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  1. #1
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    Default In desperate need of help.

    My ds1 is 3.5 (4 in feb) and he needs to be trained by the end of jan. I'm at my wits end with him and I don't know what else to do. I've tried it all. He hates being without clothes and hates being naked.
    I don't know what to do. DH refuses to help and I'm runnin out of ideas.
    I've tried it all. He has a potty - wont use it. Will use the big toilet but it's once in a blue moon. Bought him undies - he wont wear them.

    If we are out he will go to the toilet but only once. I'm so embarrassed and I'm afraid he won't be able to go to pre-school as he is still in Nappies!
    Please help me / I'm in tears as I don't know what to do


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  2. #2
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    I'm sure you have probably tried everything I can suggest but here goes anyway
    *put a rubber duckie or ping pong ball in the toilet and make a game of aiming for it to make toileting fun
    *take all his nappies, together with him, to a younger child and say that they need his nappies now that he is a big boy and can go on the big toilet like mummy and daddy
    *could you try talking to partner about it and how important it is to you, and if he is comfortable with it, get him to be very open about toileting and let you DS watch so he sees what its all about
    *this is not everyones cup of tea but a friend of mine had similar issues so they took their DS to a nursery, chose a plant together, planted it in the garden and made it the 'wee tree' as a way of starting him off. They then moved on to using the toilet once he had the hang of the whole thing and was used to not weeing in his nappy
    *sticker chart for everytime he tells you he needs to go and actually goes

    HTH and hopefully someone else can give you more advice.

  3. #3
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    It is frustrating toilet training isn't it!

    DS is also 3.5 and he got weeing in the toilet fairly quickly but he would only go standing on a little step near the toilet as he didn't feel safe sitting on it. My DH also would take DS to the toilet with him so he could see what to do. Can you talk to your DH again and explain that your son may learn what to do quicker if he is shown by another male?

    In respect to pooing in the toilet this has taken A LOT longer and it was driving me nuts as DS would poo in the toilet at day care but not at home. We tried everything and had a special toy on the shelf for a couple of months. Then one day DS said he needed to poo and he climbed up on to the toilet and boy did we all celebrate heh

    One thing that became clear is that DS does wants his privacy when he goes to the toilet, especially to do poos and he asks us to leave which is fair given I prefer my privacy also :-)

    Maybe it would help if you relax and let the issue go for a while? Still ask him occassionally if he needs to go but if he says no then let it go for another few hours and ask again. Have you tried a rewards chart? Do you have the seat that they climb on on to sit on the toilet? DS hated the potty and never went on it.

    There is a 3 day potty training program that you can get online, not expensive, that we tried but I didn't have the patience for but many people have had success.

    If all else fails mentioning it to your doctor won't hurt just in case there is any physcial reason.

  4. #4
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    Thank you both for your suggestions. I'll try anything.
    Basically what we've done ATM is when his nappy pants are gone..that's it. I realize I'll probably have to buy something for nights as I doubt he'll get that straight away.

    He never wakes up dry, he tells me when he's gone but not when he has to go. I'll try him standing up...and I'll ask DH to help me again...
    I always ask ds1 if he needs to go and he says no, every time. He has no aversion to actually peeing or pooing on the toilet - he's done it before...it's just that he can't recognize when he needs to go

    Gosh I hope ds2 is easier to train!!


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  5. #5
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    Bump


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  6. #6
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    I recently went to a community run seminar about TT and one of the key messages was to TELL your child to go to the toilet "It's time to sit on the toilet now, It's time to do a wee" etc rather than ASKING. The reason is that the child is likely to be busy playing and will assume that you are giving him a choice (when in fact you aren't).

    They also said to go to the toliet when you are changing activities e.g. sit on as soon as they wake up, sit on before they go outside to play, etc.

    Only do it every 1.5-2hrs so that their bladder has a chance to fill up before emptying and also so that you aren't nagging him all the time.

    I don't know if it works but might be worth a try. Good luck.

  7. #7
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    If he can't recognize that he needs to go, id be going to your GP to see if there is an underlying reason as to why.

    Trying to force him if he doesn't understand he needs to go will stress you both.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by TripleTime View Post
    If he can't recognize that he needs to go, id be going to your GP to see if there is an underlying reason as to why.

    Trying to force him if he doesn't understand he needs to go will stress you both.
    He can when we are out - but not at home..so im not sure.
    He is in undies this morning and we've had one accident do we will see how we go.


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