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  1. #1
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    Default PND and natural parenting

    My first son has been lucky enough to get the best of me and has had a loving nurturing mother... until seven weeks ago when number two came along
    Actually if I'm completely honest i would have to say that during the late stages of pregnancy was when the depression started.
    My poor darling second son has had a very different experience. I am short tempered, tired, angry and resentful that I have to be so attentive to my children and have no time to do the basic housework, let alone any time for myself. Sometimes I hear the baby cry and I just think "shut up already" instead of how I reacted when my first son was born, lovingly and attentively. I realized today that sometimes I don't even make eye contact when I pick him up. I am feeling so guilty and disappointed in myself as I want to raise my children from an AP point of view, but just find I don't have any energy to give at the moment.
    Anybody else been there? Any advice or resources you can recommend?
    I have been prescribed citalopram but as I am breast feeding have not started taking them. The local hospital has a unit specially for PND but I can't be seen until Jan the 19th. I was hoping someone may be able to point me in the direction of some reading that may help me lift my head out of the fog.
    I don't know why this is happening, I had a cruisey pregnancy, easy child birth (apart from him being born in the car out the front of the hospital as we did'nt make it inside). I had some early attachment problems with breast feeding but all good now...
    TIA

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    Big
    I have no advice but really feel for you and wish I could help you out. It must be so tough to feel you're not being the parent you want to be.
    Do you have enough support to get some time to pamper yourself? How's your diet? I remember reading somewhere that essential fatty acids can help to combat PND. Are you taking a high strength fish oil?
    I hope someone has some more helpful advice for you and that things start looking up

  3. #3
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    threechooks is offline If my spelling annoys you that's your problem.... I have better things to do than proofread !
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    Call mothersafe medications in pregnancy and lactation 1800 647 848. they can advise you how to safely take this medication while feeding if it is possible.

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    AllYouNeedIsLove  (29-11-2011)

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    I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way mumma inky. Last week I asked the girls in the PND/AND private discussion area if it was a normal, a lot of had the same feeling a few times.
    When you suffer from PND, you're in a vulnerable state and you're energy is focused on yourself because your body is trying to heal you. When you're vulnerable & aren't in a positive state of mind, it's hard to give yourself to the people around you. It isn't a great feeling and I understand the guilt that comes along with it, but you've got to remember that it's normal.
    Are you seeing a good psychologist that you feel you can connect with and be open and honest with?
    Last week I couldn't even look at my son. I felt so numb towards him. I read a thread on bub hub last week, and mothers were talking about how much they loved their children & how their heart skipped a beat or they felt butterflies when they looked their children... I broke down because I feel that very rarely.
    Just know, that yes, it is normal and that in time you will heal and you will be the mother that you want to be. Love yourself right now, treat yourself kindly and just know that there will be a day where you will feel better.
    Please PM me if you need to talk or have any questions xx
    Last edited by SugarSkull; 29-11-2011 at 16:46.

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    I agree, do you have someone to help out?

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    I don't really have a lot of help. Hubby is great with DS1, gets up to him overnight and gets him ready in the morning, but that is only when he doesn't have work which is usually once a week. Both are families live a few hours away and my mum has her own health problems ATM. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful mothers group but we only catch up every second week as most have returned to work.
    I have not seen a counsellor as yet as the one the doc referred me too can't see me until Jan.
    My diet is terrible that is something I can work on for sure!
    Time to myself is something I craved with DS1 and never got, I think it would make a real difference. I keep talking about hiring someone to come around a few afternoons to watch the kids so I can do some house work and have shower and wash my hair ect, but I still haven't done it. I feel guilty about admitting I ned time away from the kids, but I think it's something I'll have to do so I can get my spark back!

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    Can they refer you onto somebody sooner than January? There would have to be another psychologist they can refer you to. Maybe you can even call a counseling helpline until then?
    Diet & exercise does play an important role. B vitamins are great at a time like this, you need to boost up on your fish oil, flaxseed oil & evening primrose oil I'd great. Keeping yourself hydrated is important.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumma inky View Post
    I don't really have a lot of help. Hubby is great with DS1, gets up to him overnight and gets him ready in the morning, but that is only when he doesn't have work which is usually once a week. Both are families live a few hours away and my mum has her own health problems ATM. I am lucky enough to have a wonderful mothers group but we only catch up every second week as most have returned to work.
    I have not seen a counsellor as yet as the one the doc referred me too can't see me until Jan.
    My diet is terrible that is something I can work on for sure!
    Time to myself is something I craved with DS1 and never got, I think it would make a real difference. I keep talking about hiring someone to come around a few afternoons to watch the kids so I can do some house work and have shower and wash my hair ect, but I still haven't done it. I feel guilty about admitting I ned time away from the kids, but I think it's something I'll have to do so I can get my spark back!
    Try not to feel guilty about needing some time away from the kids. Every mother needs it. I decided to stop feeling guilty and make sure I go out with a friend once a week to dinner or even let my mother or in laws babysit while DH and I go out to lunch or just relax at home. It has helped a great deal. It gets you away from that world & gives you a chance to be the beautiful *you* not mum, not wife, just you.

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    Oh and get your hormones, B vitamins & iron checked. Especially your hormones! It plays a huge part. Check out this thread I posted a few days ago on progesterone & PND.
    http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f....php?p=6221005

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    I could've written this I don't have any real advice as I still struggle but I wanted to let you know you're not alone and it does get easier, time away really does help and if you can one on one with ds1 (no baby) may help too it is ok to want someone else to come in and if you can afford it fantastic be kind to yourself, get yourself checked out and make some changes to your diet exercise and get out of the house where you can too that helped me immensely have you tried looking for some other play groups? I hope you can find your way out of the fog soon xx


 

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