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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Numb View Post
    that this would be a way to quit bugging me for s e x and we could all be happy...
    This stood out to me. How does communicating via email fulfill his lack of sex? what was the nature of the replies? was it s@x talk or just general chit chat?

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  3. #22
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    I agree with Buttoneska and Bell and Bug.

    It sounds like he is struggling with his feelings and desires, but that doesn't mean it is OK to turn it back on you. If he was just missing s*x, he would be trying to hook up with girls. But he's not. He's possibly feeling very confused and embarrassed about it all. I'm not gay, but I imagine having these feeling when you are married with kids would be very difficult for him.

    It's a really difficult situation and I think counseling will help you both. He needs help to confront his feelings and you need support as I can only imagine how you would be feeling.


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    Last edited by Numb; 28-06-2013 at 15:40.

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    Last edited by Numb; 28-06-2013 at 15:40.

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    I'm sorry. I can only imagine how hard it must be.

    You know, he may not be g a y, he may just be curious. He still needs to be honest with himself and with you, neither of you will get anywhere otherwise.

    Sent from my HTC Desire using BubHub

  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Numb View Post
    I just can't believe this is happening to me... Can't believe he'd do this.....
    (((hugs)))

    You poor thing, you must feel so confused and alone. A similar thing happened with the love of my teenage life. I was devastated when he came out to me. In my case we still had a lot of love for each other, among all the anger and grief. 13 years on we are still friends, but god that was hard won. I can't imagine it now as an adult, a wife and mum. My heart goes out to you both, he must be confused and lonely too.
    My only advice is to ride out the grief and pain you are in but don't let it fester too long. You both need to communicate. Even if it's not going to work out. A mediator or counselor might help. He sounds like he may be embarrassed or ashamed too, which is likely to make him defensive, and an impartial third party might help with that.
    I have no other advice, other than to realise, whether or not he is g ay, it is not your fault xxx

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  10. #27
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    how devastating
    good luck with everything Numb xo

  11. #28
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    no words but plenty of these

  12. #29
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    Sorry to hear you are going through this.
    Hopefully you both get some help soon to sort out your problems.

  13. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    • i don't nec believe it when you DH dismisses his action - he sounds embarrased and also confused about his own desires.
    • i think pretending he didn't have any feelings/attraction/curiosity to this would be really dangerous for you both
    • i think he needs to talk to someone about how he feels
    • i think you need to talk to someone about how you feel
    • i don't think his behavour is a clear result/reaction to your pnd/low libido - i think that is a really sh1tty excuse and diversion - he needs to own it and not minimilise it.
    • he has gone to considerable effort to explore this - i just don't see how he can dismiss it so quickly and easly - like i said i think if you both ignore it could coem back and bite you in a$$
    • i think that good relationships are strong and can get through tough times, both ppls should be able to be honest and express their desires and if its something both ppl are comfortable with they should be able to fufil those desires.



    It was absolutely heartbreaking to read your post; I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. There are probably a lot of aspects to your situation that you are not even able to fully comprehend at the moment. Your DH is probably dealting with a lot of guilt, embarrassment and confusion at the moment (amongst a myriad of other emotions), and although he might be reluctant to discuss these issues further with you or a third party, it would be almost impossible to carry on with your relationship without addressing it. It would always be at the back of your minds. No matter how hurtful the truth *may* be, you deserve honesty, so that you know where to go from here.

    I also want to invite you to the private PND/AND discussion area for further support. The area is password protected, so I'll send you a PM with the information.

    Please look after yourself as best as you can.






 

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