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  1. #961
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Thank you Leannep and zakmick for your replies and support.
    Zakmick you are always so supportive and lovely to chat to and I so appreciate it.
    I am feeling a little better this morning, having hit the bottom of an emotional barrel last night.
    The thing that now stands out for me the most is that I'm just not ready to go on this journey yet. I think I would like some time to enjoy being healthy and having minimal pain for the first time in many years before I start putting my body through this process.
    Whilst I am 25years though, DH is 32 and is very against being an 'old dad'. He has said that 35years is his limit on having another baby. But that still gives me a bit of time.
    I am wondering if I should go to the appointments though so that I have all the information to make a more informed decision after having a break.

  2. #962
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Hi jez you will find some amazing girls on here that are fantastic support and zakmick and alittleray are two great supports on here😄😄 and the best thing is everyone of them has been through the tough ups and downs but we all bounce back like you will Hun. I would still go to your appointment and listen to what they have to say and ask as many questions as you want then you can make your decision but I sounds like a break from the pain is exactly what you need and deserve xxxx

  3. #963
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Thanks Jez, I'm glad I helped last night.. It's a tough road we are on and I think we all support, and help guide each other on here.

    Even with DH being 32, you still have time to enjoy being pain free (human again) and life not being on standstill.

    I would go to the apt, get all the information, read it and then lock it away till your ready to jump on the rollercoaster- just remember to get those ridiculous child protection forms completed!

    I agree with everything Leannep has said too- as she is great support to me!!😉

  4. #964
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    Jez - I have just caught up with this post. Sorry to hear you have been through such a rough time. It does sound like you have come to a decision that works for you which is great. I could really relate to a lot of what you said. I am also very lucky and fortunate to have a beautiful DS but the desire for another child has been really strong for me for a very long time. We are coming close to the end of our journey. Age is not on my side and DH being in his mid 40s is very reluctant to keep going too much longer as he doesn't want to be hitting 50 with a newborn. All I can tell you from my own journey is that going through the process has helped me to reach that place of peace within. I know my limit now, I have found the journey very hard emotionally and I know I can't keep doing it much longer. So our next stim cycle will be our last and if we are unsuccessful, although I will be heartbroken, I now know that I will get through it. There was a time when I didn't think I would ever be able to accept not having another child. I have allowed myself the time to think about what life will be like just the 3 of us, and not what it could be like with another baby. I will let myself have the time to greive for what might have been but I want to enjoy life again and not keep focussing on not being pg each time AF comes. I want to try and accept that DS being an only child won't be a negative expereince for him. We are so lucky to have him and he will always know how much he is loved and cherished and one day I will tell him that I tried to give him siblings but it wasn't meant to be. Having a few months away from it all has made me feel so much more positive about life. I hope that for you the time away also helps. I really hope that you get your BFP soon xxx

    Zamick - Your advice and support is always genuine and unfailing. I appreciate you acknowledging the desire for a second child and how overwhelming that can be. It can be hard sometimes to be able to express that desire when I have a DS and know how much some of you lovely ladies would love to be in the position to have one child, so thank you for understanding xxxx

    Leanne - How are you? I haven't been around for a while so I don't know where you're at with your journey but hoping to hear your BFP soon xxx

    to everyone else, hope you're all well x

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Little Feet For This Useful Post:

    Leannep  (20-08-2012),Zakmick  (20-08-2012)

  6. #965
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Hi everyone, how are you all doing?

    Jez, you sound like you have been through a roller coaster of emotions, all this pressure of fertility treatment isn't easy and sometimes it is hard to make a decision about whether to carry on. I too was like you, I already have 2 kids, and had a huge decision as to whether I wanted to go through treatment again, but I felt that I would always regret not trying to have another. I hope you can move forward whichever option you choose.

    AFM- well I am having a nightmare!!!! I went to the cinema yesterday morning, went to the loo..... When I wiped there was blood! Panic set in, I was so upset. I got home and there was nothing else! Then a few brown streaks( sorry tmi!) and has been very few since. It has all been very small amounts, (tmi again but no pad needed, non hit pants, just when I wipe!) I was sure it was all over, the night before I had had a really bad sleep with a few cramps so was so paranoid it was af. I had like a sharp stabbing pain which I think was around the cervix area that was on and off for the night. I am so worried now, I have cancelled work today, probably going to cancel classes for the rest of the week and take it easy. I called fs who said it could be lots of things but didn't sound like af! She said to try not to worry, but she also said she knew I would!!!!! Aaarrrgggghhhh this 2ww is driving me insane. I was feeling so positive and now I just feel like its gonna be all over.
    Jen x

  7. #966
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    Hi Jen it could be implantation bleed as that's nerver much just when u wipe!! Fingers crossed xxxx when do you have yr bt?

    Little feet it's so nice to have you back when are you cycling again?

    Afm-I'm just waiting for af which should be next week maybe wed? Then I am doing everything possible as I'm pretty sure this is my last cycle as the money's running out and I'm getting too old lol

  8. #967
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Thanks Leanne, I wish I was more optimistic. I have had more spotting today, quite a bit more but it's not af.... Yet. I'm just sure it's round the corner though. I have been so emotional, bursting into tears all the time! Just want it to stop or give me it's worst to stop the worry. I can't sleep well worrying that af is gonna show. Thursday is official test just want an answer.

  9. #968
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    Oh Jen I'm thinking of you hun it's so god dam hard I wish I was Thursday for you so that you could get some answers xxxx

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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Hi Jen, I'm one day behind you and was feeling optimistic until I finished work tonight and had AF like cramps for 1/2 hour or so. I think this one may not be great outcome. I'm hopeful still as cramping has stopped. I'd had lots of twinges but nothing like cramps for past 6 days. I'm 7dp5dt. Had my acupuncture appt today and she didn't find a slippery pulse (sign of preg) but did say my kidney pulse very strong which is a good sign and the points she did really referred to my uterus, I may be clutching at straws, but fingers crossed...

    Are you going to poas? I think I will on Wednesday if AF doesn't show tomorrow.

    I really hope AF stays away for both of us!!!

  11. #970
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Well it's game over for me this month, af started in the night full flow and did poas this morning that was negative. I'm going to call clinic at 9, hoping I can get in for bloods tomorrow instead of Thursday, I work Thursday teaching kids so don't want to be crying around them ( not very professional!) and if I cancel classes I loose out on much needed cash for next cycle! Hoping to get straight into fet this month, do you think they will let me? My ovaries and bloating are fine so wanting to just get on with it. Although i keep looking at ds and wanting to cry he is so special and wonder if I'm just being greedy! DD is 13 and understands everything about the treatment so she is getting emotional too. Just questioning if I'm doing the right thing, but I know I would always think what if if I didn't try.
    Wunsi, how are you? Hoping your pains are your baby snuggling in, it does feel similar to af pains. Fingers crossed its your turn!!!

    Hi to everyone else.

    Jen x


 

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