for longer etc.

    I can honestly count on one hand the nights she has just fallen alseep without me having to go in constantly.

    Daynaps
    She only has one, if she ever sleeps in the afternoon she will wake in the middle of the night, not take dummy, be wide awake and want to play etc.

    Around the same time everyday- when she starts to look tired- she has a story, used to have milk, now has a drink of water, picks up sleeping bear, I explain its nap time and I put her down. Daynaps usually always take longer, which is exhausting, frustrating and im just fed up. She'll only sleep for forty minutes, but I just dont stress because mostly she seems to be fine for the rest of the day, no tired signs etc. But! It drives me nuts that it can take over an hour to get her to sleep for just 40 minutes. I'm really fed up!!

    It also has to be really quiet in the house which makes it really hard, if neighbours slam gates or a car horn sounds outside etc and she's not in a deep sleep it feels as though we literally start from square one.

    DD is meeting all her milestones, growing, developing, walking, starting to talk, doing really well, dropped her bottles (except her nightime one), is a great eater on solids, always has plenty of wet nappies but throughout all of these changes she has remained a terrible sleeper!! Surely it is really bad that she screams EVERY day before bed? Surely that can't be good? I'm seriously worried i've given her some kind of lifetime sleeping issue by not acting sooner but I just don't know what to do??

    Oh, things i've tried... i've tried putting her down before she starts to get tired and also waiting until she is really really tired but this just seems to be more distressing for her. I've also tried staying in her room and saying "shhh, shhh, shhh", lying down next to the cot so she could see me (she just thinks it's playtime). She doesn't like to be held for too long or rocked so have never done this. Tried playing music, doesn't work. Standing over the cot and patting her back/ bum. (Again, thinks it's playtime) Stroking her face, doesn't work. Singing too her, doesn't work. The way i've described above works the best for us.

    Basically, I am fed up of the constant fight and would like to know if my DD is 'normal'? Or if anyone else atleast has similar issues with their children? Does anyone have any advice on how to just get her to fall asleep alone??

    I'm due to have another baby soon and I am really stressed that my new baby will be a similar newborn to my DD and that I will also have the daily sleep battles with my DD to contend with then i'm just going to lose my marbles!

    Thanks if you've read all this, Please, please, please any advice/ reassurance/ tips would be amasing????!!!

  2. #2
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    Do you think she needs the day sleep? What happens if she doesn't have one?

    Have you tried putting her to bed at night later?

    What happens if you put her to bed and don't leave until she is asleep? Just sit there?

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Bubbles10 For This Useful Post:

    sleephelp  (09-12-2011)

  4. #3
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    Hi, thanks for the really quick reply

    She has only just started to have the day sleep since she started walking, two months ago, she seems to wear herself out now. Prior to that I would just have quiet time with her, but yeah, she does need it now.

    When I stay with her in her bedroom she just wants to play and then gets worked up when I don't play with her.

    If we leave her bedtime to later she just gets super cranky and still plays up, it almost seems like its a nasty habit now?! It's really weird because she's ready for bed, she needs sleep but still plays up.

    I actually feel terrible writing all this down because I really feel like I should've acted on her sleeping problems earlier

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    There are similarities with my DD. She had no day sleeps from 9 -12 months (and didn't seem to need one), and then began having one again at 12 months. Then went through a stage of needing a day sleep (about 1.5 hours), which was something new for her.

    After dinner, bath, BF etc, it still takes us an hour or more of sitting next to DDs bed for her to fall asleep. Leaving her doesn't work because she gets worked up. Sometimes she still plays around like a monkey but we try to just say firmly, its bedtime go to sleep. My DD is 19 months now so does understand a bit more.

    We had times of good development in sleep issues at 12 months, 15 months and 18 months so hopefully you might get good things happening soon.

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    sleephelp  (09-12-2011)

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles10 View Post
    There are similarities with my DD. She had no day sleeps from 9 -12 months (and didn't seem to need one), and then began having one again at 12 months. Then went through a stage of needing a day sleep (about 1.5 hours), which was something new for her.

    After dinner, bath, BF etc, it still takes us an hour or more of sitting next to DDs bed for her to fall asleep. Leaving her doesn't work because she gets worked up. Sometimes she still plays around like a monkey but we try to just say firmly, its bedtime go to sleep. My DD is 19 months now so does understand a bit more.

    We had times of good development in sleep issues at 12 months, 15 months and 18 months so hopefully you might get good things happening soon.
    Thanks Bubbles. It's actually refreshing to know it's not just me. All of my friends put their kids to bed and thats the end of it. Was starting to feel like we were the only ones!!


 

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