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  1. #461
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    Hugs to you jeb. I know how hard it is to see that bfn staring you in the face . In my 3 cycles I've never made it to BT. AF is such a slap in the face. You and your dh take care of yourself and definitely line up a follow up appt. Somewhere there is a thread on questions to ask FS after a failed cycle and EO wrote a brilliant list. I'll find it and link it to you xx


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  2. #462
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    Thanks Bella.. I'm not sure whether I should still have the blood test to check my levels (especially progesterone) cos if AF came early then I'm worried I didn't have enough progesterone (though in blaming myself for not starting to take it until the day after transfer) to support my emby.. I still can't believe the little blighter is gone I feel like a fool who was talking and singing to herself every day..

    Every time I go to the bathroom and wipe I start bawling all over again

    I'm going to ring my Clinic tomorrow to arrange a follow up appointment to discuss our options.. I don't think we will be able to do a cycle in March (maybe we might - my mother-in-law has kindly offered to loan us the money so will depend on what the FS says) otherwise it will be May after our whitsundays holiday in April

    Thanks for all the support girls

  3. #463
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    I'd go for the BT as your levels might shed some light on why this cycle didn't work. I know it's hard (emotionally) to go for the BT when you know it's a negative but it maybe useful for your next cycle


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  4. #464
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    , jeb8303.
    I'd forgotten how hard the first BFN was. You say you start crying whenever you go to the loo and wipe. I couldn't even say the word "period" without bursting into tears. (Sorry if I've just made you cry again .)

    You didn't start the progesterone too late, so don't hold any regrets over that. Your progesterone would still have been high enough when you commenced the support. I didn't make it to BT on my first cycle either, but did (sometimes only just) on the rest. My sister only made it to BT once (that was the time she was pg). Sometimes I think think that Drs only give progesterone support to every woman so that we don't harass them about feeling like we need to be doing something medical like injections every day to help the cycle. (But I do know that's not actually true.)

    You should still have your BT. It's good to have an idea how high you need to keep your progesterone to keep AF away, and to know if your emby tried to do a chemical pg or if it didn't get that far. The clinic say that you want to keep progesterone above 30 to keep AF away, but I get pre-AF symptoms at about 40, and start spotting at about 35.

    Also, I know a girl (through a different forum, and I hope she doesn't mind me relating her story here) whose hCG is doubling really nicely, but who started AF 3 days before BT was scheduled. She got them to do her BT early (hCG=26, P4=54) but AF was so full on that she stopped using progesterone support in the belief that she was miscarrying. Over two days P4 dropped to 2.5, but hCG rose to 125 so she resumed progesterone support. Bleeding stopped on Friday with P4=21 and hCG=356. I don't know yet how the story ends (her next BT is tomorrow), but I think this illustrates that a cycle is not over until the clinic says it is.

    Take care of yourself.

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  6. #465
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    Thanks felicitia... DH is feeling it too.. He hates seeing me so upset at all this cos of his MFI..

    We are just feeling so distressed and don't know what to do

  7. #466
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    Oh Jeb, I'm sorry. The girls are right, make sure you take yourself for the test a d to see your FS just to be sure and to learn anything that might help for next time. You and your DH take care of yourselves through this hard time. xxoo

  8. #467
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    lola77 is offline BH Advocate - Sydney: Northern Beaches
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    Hugs jeb.

    My clinic insist in the BT as it may help to see how your body responded and inform future cycles.

    Getting that first BFN is so hard. I was lucky to fall pg on my first attempt when I got only 2 eggs! I walked into my 2nd cycle 2 years later full of confidence that id have a baby before Christmas. I built up in my mind how id tell people, how perfect Christmas would be and how I'd be able to escape my job. I gave the impression of ease to my friends too, so everyone was pretty shocked when I got BFN. I've just done cycle number 6 and I say that not to try and shock you into reality, but to show how each cycle is different. I'm not sure if you can see my signature but last year I had 2 BFNs, a miscarriage, a crappy cycle with nothing to transfer and then a cycle which actually produced a frosty.

    You have so much invested in a cycle that it feels like failure when it doesn't work.

    I know when I first joined bh and read about people's journeys, I got really down seeing how long it took (or was still taking) people to get pregnant. We are given the impression that IVF is the great 'fix all' to infertility issues and that just creates false hope.

