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  1. #621
    Zakmick's Avatar
    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Thanks girls for all your amazing kind words. DH and I have locked ourselves away from the world this weekend and have had long talks about the future and are armed with a list of questions for FS.
    We have 2 frosties left, so we will reassess after that if we continue with ivf or need to look at a surrogate. I just feel this biopsy will give us some answers on whether i can carry a baby to term or if there is something wrong with the embryo when fertilised.
    FS has advised in the past he didn't think testing was warranted on the embryo as our karotyping came back normal.
    Hopefully know more tomorrow. Thankyou again!!

    Xox

  2. #622
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Trace123 your wonderful news on your 12 wk scan was overshadowed by my news- I'm sorry!
    Congratulations that would have been a very emotional scan and such a joy x

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    Zamick - I am so so sorry. I don't have the words to express how sad I feel for you. I wish you didn't have to go through this again. In spite of it all you sound amazingly strong and prepared to face your FS. I hope that you get the answers you need. Thinking of you and your DH.

    Trace123 - WOW! You certainly have waited a long time for this little one. Congratulations! I can't imagine how amazing it must have been for you to see your bub!

    to everyone else. Thanks for all the support you guys have shown me since my BFN. I haven't been on here much as I kind of withdrew, it really hit me hard when AF arrived. Your words have kept me going and helped me feel stronger so thank you all xxxxxx

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    Zakmick  (20-05-2012)

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    Zakmick, I was devastated to hear your news. IVF is such a roller-coaster of a journey. I hope you FS will follow through on your concerns this time. HUGS to you and your DH.

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    Zakmick  (20-05-2012)

  7. #625
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    Zakmick good luck tomorrow I have been thinking of you heaps xxx

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    Hi ladies , I'm still trying to keep up with this thread but don't post at the moment as have been waiting on my records to get transferred from Canberra to Melbourne so we can start with a new FS here. Just wanted to come in for a little support today as expressing this to anyone else sounds so selfish and mean. BUT I'm having a really down night. Its only May and so far this year my sister in law had baby number 2, my half sister had her baby, my best friend had baby number 2, another close friend had baby number 2, my cousin announced her pregnancy and just tonight another one of my close friends messages to tell me she was pregnant ( first time trying on her honeymoon) . out of my friendship group of 5 of us one is pregnant and the other two had their second children this year ( their first children are close in age to my DD). I'm really happy that they are happy but I'm tired of the constant emotions it brings up in me and can't help thinking how unfair it is. I Started trying to conceive before any of these friends and family were and many of them have there bubs already and I don't even know why I can't get pregnant yet. I want to scream "ITS MY BLOODY TURN". I feel like such a ***** because I really have amazing friends who have been very supportive through my fertility treatments.

  10. #627
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Jez,

    I can count about 15 people I know who are currently pregnant and until the weekend I thought I was going to join them on that journey too.

    I'm definitely in the place at the moment that's it's not fair, when is it our turn to be happy - just angry at the world.

    I feel I have lost friends over the years due to not having kids when they did ( we like you were ttc before any of them) as they have play dates and catch up at kids parties etc.

    I get through all of this by spending time with my nieces and nephews and being a huge part of their lives, if I didn't have them I think I would really struggle. They take the edge off so to speak.

    All the emotions you are feeling are normal, but I have learnt (it's taken a very long time) that to have a child is a gift and I am so happy that my friends and family are able to have that gift because I would not want my worst enemy to have to go through what we do. And i would rather be part of all their journeys than be shut out, like it was a few years ago. I would be the last to know someone was pregnant due to them not upsetting me- wouldn't even get invited to baby showers. That's changed now thankfully.

    The green eyed monster still comes out though sometimes- DH sees this!

    It still gets to me (often) as all I want is to have our own child and not just have a niece/ nephew for a sleepover. however I have strong support surrounding me that go through everything with me, and 2 SIL who have had success through ivf too- so we have seen first hand it can happen.

    It would be so nice though to see a light at the end if the tunnel for a change x

  11. #628
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    hi ladies

    Zakmick I was so so sorry to hear of your bad news. It is just not fair. Hugs

    I also have days when I get angry at the world and think it is incredibly unfair at the journey and the cost we go through when so many others take it for granted. I also try and see the positive side. With research and technology and ISCI we are a lot luckier than others were say 15 years ago. I also see the other side - I am from NZ and in Australia we are so so very lucky to be able to undertake IVF and get $$$ back from the government. In NZ there are lengthy waiting lists and if you get success that is it - you pay private from then on.

    How is everyone else travelling?

    I have my BT on Friday - not sure which way it is going to go. If this one doesnt work we will need to go back for another stim cycle. For some reason my test is 13 days after 6 day blast FET does that sound normal or incredibly long time???

    Have a good day all.

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  13. #629
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    Jez, just wanted to add to what others have said, your feelings are completely normal. You're not alone in your experiences and the feelings it brings up in you. I too have been trying for years and since then have seen friends and collegues get pregnant very easily. Even two collegues who were going through ivf for a couple of yrs have also now fallen pregnant.

    It is very hard for anyone who hasn't experienced this to understand what it is like, I went out for lunch with one girl from work last yr when she was pregnant and she tried to compare how frustrating it was for her to DTD every day after she went off the pill.... and within that week she was pregnant... not really a comparison to the frustration of trying for years and undergoing expensive ivf and suffering disspaointment after dissapointment!

    Like Zakmick said, it can be difficult when everyone around you is having kids and you feel it is so unfair when will it be your turn. I too have a gorgeous 4 turning 5 yr old niece (all other nephews and nieces are grown up) and I spend a lot of time with her, taking her out, sleep overs, buying her anything she wants lol. I know that I use this as a way of coping and I'm thankful ive got her, being an aunty is a blessing too.

    As hard as it is, I still try to be happy for people because as others have said, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it is hard not to be jelous sometimes.

    Hang in there!

    Midnite - all the best for your BT

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    Zakmick, I hope you get your questions answered when you have your appointment and they are able to suggest where to go from here to improve your chances. Take care

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    Zakmick  (25-05-2012)


 

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