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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Parents DO have a favourite child

    Parents who claim they love all their children equally are lying, a new book has sensationally claimed.

    Author and father of two Jeffrey Kluger's new book The Sibling Effect: What Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal About Us claims that all parents have a favourite child, no matter how much they deny it.


    "Ninety-five percent of parents in the world have a favourite child — and the other five per cent are lying," Kluger says.


    Kluger's claims are likely to incite angry denial from parents worldwide, but recent research suggests he's closer to the truth than most people care to admit.


    A recent University of California three-year study of 384 sibling pairs and their parents found that 70 percent of fathers and 65 percent of mothers exhibited a clear preference for one child.


    Study leaders think the real numbers could be much higher as the study participants knew they were being watched and probably modified their behaviour accordingly.


    Another study which asked siblings who they thought their parents favoured found that mothers were more likely to prefer their first-born son, while fathers doted on their youngest daughters.


    The research also found that parents were prone to prefer the child that shared their interests or personality traits — for example, fathers are likely to lavish sporty kids with affection, while the arty mother might prefer her quiet and sensitive child.


    While most parents will find it difficult to admit they have a favourite, parenting expert Naomi Richards says mums and dads need to stop lying to themselves.


    Once you realise that you do favour one child, you can change your behaviour to ensure your other children don't suffer.

    "Try to spend equal amounts of time with all of them," says Richards, ‘doing something with them that they enjoy. Rather than trying to get the fidgety one to enjoy the cinema, take him kite-flying with a friend. Don't get the bookish one to take up dancing or roller-skating — go to a museum.


    "Accentuating each child's positives will really help to balance your family dynamic. It just takes practice."

    Womens Weekly

    WDYT?

    I don't have favourites, I love them equally and differently and they both equally PMO sometimes

  2. #2
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    One of the bonuses of being an only I guess - clear favourite

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  4. #3
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    My kids are so completely different, it would impossible to have a favourite...One quiet, caring and gentle (DD) and ones an energetic little man with the cheekiest and funniest personality I've ever seen.

    I don't have a favourite, I love them both equally and differently.

  5. #4
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    My kids too are so different that I don't think I favour one over the other. Some days I feel like I do favour DD over DS because she is 2 and still doing those cute baby toddler type things. But then other days I feel like I favour DS because he is older and sometimes more interesting to be around. I too love them equally just perhaps differently.

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    I don't have a favourite child, but I do have a favourite 'age'.

    Ds is 3, and he is SUCH a three year old.

    Dd is 1 and she is just in that lovely phase. It's my favourite age. And also, I can deal with baby crying, and the normal developmental tantrums of her age, probably because I've already done it, and I understand it. I feel out of my depth with DS, we are both learning what to do as we go along.

    But I absolutely love and like then both equally, both the same, and both differently. I may prefer the company of my 1 year old more regularly at the moment, but I know that I love them both the same.

    The reason I can tell I do, is because when they are in bed, and I look in on them one last time before I go to bed, I get the exact same swelling in my chest at each of their doors.

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    I have a favourite - but I love them equally.

    Just because I "favour" one does not mean I love that child more than the other.

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  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkzy View Post
    I have a favourite - but I love them equally.

    Just because I "favour" one does not mean I love that child more than the other.
    Yes, my kids are different and require different parenting

    I have one child that needs to be pushed and encouraged and one that needs to be restrained and calmed

    They need different parenting but equal amounts of love

    I think a good parent recognises that their childern are different and to the outside casual observer that may appear that one child is loved more

    I don't think anyone can accurately measure how much I love either child

  11. #8
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    Well i'm going to go against what most are saying and admit i do have a 'favourite'. It's not that i love one more than the other, i love them both equally, but i do like one a little bit more.

    ETA: I don't make my favouritism obvious, i treat and love my children the same and care for them equally.
    Last edited by MothersMilk; 25-11-2011 at 15:27.

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    i think people are confusing favourite with love. IMO they're not saying you love one child more than another just prefer the nature of one child a little more.

    I agree with them tbh I have a favourite. But I dont LOVE my children any more or less than each other.

  13. #10
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    I love both my children equally, most definitely.

    In saying that though, I feel I relate more with DD2 than I do DD1. I feel DD1s personality clashes with mine, where DD2 and I get along a lot easier. Maybe its the ages and stages that they are both at though.

    I certainly don't play favoritism, I treat them equally.

    Sent from my HTC Desire using BubHub


 

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