Question for co sleeping parents

**Shoopuf** · 27-11-2011 06:38

I've been looking into this whole co sleeping thing, and I just wondered if anyone could help me with a few questions I have?

1. Can you co sleep with a newborn, and if so, how do you make it safe?

2. Is it more difficult for co sleeping kids to adjust to sleeping in their own beds once they're older, than it is for non co sleeping kids? I hope that makes sense!

The reason I ask is because my cousin co slept with her parents, and she is now 15 and can't sleep in a bed alone. She has to touch human skin to fall asleep, which made life pretty uncomfortable last time she stayed with us

It isn't like she is just making it up either - she just flat out won't sleep if there isn't someone beside her. Her Mum has been trying to get her into her own bed since she was 10 - did she just leave it too long?

I really like the idea of co sleeping when we eventually have a baby, but I don't want to find myself in the position of my Aunt who has a 15 year old in her bed spooning her every night.

I know there is a load of info out there on co sleeping, but I prefer hearing actual people's experiences.

TIA

**bugsy** · 27-11-2011 06:57

I co-slept with DD1 until she was 18 months. She is a great independent sleeper now at 7. I had no problems moving her into a cot once she stopped feeding at night, and once in a bed, she has always stayed in bed all night.

Safety: I used blankets, not doonas, had blankets at my chest height, and bubs tucked under my arm.

I'm enjoying co-sleeping now with my 11 week old. It's so much easier for night feeds, and she sleeps so soundly at night, and wakes up so happy to see mum and dad every morning.

Co-sleeping for ten years, however, no way. I want my bed back within the next year or so.

**Boobycino** · 27-11-2011 06:58

That sounds like a pretty extreme situation. Has anything traumatic happened to your niece that your aware of? I wouldn't think that's 'because' of cosleeping. Does she have anxiety maybe? Have they taken her to see anyone? I probably would ASAP at 15, being worried something like that leads her to feel she needs to be promiscuous to meet that need in the next couple of years iykwim? Just a thought.

Anyhoooo

With cosleeping, same sort of SIDS guidelines, I wouldn't cosleep with a newborn on a pillow top mattress, only a firm mattress, only have one pillow, and a tucked in sheet rather than thick blankets and dress warmly of your cold. Most importantly don't smoke, drink or take drowsy medications while bedsharing.

More info from sids & kids website -
http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-conten...-with-Baby.pdf

You can also get a respisense breathing monitor - http://www.respisense.com/en/index.php

**Me&MrMagoo** · 27-11-2011 07:15

I coslept with ds in a snuggle bed til he was about two months old ... Then followed all safe co sleeping guidelines ...

At two he's still cosleeping but most nights I will start him off in his own bed so I can have some space - for such a tiny person he is an incredible bed hog!!! He's fine in his own bed but I miss him when he's not with me

*** end of transmission ***

**little talks** · 27-11-2011 07:52

I had a little bed thing I put In my bed while he was little.. Hes now 2 and I can put him in his bed for day naps and at night if I want some loving.. But we always drag him back in.. We feel bad for him sleeping alone lol

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**missie_mack** · 27-11-2011 08:12

You know its funny up until about 60-70 years ago it was very common for people to cosleep with family, not sure why it makes people so uncomfortable because we are just sleeping (well at least that is what I am doing lol)

Like boobycino said as long as you follow the safe cosleeping rules you should be all good. My DS is what I consider a longerterm cosleeper. He has health issues and cosleeping has been good to monitor his health during the night. He has just transitioned into a normal bed quite smoothly. My brother use to sneak it my parents bed until he started high school (where then he decided he was too cool for it lol).
Its lovely with a young baby, particularly if you are breastfeeding. They have the ability to latch on themselves and feed during the night so everyone is getting a reasonable amount of sleep. I also found when we coslept with my DS he was much gentler with us

**Shoopuf** · 27-11-2011 08:13

Originally Posted by Boobycino

That sounds like a pretty extreme situation. Has anything traumatic happened to your niece that your aware of? I wouldn't think that's 'because' of cosleeping. Does she have anxiety maybe? Have they taken her to see anyone? I probably would ASAP at 15, being worried something like that leads her to feel she needs to be promiscuous to meet that need in the next couple of years iykwim? Just a thought.

Not that I know of. She seems perfectly fine ... until bedtime. She doesn't scream and suck her thumb or anything lol, she will just stay up all night on the couch watching movies and stuff if there is no one to share a bed with.

Glad to hear that is probably the extreme though ... She is just the only person I've ever known who co slept, so I thought that was kind of the norm iykwim?

Originally Posted by Me&MrMagoo

I coslept with ds in a snuggle bed til he was about two months old ... Then followed all safe co sleeping guidelines ...

What's a snuggle bed Magoo?

**Boobycino** · 27-11-2011 08:26

Okay. Hmm... Is she a immature 15 year old? That just strikes me as a little odd.

My brother and I both happily snuggled in bed with our mum into our teens. My brother coslept till 2.5 and I didn't at all, but we were both very comfortable to bed share with our parents until we left home. But that's a bit different. And I'd still happily bed share with my mum. But it's not like we needed to cosleep as teens.

With jasper, he's just turned 3 and we are transitioning him out of our bed with mixed success. Lol. It's a little difficult. But I wouldn't have done it any differently & planning to cosleep with little miss.

**BornToBe** · 27-11-2011 08:40

My nine-month old babe basically just sleeps in my arms. That way there is no danger from pillows, blankets etc. Her face is quite close to mine I suppose and she certainly lets me know if anything bothers her through the night with a big squirmy wiggle and a whinge. She's been in our bed since birth and I can't imagine it any other way.
Now that number two may be joining us, I'm not sure how to transition things... we already have a king bed and DH already complains about us hogging the bed!

**Shoopuf** · 27-11-2011 08:50

Originally Posted by Boobycino

Okay. Hmm... Is she a immature 15 year old? That just strikes me as a little odd.

My brother and I both happily snuggled in bed with our mum into our teens. My brother coslept till 2.5 and I didn't at all, but we were very comfortable to bed share with our parents until we left home. But that's a bit different. And I'd still happily bed share with my mum. But it's not like we needed to cosleep as teens.

With jasper, he's just turned 3 and we are transitioning him out of our bed with mixed success. Lol. It's a little difficult. But I wouldn't have done it any differently & planning to cosleep with little miss.

It IS odd, isn't it? She isn't overly immature .. she has the usual teenage dramas (friends, boys, such-and-such had a party and so-and-so snuck alcohol in etc.), but she misses out on stuff like school excursions and sleep overs because she can't sleep in her own bed.

I wonder if it is because she and her Mum are a bit reliant on one another ... Like, her Dad works away heaps and her older siblings are in their 30s so it has pretty much always been just her and her Mum. But that's not really a viable theory on it's own, because there are plenty of single parents who have great, close relationships with their kids and have kids that can sleep alone.

IDK, it is really weird. I am relieved to hear that for the majority of co sleepers it doesn't turn out this way.

BTW - must have missed that bellybaby was a girl ... Congratulations!