    However, there are many many stories to take inspiration from. Just in this thread, felicity and EO have struggled time after time and tried every conceivable option to get them their BFPs. If you read around there are many more people who have got there, and I personally know of at least 3 people on here who have conceived naturally after IVF.

    The motto I hear frequently in IVF IS 'hope for the best, expect the worst', but I prefer EOs (badly quoting cos I'm on my phone and can't see it) "don't say you've failed until you've reached your last attempt, don't say you've reached your last attempt until you've succeeded"

    Take some time to regroup and try again when you're ready.


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  10. #468
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    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Jeb: So sorry to hear your news. The BFN’s really hurt and you need to take the time to heal before going into your next cycle. What hurt the most for me was we were only doing IVF due to sever MFI so i couldn’t understand why my embryos weren’t sticking as i was so fit and healthy and had nothing wrong with me. I totally agree with the other ladies, definitely get the BT so the clinic can see what your levels are so they can make the necessary changes for your next cycle. Sending you big hugs.


    TTHC: Thinking of you today gorgeous and can’t wait to hear the day 3 update of your little rockstars. Hope the bloating is staying away and you’re feeling OK after the EPU. So cute of your DS running up and kissing you and then continue playing, he must know his mummy needs a bit of rest.


    Quartz: I drank 250ml of Pom juice every second day, its very sweet so i diluted mine with water. I started it around CD 4 from memory and stopped it the day before ET. How are the meds going this time hon? When is your first US?


    Felicita: How are you feeling? Is it starting to sink in yet? How is your Nan going? Hope she is getting better and gaining more strength each day.


    Traveler: How are you going hon? Hoping so much that the spotting has stopped and you are feeling better after the hormones settle a bit. My DH hates that term as well, he thinks i am call him a D&%$k Head :-)


    Bebe: So sorry to hear your scan guy was a ****. They should really take a look at what profession they are in and show a little more consideration. I only go to Sydney Ultrasound for women and find them to be fantastic. Very thorough and tell you everything. So glad to hear your lil one is growing nicely.


    Pink: OMG i can’t believe you have 7 days to go. I am so excited for you, can’t wait to see what you’re having. I have always thought you were having a boy for some reason. Which hospital are you going to?


    Lindylou: How are you hon? When is AF due? Any more camping trips planned before you start another cycle? When do you hear back about the outcome for the role you interviewed for?

  11. #469
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    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Nat: Hope the floods haven’t affected you too much, it’s crazy how quick they came over and how bad they were. There has been 2 of them in the last week now hasn’t there?


    Peonies & Jessesgirl: The pomegranate juice is only to be taken up until Transfer, it’s used to help thicken the lining, there are articles out there stating about MC from it but there are also lots of stories about the same thing from the old wives tales about pineapple juice. You just need to do what makes YOU feel comfortable. I drank the Pom juice up until ET and then ate Pineapple for 5 days after ET.


    Catemer: Wishing you all the best for your ET today. I drink peppermint tea for my bloated tummy and it helps a lot with the discomfort. Hope your DP is feeling better soon.


    Bella: Have you started your new cycle yet hon?


    Alison12: All the best for your EPU today, hope they retrieve lots of lovely mature eggies for you.


    Lola: How are you going in the TWW honey? Hope you’re in laws aren’t causing you too much grief.


    Sorry if i missed anyone, our thread is huge at the moment.


    AFM: Well it still hasn’t really sunk in and i still don’t have any symptoms, my nipples are a tiny bit sore today, the only one thing i have really noticed is how hot i am. I have just been for my second BT to check my levels are doubling. My clinic said there was no need but being the natural worrier i am i insisted. I made a huge mistake yesterday and googled high HCG levels and got 1 very disturbing article that said it can be a sign of down syndrome! I was so upset last night, my Nurse has assured me that it’s not the case, so i really need to stay well clear of Dr Google. The worry never seems to disappear................, only 3 weeks until my U/S.

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  13. #470
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    EO - I don't think any of us have to worry an iota about Downs. Even when ppl get "high risk" results, they're still usually a much lower chance than the odds IVF working, and we've seen how hard that is to land a BFP with those higher odds.

    Catemer - Good luck with DP's transfer today.


 

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