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  1. #41
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    That's part of the problem he has never dealt with his issues from his upbringing so fails to see what he does as something wrong.

    All the pain and manipulation from his childhood he is a broken man that won't try to fix himself but to protect himself from rejection by pushing others away with his actions.

    Its a sad story but I need to move on and protect my son.

    Most of my family have drifted apart or into little groups that snipe at the others, so I don't think it will be all that hard to miss them, over time have had two sisters I hardly know and two brothers I hardly know and two that I do but am somewhat ashamed of one as he is so sexist

    My mother seems to want to care but it just seems so fake and unnatural....as she has never been interested in me all that much before, but now that I am comfortable will being affectionate with my partners family (hugging when saying hello and goodbye) that she tries to force me to hug her too!?

    It actually makes me unwilling to want to hug my partners family now and I hate it when my mother tries to hug me.

  2. #42
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    Hi BebeBurton,

    DH is back is being very supportive but leaving this decision mainly up to me.

    My mother keeps harressing me after I told her I need some space, and am yet to speak to the rest of my family.

    DS is on the mend but spent the whole day in FDC not eating or drink and being so upset he almost made the carer cry

    he goes into the childcare center tomorrow that he seems to enjoy more so hopefully will go better.

    DH wants me to think very carefully about this decision to exclude my father from our lives....but not telling me too or not too either.

    I am just very sad at the moment that it has come to this and starting to grieve for the relationship we could have had......

    Thanks for checking in on me....I think this will be a long and difficult process.

  3. #43
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    Last edited by Guest1234; 15-01-2012 at 12:12.

  4. #44
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    I am not sure if I am doing the right thing anymore

    I still feel so sad and confused but then every time my mother tries to talk to me after I have asked her to give me some space I remember how they disregard my feelings etc and I get angry again.

    Belle and Bug please tell me things will settle down soon. I want to stop feeling so down...

    I have brought my father a new set top box, that he will have no need for but not sure if it is being childish or admitting that I was in the wrong when I know I wasn't.....

    Advice please?

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    Last edited by Guest1234; 15-01-2012 at 10:55.

  6. #46
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    These two links are aimed at daughters of narcissistic mothers, but I have found them to be pretty flexible with cutting out/limiting contact with any toxic people.
    No contact - http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmo...o-contact.html
    Limited contact - http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmo...w-contact.html

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Guest1234 For This Useful Post:

    GluttonForPunishment  (16-12-2011)

  8. #47
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    I have never been in your position so I cannot relate to it but in theory I would be reminding myself why I needed to cut off the relationship in the first place.

    Maybe keeping a journal to express your feelings and which you can read back when you feel overwhelmed may help.

    Maybe writing a letter to your may help - even if she doesn't respond or change her behaviour you will have an opportunity to tell her how you feel without her ignoring you or trying to talk over you.

  9. #48
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    Bell & Bug - Thank you! Those websites are brilliant! and they will go a long way with me sorting out my 'appointment' with my mother!

    louellyn - I have thought of writing a letter - more so for myself otherwise it has the potential to be used against me at a future date. But I do find writing things down helps a lot and can see how far I have come since I was a teen.

    Is pretty shocking sometimes to read back on how things were then....


 

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