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  1. #951
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Jez,

    Yearning for a child is no different to you already having one, the feelings would still be the same as many of us who don't have children yet.

    I gave up full time work as I couldn't keep taking time off, and do emergency teaching now. The job i was in was very stressful and taxing. I did find work to be a distraction though, which helps in those difficult times.

    Weight gain can happen to with the drugs.

    The long down reg cycle which is a combination of the pill, nasal spray and injections I honestly struggled with. One of the drugs gave me a constant migraine for 2-3 weeks and I ended up in hospital- that is a worst case scenario.

    Antagonist cycles usually go over 2-3 wk period and I have been lucky in only to have minor headaches and minimal mood swings- more impatience.

    I think with all we have been through( TTC for 6 yrs.- IVF 5 yrs.) we have been lucky that I don't react too negatively towards the drugs as IVF is hard enough without getting mood swings and fighting with your partner on top of it. DH's and mine relationship has not suffered much through ivf (except maybe the bedroom) we have been mostly unscathed.

    Different fertility specialists use different drugs depending on the issues with why you cannot conceive, could you keep your apt, go speak with the experts and then make up your mind? They could tell you the drugs they would be using and tell you the side effects, cost etc..you don't need the child protection form to meet with them, it's just when you start the cycle ( that's what my clinic does)

    On the other hand you need to ask yourself some questions:
    Are YOU going to be happy with your family of 3?
    Are you going to have regrets?
    Do you think your relationship will cope if you suffer mood swings with the drugs?
    What could you do with the money if not spent on ivf?
    Do you think emotionally you can cope- as I hear through your words you are struggling?
    Are you ready to keep putting your life on hold waiting for a BFP?
    Are you being fair to your child?

    Some tough questions, but you need to be in the right headspace to start this journey- as it's a journey. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

    All the best with what you decide x
    Last edited by Zakmick; 18-08-2012 at 23:30.

  2. #952
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    FS has said it would be the long down reg cyle. The info book explains which drugs get taken on which days and what needs to happen on each day of my cycle, it is pretty overwhelming reading it.
    The answers to the questions you have said I should consider conflict each other is the problem

  3. #953
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    FS has said it would be the long down reg cyle. The info book explains which drugs get taken on which days and what needs to happen on each day of my cycle, it is pretty overwhelming reading it.
    The answers to the questions you have said I should consider conflict each other is the problem
    When you have considered everything, even reading the info book do you still want another child?

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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    The question you asked ' are you willinging to keep putting your life on hold waiting for a BFP'? Is one of the ones that leaves me feeling exhausted and over it. That hope, followed by the crushing sadness each month is so very taxing. Every time we try to plan something in advance ( I.e we are wanting to go on a cruise now DD is old enough for the kids club with some of the money we have) we always put it off 'just in case we got a BFP' . We have now been putting things off for the last 2years and 4 months. And each month I think 'just one more month because what if we don't try and next month is THE month.

  5. #955
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Zakmick View Post
    When you have considered everything, even reading the info book do you still want another child?
    I really want another child but I'm not sure it's worth risking my marriage.And if I do IVF and don't get a BFP then I would have missed precious time with DD by being moody, sick etc and I will regret that. I already regret going back to full time wrk when she was so young, thinking I would have more time off when we had another child. I feel like I missed out n staying at home during the baby stages and want that but I'm just going to make the regrets bigger if I don't get a BFP through IVF.
    It's so hard to say ' that's it we are done' and it's so easy to fall into the trap of ' just one more cycle' .

  6. #956
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Quote Originally Posted by jez View Post
    The question you asked ' are you willinging to keep putting your life on hold waiting for a BFP'? Is one of the ones that leaves me feeling exhausted and over it. That hope, followed by the crushing sadness each month is so very taxing. Every time we try to plan something in advance ( I.e we are wanting to go on a cruise now DD is old enough for the kids club with some of the money we have) we always put it off 'just in case we got a BFP' . We have now been putting things off for the last 2years and 4 months. And each month I think 'just one more month because what if we don't try and next month is THE month.
    I know that feeling all to well, overseas holidays especially are difficult. We are planning on going to Sth Africa next year, but things are up in the air due to bl00dy ivf.
    We went on a cruise in feb and decided to freeze all our embryos just prior due to two reasons, one being I developed ovarian hyper stimulation and the other we wanted a holiday were we didn't have to think about ivf- that constant third wheel.

    I know you said this is your best chance of conceiving due to the lap, could it happen naturally? Or have you had Laps before?

    Thinking outside the box, could you put the iud in and then remove it in a year or two when you have had a break, then try ivf? As with your age you would still be in a good age bracket?

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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    This was my first lap. It has taken several years before finally a DR would listen to me about my pain and symptoms. In the end I researched endo and other things that kept popping up in these threads and just knew that was my problem. First appt with a new FS here in Melbourne and he had me booked for the lap two weeks later. He was disgusted it hadn't been done a lot sooner. My uterus was also glued to my stomach wall which could have happened after my emergency c section with DD. at the time I kept telling the doctors I was in excruciating pain and they didn't take me seriously. Now I know it was because as my uterus was shrinking back to normal size it was pulling my stomach wall.
    I guess I could put the IUD in and then try later. The risk is the IUD will only slow the endo down and we dont know by how much. So if I wait I could need another lap before IVF. I had endo everywhere and huge masses growing so we know it's very severe. It's still on my bowel but my bowel is stuck to my uterus and it's risky to separate the two, so whilst ever I can live with the discomfort and pain the surgeon would prefer to leave it alone.
    I have wondered about waiting myself though and perhaps seeing how I feel in a year or so once we have had a break from it all. But was told my best chance is now. FS has said that we have a 50% chance of getting a BFP via IVF at the moment and that 80% of couples with our issues and age conceive in 3 cycles. which i know are good odds but its still just numbers really. I could be in the 80% or the 20%. I also worry that if I got a BFP then miscarried I would not cope and it would crush me.
    Either way the lap was not a waste because it has given me a much better quality of life.

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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    Oh and as for naturally. FS originally said ( before the lap) he would give me 3 months to try naturally before IVF after the lap as it can increase your chances. But at my follow up appointment he said we should move straight to IVF. I assume the change of heart was to start cycles whist I have the least amount of endo because each month I have a menstrual cycle it can come back a bit more and it was so so much worse than he expected. But I don't know what the chances are of it happening naturally.

  9. #959
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    Default **Calling all Melb Girls Chat #6

    My sister goes in for laps every 12-18 mths she has it as severe as you, at one stage they put some baskets (cant remember what they were made from) around her ovaries as they kept sticking to other organs due to the endo, I see her in so much pain so I can imagine what it is like for you.

    If I was in your position I think I would put the iud in, have a break, see how life is with the three of you and reassess in 12 mths time or so. Start to enjoy life, go on that cruise and enjoy every moment with dd.

    Even if you do need to have another lap down the track it's not an unknown, you know what to expect and unfortunately if your endo is as severe as your saying I don't think it will be your last, so you could you do ivf within the next 15 yrs. Obviously your odds decrease as you age but you do have time to think. X

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    Hi jez I feel for you Hun this journey is so long and hard and so draining to me you sound like you need a good Ivf break just to live Ivf free for a few months😌 it's a tough decision but it's not worth loosing yr marriage over so if it was me have even just a few months off and then look at it all again you do have a great advantage of being so young and I can tell you that wonderful compared to some of us old chooks lol Jez I'm thinking of you in this supper tough time xxxx


 

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